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Stories, Poems and Notes to Self
Thoughts from Teachers / By Teachers
"HELPING THROUGH THE GRIEF"
"Thoughts on Life, Dying and Death"
November 16, 2006
Don't shed a tear, as I am still with you…
I am never as far as you think…
When in doubt…
Kneel down…
Close your eyes…
I'll be with you…
To comfort…
To guide…
To clear your confusions…
Remember…
My words lie inside you…
My existence is all around you…
I am never as far as you think
Copyright © 2006 Jariel Morales
November 16, 2006
MY TRIBUTE TO STEVE IRWIN
You had us all jumping out of our seats and
sometimes out of our skins.
You had us all holding our breath and wondering
if it was ok to breathe again.
You taught us about compassion and loving all
living things even the scary ones.
You showed us all the meaning of family by
showing us what yours meant to you.
You introduced us all to Terri, Bindi Sue, little Bob,
your dad and a dog named Sui.
You introduced us all to your unique way of talking
and to Aussie words like Crikey.
Most of all you taught us all that life has to lived to
it's fullest. Rest in peace Steve Irwin.
You will live on forever in our hearts.
Copyright © 2006 Lenny Schmidt
November 16, 2006
REMEMBERING OUR SON
By Mariane Holbrook
We'll only remember the good things
Like the day when our baby was born.
How he filled all our lives with such pleasure,
Never knowing that now we would mourn.
We'll only remember the good days,
Like the day when he ran to our arms
And he flashed his big smile so endearing
And displayed his unique baby charms.
We'll only remember the good things
Like the presents he wrapped with his love
And presented his heart to his parents
Like a gift straight from heaven above.
We'll only remember the fun times
When our family would gather as one,
And our laughter would fill all our household
At the antics of him, our dear son.
So today though we mourn at his passing
And we wipe sorrow's tears from our eyes,
We'll remember this son whom God gave us
And brought so much joy to our lives.
Copyright © 2006 Mariane Holbrook
Mariane Holbrook is a retired teacher, an author of two books, a musician and artist. She lives with her husband on coastal North Carolina. She maintains a personal website www.marianholbrook.com and welcomes your Emails at Mariane777@bellsouth.com.
November 16, 2006
LOST FAMILY
Just to be near my mother always made me feel great,
She was more than a mother; she was my best mate,
A tower of strength anytime I was down,
To lift up my spirits by acting the clown,
To join in my victories, to add to my cheer,
With a big grin, "good on ya" and a stubby beer.
The day she was born God discarded the mould,
And he fashioned by hand a heart of pure gold,
You're heartbeat is now stilled, I won't dwell on pain
I'll look into the future where we will meet once again,
For now, my sister, best friend Patsy, and my only mother,
R.I.P., you will remain in god's care and my heart forever.
Copyright © 2004 Tammy Clancy
When I was 12, I received a phone call while living with my grandmother - the caller was my grandfather. He had told me my mother and sister had been killed instantly in a truck accident. It has been 18 years and not a day goes by when I realise what I haven't got. All through school, and even now, I watch people with their families and it used to make me angry and jealous.
I have made a family of my own now. I have twin girls and a boy and I realise what I have and who needs me now. Death is a sad thing but from death comes a greater learning experience than anyone could ever imagine. As Steve Irwin had said about his mother, " No one in this world could comprehend how hard it is to lose someone close to you."
November 16, 2006
"It is not the world that is shattering; it is your illusion of the world."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Cassie B., Age 15 --- New York
This quote helped me through tough times. Instead of thinking horrible thoughts, I just thought about this quote and it made me feel better within minutes. This quote's is true because the world is not the same to everybody; everyone sees out their own eyes. We all see the world and the things around us differently.
November 16, 2006
I lost my mom to cancer 10 years ago this past August. I have never really dealt with her passing and now it has bubbled up in my life like a boiling pot of water. If you have lost your mom or dad or anyone close to you, please mourn them. Take the time to grieve. Love the ones who are still here and let them know it often. Forget the little irritations of the day because they aren't that significant in the long run. I love you Mom!
Amy Bocage --- Arizona
Submitted by
Comments
November 16, 2006
I know it's hard when losing someone you love; looking at the spot where they always sat to watch television, or looking at the other side of the bed where he/she slept. But we all know, no matter what the reason was, they are in a much better place. I am writing this for all of you who've lost someone you truly love, whether it be a mom, brother, husband, or child. We must always dwell on the good they have done. I know it's hard. I too lost 2 people I loved, my brother and my grandmother. They were great people and I hope I get a chance to see them one day. There is really nothing we can do to bring them back, so we must move on. No matter how hard it is, we must continue. I hope that everyone that is reading this will understand that it is time to move on. You must remember never to forget.
Matt F., Age 18 --- New Jersey
November 15, 2006
"My Best Friend"
With each passing day, I grow stronger,
Yet I still cannot let go.
I often question my reasoning
For feeling so low.
Still I put all of my faith in the Lord
Who looks after me from somewhere up above.
And I take comfort in knowing
That He holds me with His love.
There are days when it seems harder for me
To face the world outside.
Days when I feel as though my emotions
I cannot control or hide.
I believe in angels and I know that she is up there
Watching me in everything I do,
Yet sometimes I feel like that is not enough and that is selfish,
But still it is true.
There are so many things that happen from day to day
That I wish to share with her and only she would understand.
The kinds of things I would tell her about
And she would hold my hand.
They say that a person will not comprehend the importance
Of making the very best of the time that we have to spend
With the ones we truly love
Until we no longer have the chance.
It is then when they must come
To see the true meaning of The Dance.
One day I pray that I shall see her smiling face again.
This time I will swallow my pride
And remember she is my mom,
And also My Best Friend.
Copyright © 2005 Jaclyn Brooke Dale Tennyson
November 15, 2006
To My Daddy
I know you are a million miles away in heaven,
But yet your spirit is with me always...
Your body may have died but yet,
Your soul was set free of pains and worries...
So many memories make me think of you,
I will keep them in my heart forever...
I wish that I could hold you in my arms,
But I feel you around me all time...
I know you are in heaven with GOD, family and friends.
I feel good inside knowing you're not alone...
I know one day I will see you…
But until then, I will see you in my dreams...
I love you now and forever...
Copyright © 2006 Eliecer Perez
This is a Poem I wrote on my Dad's 2year anniversary of passing. Hope it bring you peace and understanding.
November 15, 2006
At the times the burden to bear,
Just seems to drag us into despair.
When the world strips you of your worth,
Flings gall at you and beat you down to earth.
Your hopes and dreams are taken away,
Stripped of your dignity and your soul let to bear.
Bills amounting and mouths to feed,
The manager lets go with minimum care.
The health issues of loved ones looms about,
There no way in heaven you can pay you know without a doubt.
Your screams and shouts of help,
In the pool of humanity is just like a yelp.
Ask God why he has left me so,
With no hopes and dreams, nowhere to go.
Prayed and listened but with silence it came,
Like a little voice that was drowned out during the day.
In the chase of money and worth,
I failed to listen to Him and his little ways.
“A gift I gave for you to share and bring light fore,
Many a path we must take but know what fire that burns within you forge”
“Be the gift that I bared, the seed I sowed within your soul,
So that you may make this world a better place not just for you alone”
“Follow you heart so that it may lead you there,
But remember too much head at times makes us goes nowhere”
“Many a dark places at times we must roam,
So that we may find within our heart the true way home”
The voice spoke it's piece and left,
I smiled and dived into the abyss without a care.
For I know at times of the deepest dark,
That consumes us, our soul and being whole.
The light that He has forged within,
Let us soar on angel’s wings.
Copyright © 2006 Eugene Chang Keng Ann
After trying hard to meet expectation as an accountant, my superior let me go and cited I was no fit to be one. It was the worst time he could do it since I really needed the money. And worst, that was what I always wanted to be. But truth be, sometimes things do work in mysterious ways and I took the time to grieve but also think when I was most complete in my life and finally found within the love to teach and currently trying to get into teaching. And I knew why I was unhappy all this time being something I was not. I wrote this in hope of sharing the thought that letting go and believing at times is a mircale in itself.
November 15, 2006
"God places the heaviest burden on those who can carry its weight."
I am witness to this, indeed.
I was only 3 when my parents divorced, but I remember very vividly the day it happened. It changed my life dramatically. But it didn't stop there. My life is in shambles after my beloved and fun-loving step-father, Kevin, left my mom and I after a small dispute with my mom. My brother and sister were grown up and moved out already, so I was left in a world of gloom and dread. We lost the house we lived in, and had to move into a shoddy one after that.
In 2004, my mother found out she had an iron deficiency and very thin blood when she cut herself shaving. After the wound refused to close, the doctors knew they had to amputate. So my already-unhealthy mother lost her leg. I lived by myself in a haunted house for three months. No, it wasn't haunted by demons or ghosts or spirits, but by sadness, misery, and depression. I was thrown into a world of oblivion, and the only way I could fight was to be angry and lashed out against the world.
Why me? I constantly asked. But no one answered. I lost God and became a heavy drinker. All at age 16. I was scared to be nice to people, and it was much easier to be arrogant and vindictive to everyone I knew. The straw broke the camel's back when I was a senior. I loved a girl for about three years and she decided to "hang-out". This went on for about a month when I would pour my heart out to her. One night she called me and told me she didn't want a boyfriend anymore.
I was shattered, and I tried killing myself. I got into self-mutilation- cutting with knifes and razors, burning with lighters, poking pins into my flesh. I worried everyone. But I found God again, and my close friends helped me cope. I also found this quote, which gave way to a new me. It made me see a new light.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Matt W. --- Ohio
After all I've been through, I've been trying to find an excuse for why I am put through so much. But finally I found the answer. I had never thought of it this way, and I'm glad I came across this quote while perusing through some inspirational words of wisdom. I was trying to blame Karma, God, and myself for these terrible things that I have been witness to. Now I know. I am the strongest, toughest, most thick-skinned human that I have the pleasure of knowing. I can brag about that. No one I am acquainted with has seen as much. When I read these words, shivers were sent down my spine and I became cold. Indeed, it was a majestic discovery.
November 15, 2006
"The pain I feel is great, no amount of time or help can take it away. I hurt each day since you went away, when we needed you the most, you flew away. It was unfair that you had to die the way you did. The pain I feel is great, no one knows what each day brings, but tomorrow with a song of praise, a tear in my eye and hope in my heart, I will rise again. For I know, you would wish me to live happy and well."
Written in 2006 by Moses Clive --- Uganda
I wake up and struggle each day with the death of my mom. Not a single day goes by that it haunts me. I still feel the pain, I am a Christian but still the pain and the healing is an ongoing process. When I think am over it, am back to square one. Pray for me.
November 15, 2006
She was my best friend. I could tell her anything that was on my mind and not be afraid of her judging me. When she died, she left my heart broken and my world a very lonely place. I didn't know what to do, how to deal with it or how to go on. So I just put it in the back of my mind and pretended that nothing happened. But unfortunately, 4 months later, the pain and suffering is worse now then ever before. When my mother died, it felt like I was wounded and could never recover. Nothing will help until the day I see her beautiful face again.
Written in 2006 by Crystal W., Age 16 --- California
November 15, 2006
This is for my neighbour, friend and hopefully my future partner. I submit this with love.
David Coote is going through a difficult time of need. His grandmother is on her death bed due to a disease that is incurable. Doctors can't do anything and have to drug her to keep her alive and assist in numbing the pain that is going through her fragile body. David's grandmother has raised him and plays and important part of his life.
You are in my prayers and will always be there for you in a time of need. I am literally an arm stretch away, seeing my apartment is pretty much next door. You have been there for more than you can imagine and taught me a big part on how to love and laugh again. I have lost 5 members of my family in a matter of 8 months. It is a time of helplessness and desperation. Love you Dave! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers in this difficult time of need.
From your neighbour (the girl next door)
Gezanne D'Assonville
November 15, 2006
A boy at our school was killed the other day and it hurts but I just wanted to say "WE LOVE YOU JOHN!!!!"
Written in 2006 by K.S., Age 17 --- Alabama
November 15, 2006
As I sit here today waiting for a beautiful tomorrow,
I plead to god not to give me any more sorrow,
As I say this I hear a voice deep down inside,
"My dear child only because you have this sorrow,
You have a hope for a better tomorrow
Hold on, keep going, keep fighting and
tomorrow shall have no more of this sorrow."
Written in 2006 by Jasleen Johar
Submitted by
Comments
November 15, 2006
"What the heart has once known it shall never forget."
Author Unknown
Submitted by E.B. --- New Mexico
In loving memory of Chris, Denise, Jaelynn, Veronica, LiL Leo, LiL Geno, Jaren & Natasha. Your memories give us the faith to go on.
November 15, 2006
Step Back
Take it all in
Watch the leaves shudder
In response to the stark breeze
Choke back tears
Hold tight to hands
Try to keep yourself from
Breaking down.
Five identical faces emerge from the crowd
Then six, then 7 Stone cold and blank,
Eight.
Hearts collapse inside chests
Weighed down from a burden far too big to bear
For children of that size.
When it happened
That's what we were,
We were children.
Birds soar over the beautiful site
Where he lays at rest.
Maternal smiles
Leave me confused
At the cemetery
Written in 2005 by Alicia S., Age 16 --- New York
This poem was written in loving memory of my friend John Anthony. He passed away on November 2nd, 2005 at the tender age of 16. His smile lives on in the hearts of those who love him. He will always be a part of us. We will never let him die.
November 15, 2006
"Some people leave our side, but never our mind."
Author Unknown
Submitted by R.I., Age 18 --- Michigan
Comments
November 15, 2006
Never a day passes by I don't think of you.
I can feel you still with me.
With every drop of rain that falls,
When the wind blows gently on my face,
When the snow falls lightly all around me,
And the sun fills me with its warmth,
I know it's you embracing me with your love.
Never will we be far apart.
You will always live on in my heart.
Copyright © 2001 Angela Grimes
I wrote this for a memorial for my Mom who died in 1999. She was actually my grandmother - who raised me from birth. She was a remarkable woman who suffered a lot in her life but she handled adversity with such grace. She is missed by all who knew her. I love you Mom.
November 15, 2006
"All endings are beginnings; we just don't know it at time."
Paulo Coelho
Submitted by Goofy D. --- Philippines
November 15, 2006
I lost my Father on June 24, 2006. It was the hardest day of my life. The first lost that I have had. What a way to experience death! On Friday I talked to my dad said "I love you, talk to you tomorrow". The next day my 15 year-old brother called me on the phone and said that my dad was on the way to the hospital. Needless did I know that he was going to be dead before he made it there. My life forever changed that day. Who I am will never really be again.
Written by Sarah Kramer --- Illinois
There was a poem read at his funeral that brings comfort to me. I hope it will do the same for you. It's called "I'm Free"
November 15, 2006
"Loved ones are not easily forgotten. However, in order to really be functional in this real world, you have to let go of the thought that they are not around and keep all the fond memories in your heart."
Copyright © 2005 Latoya Smith
I wrote this on the day my friend was buried. I had just lost my mother on Jan 10, 2005 to murder and my friend died in a car accident on Jan 20, 2005.
November 15, 2006
Losing someone you love is a very difficult event. Losing someone you love suddenly or without warning is even more difficult to handle. I love him. I rack my brain for things to say, appropriate things to say, however, I continue to come back to the fact that I loved him.
Family is a large word, six whole letters. Some people go through life not knowing their family, some may know theirs and chose not to associate, such a great loss. I am blessed to be part of a wonderful family and a wonderful extended family of friends. And so was Pops.
We all know how very much he loved his mother. He constantly stated she was all he had in this world and all that mattered to him… His Mother. And I know as I sit here, that there is a joyous reunion going on in Heaven.
It tends to rain every time I lose a loved one, or some storm rolls through and then the sky brightens and I feel that that is God in Heaven and all our loved ones, who have gone before us, beaming with joy over the new arrival.
I'm writing this the day Pops died, and it didn't rain today, no storm or anything. Father God, I wonder if that is significant? You took him suddenly, I'm a little upset, I don't think I hugged him when he left, and I always do. I know I didn't.
No storms came. He left my life as quietly as he entered it. I can't remember exactly when I started loving him and him I. I told him I loved him often. I loved you Pops and you will be greatly missed by me.
Written in 2006 by Cheroyal
I wrote this after losing a very special co-worker. Pops didn't have any family after his mother passed. I was the one who found him in his apartment deceased. I just had to write something to clear my head.
November 15, 2006
"We don't know what it's like to stand on a cloud or be happy and not hurt, for we know not what Heaven's like. "
Written in 2005 by Chelsey C., Age 17 --- Texas
I wrote this quote because Heaven is beyond our imagination. Our minds can't even comprehend what it is like. I hope that this quote helps someone in need.
November 15, 2006
RIP Leiff 1988-2006
On August 10th 2006 I lost the love of my life. As I am only 17 I suspect some of you probably think I am insane, that love at such a young age is impossible. It IS possible.
For 5 years I have been a heavy drug user. Cocaine, Meth, Ecstasy, Crack... you name it, I did it on a daily basis. I went to rehab on many occasions. For 5 years my parents tried everything there was to help me. I didn't change. If anything, I kept getting worse. I hated looking at myself in the mirror, I hated everything about myself and the world! Then I met Leiff.
The day I met Leiff, I slept at his house. I never ended up leaving. About 3 days after meeting me, Leiff broke up with a girlfriend of 2 years. We were in love. The way he would look at me, the way he'd say my name and "I love you", the way we would do EVERYTHING together. Basically, he was the one person I was waiting my whole life to meet.
One night, as I was coming home from getting groceries, I had an awful feeling. It felt as though something really bad was happening. Leiff was nowhere to be found. Later on that night, I was told Leiff was hit by a car. The second I heard that I knew in my heart I would never see him again. About 5 hours later I found out my Leiff died. My world shattered. I wouldn't eat. I could talk but I had no one and nothing to live for.
In a situation like this, everybody I knew - all my counselors, workers, friends and family - expected me to get even worse into the drugs, or kill myself. I didn't. I did the exact opposite.
The night Leiff died, I completely stopped using. There was just no point. Leiff showed me I was worth more, that there is a purpose in life. By loving me, he showed me that the emotions love can give you are more powerful and more amazing than any of the chemicals out there. Because Leiff loved me, today I am alive.
I know some of you may be reading this and thinking, "Oh, she's just a drug addict or not even understanding what I am saying". Basically there is a reason for everybody you meet and everything that happens in your life. Everything that happens, happens for a reason; there is a lesson to learn from it.
Why is it that I met Leiff at that particular point in time... just before his death? He saved me ... I was one of his missions.
When you are put on this earth there is a path set for you. You have certain missions you must accomplish and lessons you must learn. When someone dies, no matter how sudden, unexpected or horrible it is, it was meant to be that way. It was their time to go home and you must understand this. It is hard but it is true.
Remember that you do not lose someone when their body dies; their soul still lives... in our hearts and in our minds. Just cherish the memories you have with that person and remember when it is your time to go, your loved ones will be waiting for you with open arms, helping you find your way back home.
Written in 2006 by E.P., Age 17
November 15, 2006
Dear Mallory,
I didn't really know you.
The minutes we had exchanged were few.
I can see now that you were loved so much.
I can see all of the lives that you ever touched.
I only wish that I could've gotten to know you better.
That's the reason I writing this letter.
You were one awesome girl.
You made life fun in this world.
I just want you to know,
Just how much we love you so.
And even though you're gone,
Somehow with our memories, we will carry on.
Oh and one last thing that I want to say...
Is that I hope you have bunches of fun
Up in Heaven everyday!
~Love Casey C.
P.S. I can't wait to meet you up in Heaven!
Maybe we can go to a 7-11! (lol)
I know that no matter what,
We will have tons of fun!
But my life here is not done.
Since you're up there,
Please save me a place,
Mallory, I can't wait to see again your beautiful face.
Written in 2006 by Casey C., Age 15 - Tennessee
This poem is really a letter in dedication to Mallory Scott, age 18, who died in a traffic accident this year. My whole school was hurt by the loss of her. She was loved by so many people it's unreal. I didn't know her all that well, but I wish that I did now. Everyone kept saying what a great person she was, but now I will never get to meet her. People die to make LIFE important.(six feet under) Cherish the moments you have with everyone in your life, because you won't always have them.
LOSING LOVED ONES...
When loved ones leave us we are filled with sadness.
When we are in denial, the fact that they're gone is madness!
I know that we shouldn't be this way because in the end
We still have what matters most, which are the memories.
We should be happy that they're in a better place,
That they have no more problems to face.
They probably miss us so much too,
And only wish that we knew.
The loss of a loved one may tear at our hearts,
But just think, your life with them in HEAVEN has yet to Start!
Written in 2006 by Casey C., Age 15 --- Tennessee
I believe that there is life after death. So don't be full of grief, but feel happy and be glad that you still can see them up in Heaven.
July 17, 2006
FREEDOM FOR A PRICE
Sleep your time away
Lose the time, it's gone
Forget your yesterdays
Pass the time, it's done
You're left standing alone
Fending for your own
But I'm fighting for you
But I'm striving for you
It just took me away
Nothing I could do
Remember me today
I will return to you soon
You're left crying alone
You must comfort your own
But I'm crying for you
But I'm trying for you
Please don't go away
Say you'll wait for me
Pray for us today
Accept my apology
Please release your sorrow
Let us do our part
Hope for better tomorrow
I will hold you in my heart
And you will never be alone
In God you're always home
And I will breathe . . .
And I will bleed . . .
And I will strive . . .
And I will fight . . .
And I will try . . .
And I will cry . . .
And I will die for you . . .all for you
It's All for you . . .
Nathan Bouchard
Submitted by Irene S. --- California
Nathan Bouchard, who is the author of this poem, was killed 8-18-05 in operation Iraqi Freedom, the war on terrorism, in Sammara, Iraq when a roadside bomb ripped through his Humvee.
July 17, 2006
"When someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Anna Wallin --- New Mexico
My best friend recently lost a pregnancy of twin boys at 22 weeks due to twin to twin transfusion. This quote has reminded me that no matter how brief the time or how few the memories, never let go of a single second. Though we never got had the joy of seeing them alive, we will never forget their beautiful faces and the short time we spent with them after birth - they will always be in our hearts. We love you Mason and Connor!
July 17, 2006
"There are times when things feel wrong, people are cold and mean, life seems unfair, and I wonder if I am the only one hurting this bad? I miss you my friend, where have you gone??? I feel like I am living in a dream, not accepting you can't ever be near me. If only you were here, you'd know how I feel."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Julie Love, Europe
July 17, 2006
"If you love someone, you should learn to let them go."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Neejoo S., Age 13 --- Russia
This gives me inspiration for my broken heart.
July 17, 2006
"Those whom we love never truly leave us. They are always with us in our hearts and our soul and our mind. "
Author Unknown
Submitted by Jasmine Dixon --- United Kingdom
July 17, 2006
CRUEL KATRINA
Silence, no words spoken
Yet spoken in the mind
They talk without moving their mouths
They cry, they cry the tears of destruction
Their native land destroyed by a raving mad woman
Named Katrina, she's ruthless, heartless
She left many to die in the cold
Many died by her angry waters
The Gulf Of Mexico, non-existent
New Orleans, Well it'll never be the same
And the people wailed and wept
For their lost loved ones
Children searching for their parents
Husbands searching for their wives
But they can't find them
The stench of death fills the air
The people live in poverty and despair
Who will help them?
Who will come to their deliverance?
God almighty, spare them, ease their pain
Give them shelter
Because Fema sure's not going to deliver them
The Mardi Gras, they had it anyway
And they had a good time
And they pick up the pieces and start all over again.
Copyright © 2006 Angela Wilson
July 17, 2006
"The certainty of tomorrow is but a hope and a dream. Of time we know nothing at all but its tenacity to remain. The gift of life is an opportunity for one to expand himself through experiences and relationships. When time calls for life to cease we must respect and appreciate the moments we were privileged to know, because as it was in the beginning so shall it be in the end. We will one day reunite following this circle of life."
Copyright © 2006 Anthony S. Austin, Jr.
Love is life. Without love, we are mere zombies without direction and unbalanced reason.
July 17, 2006
TEARS OF JOY REMEMBERED
"If grief is remembered joy, and my tears are proof of love, I will cry a river for you that runs to the sea and never ends."
Be at peace, though, my son. My tears are no longer shed in despair. I think of you with every beat of my heart, but I think of your life and the light shining from you; I dare not think of your death. The darkness of your last mournful breath should not shadow the brilliance of your beautiful life. I will not allow it. I will not darken your name, but shout it out loud. I will continue to shine your light to the far ends of our world so that everyone can see it, and they will know that you, with your beautiful soul, left my world a better place.
My grief is indeed remembered joy. It is the price of loving. You were my Sunshine; you warmed my heart and soul. I cannot look at your picture, hug your clothes, or sleep in your bed without remembering the joy you gave me.
If I shed a tear and remember joy, why would I want my tears to end? You are still giving to me. You are still teaching me. Your love is still within me. We have come full circle, my son. Through all things, and for all time, we are connected. You dwell within me and I am at peace.
In stillness and solitude, your light shines on and in me. Your Sunshine still warms my heart and soul, forever mine to hold.
Forever,
Mom
Copyright © 2006 Susan Patterson
In honor of her son, Grant, who committed suicide on December 25th, 2005
July 17, 2006
"Through everything in life, all you need is to smile at something and remember that it all happens for a reason. No matter how much it may hurt, find someone you can cry on, even if it's yourself."
Written in 2006 by Elizabeth C., Age 17 --- West Virginia
I still remember you, Brenda, even though it was 13 years ago that I watched you die. I still love you --- you were the woman that was my other mother, because my Mom was abusive. I remember what you told me, too..."When you look at the stars smiling down on you, Elizabeth, smile back and blow a kiss because it's really me doing the same." Cancer sucks...do everything to avoid it and cherish those you lose, because you never know when you'll see them smile again.
July 17, 2006
"I must keep laughing instead of crying. I must keep fighting until I'm dying."
Written in 2006 by Diamond W., Age 13 --- Wales
This was inspired by something Paul Robeson said.
July 17, 2006
"Life is like a clock. We are born, grow up and die according to our biological clock. But we should not cry at the demise of our beloved but instead we should try to fulfill their wishes and be happy, as our beloved would never want us to be unhappy".
Author Unknown
Submitted by M.S. --- India
July 17, 2006
"We may be the product of our past but don't become a prisoner of it."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Gregory R., Age 15 --- Ghana
July 17, 2006
Two months ago, I was in depression. I didn't know how to survive without hurting myself, so I called my best friend that I left when I moved away, Alicia. She was the only person who understood how I felt, and she was the only one I truly lived for. We even planned a special weekend together, so we could bond and talk about how we both felt. I was happy we planned it, and after my mother confirmed, it was all set.
The next morning, I awoke to a loud phone ring and loud sobbing on the other end of the phone. After I had figured out what my other friend was saying, I fell on the floor in hysterical sobs. Alicia had passed away that night from rare sleep syndrome. I didn't know what to do, but after I came crying to school and my friends figured out what was wrong, they helped me through my depression and through the pain of Alicia's death. Now I still remember her, but only the pleasant times we've shared, and now she is more alive then ever before.
Written in 2006 by KJB, Age 13 --- Canada
July 17, 2006
She loved me from the day I was born,
She has always been there when I mourned,
She would always be at the door,
She was there whenever I needed care,
She kept away the polar bears,
She taught me all that she cared,
To run with the wolves,
To fly with the birds,
To swim with the whales,
To sing with the wind,
To dance with the clouds,
To roam the land,
To scare the nightmares,
To care about the beauty of the sea,
And to create beauty from what I see,
She loved me,
She cared me,
She was always there for me,
She kept away the polar bears.
Copyright © 2005 Christine K. Kagak
I wrote this poem shortly after my grandmother died, & I found that writing poems helped me get my feelings out.
July 17, 2006
Sometimes we have to let go of the ones we never want to lose
But in this case it was in God's hands and not for me to choose
The tears would run down my face to the thought of this day
The day you'd go and be with the angels and be so far away
But then I came to realize from the bottom of my heart
Nothing has ever gotten between us and has ever torn us apart
You are still deep inside me I can still feel you there
Now you are with everyone and you can be everywhere
I know now that you are happy and not sick in any way
But the thought of you passing beside me happens each and every day
I know you know we love you
And I know you love us too
It's just going to take some time for us to make it through
You've brought our family so close together
As I felt us fall apart
Don't ever think we've forgotten you
You are forever in our hearts
Written in 2006 by Molly B., Age 15 --- Illinois
My father was never in the picture of my life. My Papa (grandfather) was. He was my father until I was 7 years old when my mom got married. Papa was always there for me, for everything I ever did. As the years went on he became sick all the time. Then he got Leukemia and couldn't get any treatment because it would've killed him. He died on January 29, 2006. I held his hand as he passed away. It was really a blessing that he went because he hated living the way he was. He couldn't do anything anymore. I've learned to express my feelings through poetry. It's really helped me a lot.
July 17, 2006
"Life is painful here on earth, but just remember: Far beyond the Sun you have a home, a Home Sweet Home, where there will be eternal happiness."
Written in 2006 by J.M., Age 14 --- California
I always keep this in mind.
July 17, 2006
"Today may just be a regular day, but tomorrow it may mean the last."
Written in 2006 by K.R., Age 13 --- Indiana
I wrote this in memory of my baby cousin who has passed away on October 15, 2003. Although we knew she wasn't going to live long, we still didn't think the 7 months that she lived was long enough. We all now know she is in heaven and out of the way from many of the harms today. Sarah Veronica Fleck, may you rest in peace, forever.
July 17, 2006
Our Tribute to Kittie (Evangelyne) LeBlanc
Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.
Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
And the old life that we lived so fondly together
Is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other,
That we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort,
Without the ghost of a shadow upon it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
Somewhere very near, just round the corner.
All is well.
Author Unknown
What is this thing that men call death,
This quiet passing in the night?
'Tis not the end, but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light.
O God, touch Thou my aching heart,
And calm my troubled, haunting fears.
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure,
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.
There is no death, but only change
With recompense for victory won;
The gift of Him who loved all men,
The Son of God, the Holy One.
Gordon B. Hinckley
When I die, if you need to weep
Cry for your brother or sister
Walking the street beside you
And when you need me
Put your arms around anyone
And give them what you need to give me.
I want to leave you something
Something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I've known or loved.
And if you cannot give me away
At least let me live in your eyes and not on your mind.
You can love me most by letting hands touch hands
By letting bodies touch bodies
And by letting go of children that need to be free.
Love doesn't die, people do
So when all that's left of me is love
Give me away.
Author Unknown
"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy."
Author Unknown
"Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come."
Author Unknown
Submitted by LeVa Clement --- Mississippi
Kittie died a year ago after surviving Leukemia and a serious infection during chemo that required her to be on the respirator. She died from a blood clot that went to the Brain stem. She was the love of my son, Cory Russell. They were to be married in June 2005. We love and miss you Kittie. She was also the ex-wife of No. 5 of "Slipknot".
July 17, 2006
I never gave up searching for you, my son, when you were kidnapped. My heart died. I finally found you again after twenty something years. Then, you came to stay with me. I went out of my way to make up for all the years we lost, but it wasn't to be. You were so different - we only hurt each other. Now you are gone, after harsh words. You would not talk to me and the hurt was as if you died again. But I am okay. You see, the Lord stretched forth his hands and took away all the grief and hurt.
Written in 2006 by Teri Sexton
I wrote this after finding my kidnapped son in 2001. We have not spoken; we both were hurt. After finding him, he came to live with me but he wanted revenge and he hurt me really bad. But God helped me through it. I wanted to die for a while but now I am okay. I just finished taking my GED. I passed all but the math but I am getting help with that to take it over.
July 17, 2006
"The soul would have no rainbow if we did not shed our tears."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Jacqueline Kerr --- United Kingdom
July 17, 2006
"The pain of the heart is far worse than the pain of the body. For it only takes but a short time for the body to heal, the heart can take a lifetime."
Written in 2006 by Angela Miranda
July 17, 2006
Wish I could hold you up and hug you tight
And make all the pain go away
I've watched you ache and heard your tears,
But all the grief still stayed.
So I wonder why God hasn't taken it from you,
Even though he heard all your cries.
Then I realized that he wanted you to grow slowly
But preciously in his sight.
I am going to have to get out of bed every morning,
And live every day with your image etched into my memory …
Every time I close my eyes I will see your face,
Every time the room gets so silent
You can hear a pin drop
Your voice will come to me ...
Every time I blink away the tears,
Your arms will enclose me ...
Every time I pray
I will send kisses up to heaven for you ...
My only wish is that I didn't have to ... live here ...
With you there.
I still think of you day in and day out ...
I still wake up at night with a cold sweat on my skin
From a dream about you ...
I still get lost in my thoughts of you ...
I still look around when someone calls your name ...
I still feel the tears in my eyes when mail comes for you ...
I still turn down all the lights at night and cry for you ...
Only for you.
If only I could hear your voice one more time ...
Guiding me through ...
My shining light ...
Maybe that would stop my tears...
Maybe if I could just see your face ...
My heart would stop it's grieving ...
Maybe if I could just let you know I love you ...
One more time...
That would keep my mind at ease ...
Maybe if ... I had told you one more time
How much you mean to me ...
How much I look up to you ...
How scared I am going to be without you ...
You wouldn't have left ... maybe if.
Why do I have to say goodbye?
Why does it have to be her?
Why does it have to be now?
What am I supposed to learn?
That death hurts?
I know it does ...
I know that it's never going to be the same.
I can learn that lesson without losing her,
God, please don't take her away.
There is not too much in this world
That means anything to me right now,
But without her, I am going to stop caring ...
My heart is going to break when hers stops ...
And I am not going to be able to go on ...
I am not going to be able to smile
Once she is gone.
Written in 2006 by Kelcie C., Age 16 --- Utah
I just lost my aunt and she was my best friend, the one I looked to for advice and everything else. I looked up to her too. I really miss her and wish that I could have said goodbye to her. But even though she is gone, she still taught me a new lesson - don't waste life being unhappy, live life to the fullest and everything will work out. I miss and love you Aunt Marie, you will forever be with me!!!
July 17, 2006
ORPHAN CHILD
An orphan child, standing in sea beach,
Saw another child playing with his parents.
Filled with grief, sorrows and memories,
He sings...
"No Ray, No Way. No Time to say.
Oh Mama Papa, You are away.
To send my Love, what is the way?
To show my light, which is the ray?
Just can say, find your praise in my Pray.
Written in 2006 by Sandeep Kaur --- India
July 17, 2006
"The greatest revenge is living well."
Dr. Phil
Submitted by Mary M. --- California
I repeat this quote to myself whenever I think about my ex husband. I realize that rather than getting mad or bitter, if I live well (financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, academically, socially and economically)...it is the sweetest revenge of all.
March 15, 2006
My father died during the World Trade Center attacks, and I watched it happen out of my science classroom window on the 5th floor when we were all supposed to be looking out the window to find a birds nest in the trees below. Your poems and words have helped me deal. Although it was 5 years ago that this happened, it happens again nightly in my dreams.
I thank everyone who contributed to this wonderful section, I read every submission and I think all those people feeling like me helped me with my grief. I still miss my father, I probably always will, but thank you all for making a wonderful memorial site.
Hannah M., Age 14 --- New York
March 15, 2006
"Thirteen years ago this very day, I said goodbye to my best friend Jay. He lived and loved life like none other. How UNFAIR it is to lose one's brother."
Written in 2005 by Sammy O'Cain
The AIDS epidemic becomes all too personal when we lose someone near and dear to us. Jay died at the young age of 35. He was such a loving and creative soul who had such a bright future. Before he was too sick to work, he realized his dream of owning and operating a flower shop in San Francisco. Our mother helped him in the store and on Saturday evenings, when the parade of drag queens and street workers passed by asking for money, Jay would place mom outside with an armful of long-stemmed red roses instead. What a wonderful gesture of love and compassion from someone who knew his days were numbered. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him...and miss him.
March 15, 2006
"When you feel at your worst and you think there is no point in carrying on just remember....things can only get better."
Written in 2005 by P.O., Age 17 --- England
March 15, 2006
"The darkest hour is before the sun comes up."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Amanda F. --- QLD, Australia
March 15, 2006
"People don't remain alive depending on how long they're alive in body. People remain alive for as long as you remember them."
Written in 2006 by Asha M., Age 15
March 15, 2006
"Sometimes in life, a big smile and a great big hug is all you need to get going. It helps to give your close friends a big hug, show them hat you care. Sometimes, giving a big hug lightens up their mood, brightens up their day. So whenever you see someone you care about, smile and give them a big hug. I assure you, it means the world to them."
All the troubles in the world seemed to rain down on me. It was unbearable. I just could not take it any more. My mind was too clouded, I could not think clearly. All the crazy evil suicide ideas seemed to fill my brain. I was thinking of walking right into the path of an on coming vehicle. I searched for God; I could not find him. There was just an empty feeling inside of me. It was a crazy do or die feeling. It was the worst mental torture of my life. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I wanted to cry out in anger, but anger seemed to have run away from me. The feeling I had at that moment was beyond words. I felt empty, lonely, hopeless and helpless. There was no love in my heart, only hatred and bitterness.
But then out of the blue, I met my best friend, Lina. I saw her smile, I saw Jesus, I saw love, I saw hope. That single smile lightened up my spirits. Then she caught me by surprise, by giving me a big hug. I was not expecting that. But with that single big hug, I felt Jesus. I felt peace. I felt that he was hugging me, saying "Everything's gonna be alright, take it easy, just calm down, relax. I'm here now".
All the empty feelings I had, seemed to vanish up in the air. I felt the heavy burden being lifted from me. No more empty feelings, no more sadness, no more bitterness and hatred. The only thing I felt at that moment was love. Love that can be only described as heavenly love. I realized that it was Jesus who came personally to meet me that day. He was the one that smiled at me; he was the one that hugged me. He was the one that calmed me down, assuring me that everything's gonna be alright.
In life, when we are really broken hearted, when we feel that life can't go on and that our world has to come to an end; when we feel hopeless, helpless, lonely, bitter, hatred and when we feel that there is no peace, no love, that is the moment, Jesus steps out of heaven and comes to meet you personally. He might not come as a person, but he will come through someone, maybe through a loved one or even a stranger, but he will always be there to give you peace and love, calm you down and give you a reason that life should go on.
It is amazing how God works. Well he is a God of wonders, God of peace and love. Think of anything good in this world, well he is also a god of that too.. Last but not the least, Jesus is also a god of friendship, he is the only best friend you can ever get in this world. Whatever you feel, he feels it too. When you cry, he cries too, when you are sad, he is sad too, when you are happy, he is happy too. The best thing I have ever seen him do, was when he smiled at me, when he hugged me, I didn't want to let go.
Give everyone a smile, and don't forget to hug your loved ones whenever you can...just don't go out and start hugging everyone you meet, because you might be in for a nasty surprise! God Bless!
Written in 2006 by Christine M.S. --- Fiji
I would like to thank my best friend, Chandel
March 15, 2006
Sometimes... when there's nowhere to turn, your heart starts to burn…away. You either got dumped, beat by someone or just don't feel so great. But don't you worry, God gives you strength, you just have to have faith in him... You don't have to pray, he knows right away the troubles at your door. So don't you give up, just try to stand up and keep at the game. So now my friend, this is the end of this song, but remember: It's not the end of your life.
Written in 2005 by Emma O., Age 13 --- British Columbia , Canada
I just wanted to reach all you guys out there:) My song is saying, God is listening to us, he knows what's wrong, but sometimes it is up to you to stay strong. You understand? So please oh please don't think that nonsense about running away, doing drugs because of peer pressure, or suicide, divorce, break up, or anything else. No copy cats please thanks:)
March 15, 2006
Everyday inspired by a song
Even when I go through with my inspirations
It never falls through
No matter what I do or what I have done
I sit and sit
Just to think
But only realizing at the end
It's only time that I'm wasting
Everyday I still look for motivation
Still doesn't work
Too proud to cry
Too stupid to realize
That the worst thing that can happen...is...
Nothing
Gotta keep on going
Gotta keep on moving
Just to make it happen...
I gotta do it
For my own sake
This time it's for myself
I'm first priority
Then it's everybody else
Deep look in the mirror
I checked what I have
I have knowledge
I have what it takes
Just to do it right
Gotta give it all
All of my heart
Gotta do it for my pride
People only see the shell
But never take time
To look at what I have inside
Copyright © 2005 Jonathan Espinoza
March 15, 2006
Brandon, at age 23 you were just beginning your life as an adult. I felt as though my whole world fell apart when your dad and I received the news of your accident. I did not want to accept that it was true. I feel as if part of my heart has been ripped out and there are no patches big enough to cover it, but, I am reminded that we are not alone. God has filled that ripped out place and He is mending it a little at a time. Yes, it still hurts. I lost you on October 1, 2005 and the pain, the words of this tragedy are still so clear. I drive by the site of where you were hit by a drunk driver. It haunts me each time I drive by. I love you and you will always be loved. You were the greatest and I am your biggest fan.
Written in 2006 by Brenda Evans
March 15, 2006
"A lifetime of waiting is nothing compared to forever with you."
Written in 2000 by Emily Barker
My mother died when I was 10 years old after a 5 1/2 month battle with cancer. We prayed and prayed that she would make it through the holidays and she went into the hospital for the last time on New Years Day 6 years ago.
March 15, 2006
Accidents happen, that's what they all say.
That's why you are gone, oh so far away.
A young life lost, to great heaven above.
Flying away like a beautiful dove.
A handsome guy, with a thousand great friends,
None of whose hearts will ever mend.
A bright young kid, always wearing a smile;
Always willing to sacrifice and go the extra mile.
Some people talk, and yea they will chatter.
But we keep your family and friends strong, that's the real matter.
You have bright new angel wings,
And heaven rejoiced and oh, did they sing.
A young boy with the most tender heart,
you care and watch over us never really to part.
Now he is safe, and away from all harm.
But we will all miss your amazing charm.
Watch over us from above
Travis Wayne Godwin 12/05,
Connie Wayne Tart Jr., aka "TiZzLe" 10/05,
Christopher Dale Sullivan 11/05
We Miss You Tons!
Written by Ashley O., Age 18 --- North Carolina
Only the good die young.
March 15, 2006
"Death is only but a journey for God's people, for we know that our eternal home is Heaven."
Copyright © 2006 Paul Sibanda
March 15, 2006
"Sometimes, death is a release."
Kierkegaard
Submitted by B. T. Philleus --- Lithuania
I love this quote because I am inspired of my homeland, Iceland. I love Iceland, which I visit every year. Iceland gets very dark when it is wintertime, but Kierkegaard and other's quotes help many of us to push through and be better and happy.
March 15, 2006
I was left crestfallen for so long,
Can't find the cure though it's not unknown.
I tried to live but life was dull.
I sought too much but found no one.
I thought I'll always stay this way,
A blessed old maid in dismay.
But my fate twisted,
You were sent.
Our paths have crossed and it brought difference.
I love the way you talked to me.
The glimpse, I long to catch and see.
Those teeth that grind as you laugh
And your drop-dead gorgeous locks.
I like it when you read me quotes.
Old or new, I want them both
And though I hate your nasty act,
It doesn't deter me to love you back.
But is happiness really time-bound?
A sudden change in you I've found.
The glow that I saw in your eyes and smile,
Were changed into pretension and lies.
I hate the way I still fall deeper each day.
When you seemed so cold and far away.
I don't know what was with you?
What I have done? I didn't know.
I regret the fact that I lose control,
Without reassurance, I immediately go.
If I had known you better,
Had known you more,
I should have prevented another hurting
In this core.
Yet, everything has been said and done.
To move on was my immediate plan.
I know that's something too hard for me to do,
But it's much harder to stay in love with you.
Written in 2006 by Enitomei CM --- Philippines
They say that writing what you feel takes out the bitterness and pain.. But I must say, it could also heal.. ;-)
March 15, 2006
DON'T EVER FEAR DEATH.... BECAUSE....
Life begins after death. Life begins after you have been buried to a mausoleum. It may sound inane , but the irrevocable death brings in for you a new life. Our lives are full of struggle, which moribunds after death. The soul escapes from the clutches of the impish milieu of this materialistic world. The inclemency of so-called life is obfuscating. When you die "life" begins and you start observing yourself. Your soul experiences the eternal love; the love of God. You being a masochist ends, you being a narcissist ends, you cease to be impetuous and you experience the love of God.
Written in 2006 by Dinesh Verma --- India
March 15, 2006
"Live each day as if it was your last."
Author Unknown
Submitted by N.M., Age 14 --- Scotland, United Kingdom
Two boys I knew died just before Christmas in a car crash. One was 17 and the other was 18. Life is unpredictable and you never know when the end is about to come.
March 15, 2006
THE RECOVERY OF HER MIND
Her bare feet sank into the colors of dusk;
Spring had returned and winter had melted.
The evening sky blazed like the "great fire of London",
Though, her reminiscence of yesterday's grief lingered no more.
Her heart sang the last love song
As she danced the last Rumba on the shore of Brighton.
The music of the sea caressed her calm soul,
And the crescendo of the empty beach pacified her inner world.
The memories of the deadly fire was, now, cremated, totally;
Now, the entire world was in her cupped hands.
Copyright © 2006 Tri Tran
Reflection of London in the 19TH century, when THE GREAT FIRE OF LONDON occurred.
YEARS OF DARKNESS
My lonesome nights outnumber my days,
Darkness fills each empty space of time.
The sun has bled his auburn glow,
The moon has let go of her light,
Each fiery ember of my heart, dimming
Whispering tears, like hissing snakes,
Weave in and out of the jungles' trees-
Seeking shelter to rest their tired voice;
Murmuring wails vibrate the sad galaxy,
In my arteries, thousand knives, piercing those tiny corpuscles.
Copyright © 2006 Tri Tran
March 15, 2006
"They were chosen for a reason! God has a plan!"
Written in 2003 by David H. --- South Carolina
My heart goes out to anyone who's ever lost anyone to the hands of our all mighty God. This quote was one that came to me one night after the loss of someone very dear to many and loved by all.
March 15, 2006
"Stand for something or fall for nothing."
Uncle Richard
Submitted by Nicholas E., Age 15 --- Delaware
I miss you Uncle Rich, R.I.P
March 15, 2006
"God never said he would keep us from having to mourn. He did say he would be with us when we do mourn."
Dale Beaver --- Motor Racing Outreach
Submitted by Lenny & Peggy Schmidt
"It's the saddest day on earth when we lose someone we love. For them, it's their happiest day because they are going into heaven."
Robby Loomis
Submitted by Lenny & Peggy Schmidt
From the Hendrick Motorsports Candlelight Vigil 10/27/04
March 15, 2006
"Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first time or the last time. That way your time on Earth will be filled with glory."
Betty Smith
Submitted by Ange E., Age 15 --- NSW, Australia
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith makes us whole."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Ange E., Age 15 --- NSW, Australia
"What God intended for you goes far beyond anything you can imagine."
Oprah Winfrey
Submitted by Ange E., Age 15 --- NSW, Australia
March 15, 2006
"Look up, what do you see? The sky? There are more things beyond the sky."
Written by Ogunyemi Sola Solajacobs --- Nigeria
What you are passing through is not the end of your life.
March 15, 2006
"When all else is lost, the future remains."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Naren Dharmaraj --- India
March 15, 2006
I have been trying to deal with grief surrounding my mother since a small child. I am adopted; my biological mother abandoned me when I was 8. Throughout my childhood years I clung to my image of her, everything I had of her I kept. To me, she was so special, a princess; I just figured she couldn't handle me, just like the rest of my foster families. I loved her with every ounce in my body and felt that this would bring us back together again. I clung to the idea that she would always come back. I loved her very much.
Occasionally I would hear from her on holidays, I think it was when she most regretted giving me up. Throughout my life, growing up, I was cautioned to straighten up or I would end up like her. More often than not I'd hear people say how much I looked like her and, later, how I attracted trouble like her. Although I was adopted into a loving and supportive family, I never allowed myself to feel loved or to love anyone but my mother. Eventually this thinking got me in jail.
When I was 20 I began to allow her in my life. We started building our relationship (what we could), until I got out of jail on November 22, 2004. I tried to live with her, but it didn't work. I didn't want to leave her though. She was a very depressed woman and I loved her so much, no matter what pain I went through I couldn't leave her. I stayed in the same town, but got my own place in late January 2005. She came by my place early on the 3rd of February to talk, but I couldn't because I had to go to work. I didn't even let her in my house. I can still remember how she looked and her driving away as I did.
On February 8th I was frantically looking for my mom. I had called her employer to find her and found that she'd quit that Friday so she wasn't there. She had been an in-home caregiver, which means she didn't have a home.
As I drove toward one of her favorite places I received a phone call from a state police officer telling me that her car had been found at Cape Arago, a lookout to the ocean (our special spot), and she was nowhere to be found.
The whole next month is a blur for me. We couldn't find her. There were empty bottles of pills in the front seat of the car, as well as a last will and testament and a few letters to family. It looked as if she was living out of her car.
I think it was the second week of March when they found her. They are certain she died that day I was looking for her. I never got to say goodbye. I haven't even been able to look at a picture of her. I can't stand it that all year, if I do talk about her, it is as if I don't care, no big deal. I shrugged it off because it is so hard to deal with. I feel her all the time and it hurts so badly.
I haven't gotten on my feet again; I lost my job and had to move in with my aunt. Most times I have a really hard time with her suicide, and with the way my life has gone and how often I've heard people say I've followed in her footsteps in so many ways, but I can strongly say that one quote has kept me going through it all. Something that Maya Angelou said in a speech:
"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage need not be lived again."
This gives me the hope for myself that I control my destiny, and how I will continue to live my life. I still love her, but I am not her. I miss her so much.
Written in 2006 by Elizabeth H. --- Oregon
Thank you for such a wonderful site. I felt comfortable for the first time since my mother's death, talking about it.
March 15, 2006
"What will survive of us is love."
Author Unknown
Submitted by S. Heighwaya --- United Kingdom
I saw these words inscribed into one of the most beautiful, artistic gravestones ever. When I read this it touched me deep inside, in that place where you just 'know', without knowing how, that something is true. It's the same as when Eckhart Tolle says that - "Death is a stripping away of all that is not you" - you somehow just know it's true!!
March 15, 2006
A few months ago, my dad told my brother and me that he was leaving us. It hit me like a bullet. For the next two weeks I did not talk to him. I prayed and asked God to help me through this time. For a while, things got worse. My dad told me that he would come to my choir practice but didn't show. When he called, he didn't even ask how my choir went. It broke my heart when he didn't come but it broke it even more when he didn't ask me how it went. Later on my dad apologized and said he would make it up to me. I said that the only way he could make it up to me was for him to come home. Two months later he told us that he was coming back to stay. He promised to never leave us again and not come back.
Written in 2006 by Laura R., Age 13 --- Georgia
March 15, 2006
"Footprints, in the sands of time, are not made by sitting down."
Author Unknown
Submitted by R.S. --- Florida
This helped me a lot when I was going through manic depression. I looked at this quote and realized that I had to move on with my life and make the footprints deep and meaningful.
March 15, 2006
YOU'RE MISSED
It's surprising how often I think of you, turn to speak to you, and realize you're not there, as I expect you to be. I guess I hold you so close in thought, that it's hard to understand sometimes that you aren't close in person. But I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, and wishing we could talk, laugh, cry, just like we use to. You're really missed. I'll see you in my dreams, Mikey. Love, Mom
Written in 2006 by Mary H. Silva --- Texas
On May 22, 2005 one of my four sons, Mike, 25 years old was killed in a motorcycle accident. He loved rock music (TOOL) and riding his dirt bike with his brothers and cousins. He would always tell them that someday they "should" go out to the levees and watch the sun come up.
Well, on this beautiful Texas morning he went alone to do what was always a "something" he wanted to do, and paid with his life. On unleveled ground, he lost control and was thrown several feet away from his bike. I later was told by one of the policemen, who was nice enough to show me the exact location where he was found, that Mike was facing eastward when he was found at about 9:30a.m.
We miss him terribly, especially HIS brothers, they were very close. Now we just visit the site. We've set up a memoriam with a cross and flowers at the site. We often go and watch the sunset, where my baby saw his last Sunrise.
March 15, 2006
"Grief is the agony of an instant, the indulgence of grief the blunder of a life."
Benjamin Disraeli
March 15, 2006
"The ones we love never really leave us. You can always find them, right inside your heart."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Natalie T., Age 14 --- California
I do believe that those who have died are watching over us. And for everyone who has lost someone, like me, just try to remember that they really aren't lost at all. They will never be gone. As long as you keep them close to you, in mind and in heart, they will never be gone.
March 15, 2006
"Most people feel that suicide is the best choice when you have all these problems that keep building up. But that isn't your only choice. Try and work things out and choose a different path."
Written in 2006 by Michelle P., Age 14 --- Connecticut
"When no one is there for you, you should be happy that you have yourself."
Written in 2006 by Michelle P., Age 14 --- Connecticut
"Don't take every minute, every hour, every step, every laugh, every day, every month, every year, and everything for granted, because you never know when it could be the last."
Written in 2006 by Michelle P., Age 14 --- Connecticut
December 14, 2005
"Only those who have known so great a love can feel so deep a sorrow."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Robert S. --- United Kingdom
December 14, 2005
January 11th
I woke up thinking that this was going to be just another day. Boy was I wrong. My grandpa was in the hospital because he was sick. No big deal, he'll get better - he always did. We were visiting him, about to go home and come back tomorrow. About nine that night everything was about to change.
Sitting next to him, holding his hand so tight not ever wanting to let go, I realized something I never wanted to realize; I was losing him. Every time I looked at him, I saw pain. I didn't want my grandpa to be in pain anymore but I wasn't ready for him to leave me. So I held tighter, thinking that he couldn't leave me if I kept holding on to him. Suddenly, while sitting there with him, I felt relief around me. I looked up and knew I lost him.
I cried for days, not knowing how to live. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, and couldn't do anything. We were so close and God do I miss him everyday.
I was always told that pain would heal with time but every time I had a moment that I want to share with him, I couldn't. I look around and I can't find him. I still cry when I think of him and the Holidays don't help.
It has been two years this past January and I'm missing and hurting just as much as the day I lost him. I'm trying to go on with my daily life but something will happen to remind me of him and I fall apart and have to start all over trying to get over my grandpa's death.
Sometimes I can go a while without thinking about how he is gone then some little thing will pop out at me and I just stop and have to take a second to try to keep myself from shattering into a million pieces like I did that one day long ago.
I want him to always know that I love him and I'm missing him everyday and nothing would or could ever change that. You are my hero and the man I have always and will always admire. I will keep on smiling because I would hate the world to be a dark place, since you always said that my smile could light the whole world. I will remember the things you told me and think about how everything always happens for a reason.... even though I don't understand why you were taken away from me.
Maybe some day I will understand, but for right now: Grandpa, I am just missing you.
Written in 2005 by Jenny T., Age 19 --- Illinois
December 14, 2005
"God will either lighten your load or strengthen your back."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Lenny Leclercq --- Indiana
December 14, 2005
Dear Josie, the toughest broad we have ever known
The determined radical with a purity of spirit and a gentle soul
Dearest Josie- a loving mother to many, sister, daughter, aunt
A friend to all
And especially a devoted wife to David
You who inspired the weary, guided the lost
Nurtured and healed the wounded hearts and broken spirits
With your infinite love
Dearest Josie, modest and unassuming,
Compassionate and quietly encouraging
You have taught us all; the very essence of humanity
Your accomplishments are endless, your gifts infinite
You died your death as you lived your life
On your own terms, always guided by your inner truth
Though your earthly eyes can no longer see
Nor you earthly eyes can no longer comfort us
Your spirit remains eternal- continuously present
To nurture us, comfort us, motivate us
And occasionally kick a little ass
It has been a precious gift and a true honor
To have shared this time on earth with you
The lessons you have taught will remain with us always
We will try to live our lives by your example
And continue to strive to live as fully as you did
Until we meet again, we honour you
We hold you tenderly in our hearts
Take pity on us when we falter
Send strength when we are weak
Watch over all of us who were left behind
Go with God
Until we meet again
Dear Josie, so long, but never goodbye
Written in 2005 by Peggy Jenkinson
We lost Josie on July 27, 2005 after a grueling battle with glioblastoma. She was one of a kind and we miss her.
December 14, 2005
"Always give it your best each and every play, and every game....you never know which one will be your last. Hold onto your dreams, believe in yourself, practice hard, work hard, and play ball."
My Grandfather
Submitted by Andrew Howard --- Maryland
When my grandfather passed away, I promised him I would always carry him with me...the last two things he said to me as I we finally shut off the lights for the last time were these. I have brought these with me everywhere and will never forget him.
December 14, 2005
"Life is a glass, so fragile yet so beautiful. Take care of it and it shines, misuse it and it breaks."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Samuel C., Age 16 --- Singapore
December 14, 2005
"A thousand words cannot bring you back, I know because I've tried. A thousand tears cannot bring you back I know because I've cried!"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Ashley R., Age 15 --- Ohio
Comments
December 14, 2005
"A smile heals the wounding of a frown."
Author Unknown
Submitted by C.F., Age 16 --- Scotland, United Kingdom
I heard this from a friend after losing my grandmother. I thought it might be helpful to those who read this as it was to me.
December 14, 2005
I have no idea who wrote this poem, but my dad knew it by heart, and from hearing him recite it so many times, so do I. It was truly the way he lived his entire life, all 96 years, even after he had his stroke on August 10, 2004. It gives me some sense of comfort to remember these words as in my mind I can hear him recite them.
My dad died on January 2, 2005, after 4 1/2 months of battling a debilitating stroke that left him paralyzed on his right side. Through it all, he never lost his positive outlook--we call him "our eternal optimist".
If you fail to hit a home run in this puzzling game of life,
And the battle seems so uncertain as to battle against the strife.
When you're blue and sort of lonely, and you don't know where to steer,
Find some true companion to help drive away your fear.
Just remember, there are other people riding in a hearse,
Who'd love to have your chances, conditions might be worse.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Shari Wood --- Ohio
December 14, 2005
"When the storms of life come to unravel your foundation, take refuge in the center of God's will."
Written in 2005 by R. Mayberry --- Ohio
December 14, 2005
"Death is not the end, but a glorious new beginning."
William J. Shapley
Submitted by Carolyn Nicholls --- United Kingdom
This is one of my Father's sayings on death to me. It has so much meaning with such a wonderful thought that death need not be feared so much as we move on in our life cycle to greater depths.
December 14, 2005
When I was a boy, my best friend lived next door, was five days older than I, and we did everything together. When we were 17, he got into cars, and I into motorcycles. I used to do what I could to tell him that cars sucked, and bikes ruled. He got a bike at 20, and at 20 years and 6 months he was killed on the bike. I had not experienced anything like it before, and for the first three years there was not a day that passed without him being in my mind.
Then one day I had a dream. It was like no other dream because the memory of it did not fade on waking. Even now I remember it as if it was something that happened.
In the dream, my friend appeared in my house, and he told me he knew I had been worrying about him, and he had come to show me what he was doing. We moved to go down the stairs together and immediately we were somewhere aloft, over a vast landscape. In the distance there was a magnificent golden city, too bright to make out any real detail.
We approached it and got down to ground level, and moved slowly along a road. On either side were fields, and there was no traffic. Instead, the road was filled with a line of people of all ages, slowly making their way to the same destination. Even though little children were playing and hanging onto the adults' legs, none of the latter were annoyed. On the contrary, everyone looked very content indeed, with everyone talking to everyone else.
As we moved along the road we came to a small hump back bridge. I could not see beyond it. My friend told me this was as far as I could come and that I should not worry about him any more. He went over the bridge and disappeared from my view and I woke up. From that day, I never grieved for him any more but joyfully reflected on the insight I had received in that special dream.
Written in 2005 by Adrian Melia --- United Kingdom
December 14, 2005
"Patience is the remedy for every suffering."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Jith B. --- India
December 14, 2005
"It does not matter how deep you fall, what matters is how high you bounce back."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Sreekanth Garikapati --- India
I was told this by my college Principal when I was going through a though time in life because of my father's death. I was over burdened with my entire family's responsibility and I am very grateful to my Principal, Mr. Mahesh Kumar, for his help.
December 14, 2005
You gave me life, put your love in my heart,
Now God's cut it to short, and it's time for us to part.
With my memories few, each one I bless,
I'll keep you in my dreams, where you can let your love rest.
Each day I'll confide to you, how I feel inside,
I'll try to make you proud, mom, while I try not to cry.
With my head to my knees, and flowers to my chest,
I lay them down slowly, on the grave in which you rest.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Lauren K., Age 15 --- Michigan
I just thought this was the perfect poem for my situation. July 10th, 2005 my mom passed away at only 47 years old leaving my brother and me to my father. God rest her beautiful soul.
December 14, 2005
"Although we will never want to believe this, we are better off with guardian angels to guide us through life, all of our journeys, and to let us be sure that we're never alone, no matter what."
Written in 2005 by K.C., Age 18 --- NL, Canada
December 14, 2005
"When you think that all is over for you because you have lost someone who is special to you...someone who is closer to you every moment...someone who is there to share your thoughts...someone who helps you up when you are down... then I am here to tell you that it's not over until you give it up. And even when you give it up, God still has plans for you. So take heart and be strong for it shall happen live and colored."
Written in 2005 by Zakiyu Iddris Tandunayir --- Ghana
I wrote this in the memory of 4 of our future leaders, who just passed away in an accident that occurred at Nima gutter, the members of Black Survivors Youth Club and our mom, Auntie Murgana.
December 14, 2005
"Two broken people can't fix each other."
Written in 2005 by Amrita B., Age 17 --- New York
I said this to a friend while we were both mourning the loss of a dear friend. She wanted my help but I needed help myself and those were the words that came out when she asked for it. Looking back, I feel kind of bad, but if I agreed, I doubt I would have been of any REAL help.
December 14, 2005
SONG OF A CYPRESS
as daylight fades into darkness
and the shadows close around
may the brightest star in heaven
shine down on me from afar
her heart in sweet surrender
to the ocean of night;
left in deep slumber
in the crevices of time
a sad distant song comes linger
fallen embers of the past;
an amber moon looms over;
gentle caress upon tired eyes
the faint song of the cypress
sends shivers to my soul
in this crest of darkness
may I dance above it all
Written in 2004 by Ireene R. Capulong
Grief is a very long journey. It feels like a rushing current that keeps sucking you underneath the raging waters. I'd lost my little sister a long time ago; a time when I was too young to understand how to process grief. Until one day, when someone had made me realize that empty spot in me... ungrieved pain. Then everything just fell into its place... I've met people who have helped me reparent that child in me who was suffering silently for that loss.
December 14, 2005
"The cherish memories of yesterday are sometimes the best guard from the pains tomorrow may bring."
Copyright © 2005 Amanda Lizaire
Void of words to write on a holiday card to my best friend who told me the sad news facing her sister with glioblastoma brain cancer, I thought of these words above.
December 14, 2005
HOW MUCH I'VE MISSED YOU
How much have I missed you?
A whole lot.
Not one day has passed
When I don't think about your face.
It hurts so much
To know you're not near.
Just the thought of knowing
I can never see you again
Kills me within.
Where have you gone?
Will I see you again?
I love you so much
I can't stand the feeling
Of never seeing you again.
How much have I missed you?
A whole lot.
Every time I think about your death
I feel lonely and sad.
Every time I'm alone
I weep and deny the grave I see
With your written name on the side
I know you're gone
But I can't accept the fact
That you're not coming back.
I hope at least you know
I miss you a whole lot.
Not one day has passed
When I don't think about you.
But I wish I could turn back time
And hold you tight.
I love you, brother
And remember,
You'll never be forgotten
When my heart only thinks about you
And the one day we spent together
Which was the first and the last.
I actually hoped to spent more time with you
But I guess God made other plans
For all of us that have missed you.
Please tell me I will see you again.
I need my brother
I need your advice
I need your friendship
But mostly I need to see you alive
Written in 2005 by Cindy C., Age 16 --- California
I wrote this poem myself to express what I was feeling when my brother died. I just hope it can help someone like it did to me. It's a horrible feeling losing someone you love but I know that my brother wouldn't want me to remember him on how he died, but how he shared his life with his family. I miss him still today but I know that soon, I'll see him again.
December 14, 2005
She was a beautiful jewel that God wanted to keep. Please know that she'll be with you in your dreams. Up in the white, fluffy, castle clouds smiling and playing as she is looking down. It feels like there's no reason, it all seems so unfair. You ask God why? Why couldn't she be here? He has a reason for wanting to keep her you may never understand. But she'll always be with you, holding your hand. She was a beautiful jewel that God wanted to keep. She'll be with you ALWAYS in your dreams.
Written in 2005 by Jaimie Eshleman
This is for a friend of mine who lost her baby 5 days before she was due. The doctors don't know what happened, but she was absolutely beautiful. I pray that she will make herself known to her mother, father, and family so they can start to recover from her loss... we'll miss you Jordyn!
December 14, 2005
My aunt and uncle passed away on October 12, 2005 at separate hospitals- My aunt had heart surgery on Sept. 29, 2005. My uncle had a stroke on Sept. 28, 2005 while playing golf. Because they were in two separate hospitals my uncle was not able to see my aunt before he died. On the morning of the 12th my uncle passed and my aunt followed. They were meant to be together forever. They had a double funeral- wore the outfits they wore for their 50th anniversary in July 2005- they were buried on Sweetest Day TOGETHER! They wouldn't have had it any other way. Prayers for my three cousins they left behind.
Written in 2005 by Sandi Nucci --- Michigan
December 14, 2005
IN LOVING MEMORY
CONNIE WAYNE TART JR.- AKA: 'TIZZLE'
10-07-05
How crazy could this be?
You were only nineteen.
At first I didn't believe it was true
How could it happen to you?
I drove by the scene and saw the marks
Suddenly my world went dark
I still didn't think it could be you
So we went and saw your car too
Then reality hit,
It really was you
Saturday night we went to the wake
Why couldn't this be fake?
Sunday came
It was time for the funeral
As the preacher spoke,
And the songs played
Tears streamed down everyone's face,
Then they rolled you away
And that's when I realized
You were going to another place.
We gathered around the gravesite
And said goodbyes,
We miss you dawg,
You were too young to die!
Written in 2005 by Ashley Overfield --- North Carolina
December 14, 2005
When my brother died six years ago one of my very good friends, who already lost a family member in death, told me the following:
"When someone dies, it is God's day of picking flowers from His garden for the Heavenly Flower arrangement. And on this day, He saw that my brother was the most beautiful one in the garden and decided to pick Him for the arrangement. We all have to die; it is the way of life. We can choose to not accept it, and risk the chance of forsaking those loved ones because they do want us to remember the good times, the times we laughed and cried together and wait for the day that we will be chosen for the Heavenly Flower arrangement."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Natalia Visagie --- South Africa
December 14, 2005
"Today is today; you're going to do your normal daily stuff. But what about tomorrow? Put everything in the past, because tomorrow is a new today."
Written in 2005 by Kyra G., Age 15 --- Oregon
This is dedicated to my cousin Paula who died. It tells me that tomorrow was never promised and I have to take things as they come.
December 14, 2005
MOTHER
Mother, it's been six years since you left;
things haven't been the same since.
Mother, if you could've held on a little longer
I don't know if I make sense.
Mother, we still have and remember
your sense of humor and laughter.
Mother, we will never forget your smiles,
tears and little jokes after.
Mother, once you left us,
everything started to fall apart.
Mother, you were one mind,
you were one body and one heart.
Mother, you shared your things, knowledge,
wisdom, and love.
Mother, you were very kind
and gentle like a dove.
Mother, we keep and cherish every moment
we had with you.
Mother, remember us,
keep us in your songs and prayers too.
Mother, there is no one like you
and no one to take your place.
Mother, we remember your touch, smell,
eyes and your face.
Mother, you had patience, respect
and you were always very clever.
Mother, we shall once again be with you
and live with you forever.
Written in 2005 by Johnny Spence --- Canada
December 14, 2005
ACCEPTANCE
Accepting loss is to recover from loss. As you continue to recover from loss, an invisible scar will form on your heart and may occasionally ache. You may not know when this will happen, but you have the skills to cope when these difficult times come. Loss is inevitable. Accepting loss is a choice you make as part of your recovery. Understand that recovery will be a back and forth process like the ebb and flow of the tide. As the waves continue to crash upon the shore, you will hold your head high, meet the challenges of your losses and accept them. For acceptance and recovery has made you a much stronger swimmer.
Copyright © 2001 Holly Faunce
Created as a part of my recovery from losing both my parents in 2000 and 2001.
December 14, 2005
REST IN PEACE
ELIZABETH BISLAND
9-27-92 to 8-10-04
On August 10th, 2004, an 11-year-old girl in my hometown died. We were in school together since we were little, girl scouts, basketball and softball too. She was so beautiful and innocent. She drowned. She was playing a game in the pool. When she went to get out of the pool, she fainted. When you fall back, you take a big breath of air. Well hers wasn't air, it was water and she instantly drowned She is dearly missed and loved by everyone.
Name Withheld, Age 13 --- New York
I love and miss you a lot Elizabeth; you too, Danny.
December 14, 2005
"To meet and depart is way of life; depart and meet is hope of life."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Hemlata Paranjape --- India
December 14, 2005
With the death of every friend I love . . . a part of me has been buried . . . but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength, and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world.
Helen Keller
October 5, 2005
"There's no love like a mother's love."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Thandi Hlatshwayo --- Mbabane, Swaziland
After losing one brother in 1997, I told my self that at least I still had both parents. Then I lost my dad in 1998. Although it was difficult for me and my other brothers to come into terms with the loss, we still survived. Then in June 2004, I was told that my mom had Hepatitis B and there was no cure for it since it was in an advanced stage. I never gave up on her. In August, she was bedridden and I stayed at the hospital looking after her, hoping and praying for a miracle, since the doctors had told me that there was nothing they could do for her anymore. I never gave up until she was in a coma and succumbed to death on the 29 November 2004. I was alone in the ward and I watched her die peacefully. I also did the funeral arrangements and everything and am now am looking after the younger ones. My whole life changed completely after losing my mom. I have cried a million times, tears dry but I feel that I still have more to cry. I just cannot live with the fact that she is gone. All in all there is no love like a mother's love, her place will never be replaced.
October 5, 2005
"When someone you love is gone & you think they will be forgotten, remember all the good times you had, pass them on & cherish them forever."
Written in 2005 by LeAnne V., Age 13 --- Mississippi
I recently had a good friend whose only parent (her dad) died & I was trying to think of something to give her.
October 5, 2005
Walk In My Shoes
Must have...positive attitude,
And must be...strong,
And must not...fall apart,
Always look on the...bright side,
The grass is not...greener,
Must make the best of what I...have,
No matter what...happens,
I must always...remember,
That love is not broken.
Written in 2005 by Julia R., Age 16 --- NSW, Australia
I wrote this when my mother was very ill with breast cancer. She's passed on since and I often have to resort to this poem to keep myself going.
October 5, 2005
"Cry your heart out, let it all go, because after every tear comes a rainbow."
Author Unknown
Submitted by A.E., Age 15 --- Michigan
October 5, 2005
"As sadness casts its shadow today, may the light of memories stay with you through each tomorrow."
Author Unknown
"A coward dies a thousand deaths; a hero dies but once."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Andrew K., Age 15 --- United Kingdom
When I lost a friend of mine I found these two quotes. They've helped me overcome the loss. Just thinking of these quotes reminds me of what a great person he was.
October 5, 2005
They say memories are golden
Well maybe that is true
I never wanted memories
I only wanted you
A million times I've needed you
A million times I've cried
If love alone could've saved you
You would've never died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart I hold a place
No one could ever fill
If tears could build a staircase
And heartache make a lane
I'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you back again
The family chain is broken
And nothing seems the same
But as God calls us one by one
The chain will link again
Author Unknown
Submitted by U.R., Age 15 --- Michigan
This is in memory of my aunt. Thank you Ashley G.
October 5, 2005
"Turn to the sun and you can't see the shadow. If there are clouds, it's just a little more foggy. Look again and it will always be there. What are you seeking the sun or the shadow?"
Michaelynn Thompson (My Mom)
When I had a bad day, my mom use to tell this to me so I would look to the positive side. If I still couldn't see, I had to name 3 good things that happened that day. Once my mom died, I always thought of this quote. I hope it helps others like it did me.
As I grew up, my mother and I were best friends. It was always just she and I. We talked about everything. I'll never forget the day I found her face down in the hospital bed. It was a cold rainy February 13th night. We had gone to the hospital because she was having back pains and vomiting. I had skipped school to be with her.
I remember when we were in the hall, before they took her in, she looked at me and said, "You know I love you Kenzey". I said, "I know mom, I love you too".
I hugged her and she gave me a kiss. Little did I know that was the last time I'd hear her ever say that. I remember before they did the scan, before we knew what was going on, we were laughing and making fun of some magazine that was in the room. They took her to get a scan and I said I was going to take a nap. When they came back, she took a nap too.
I remember waking up 3 hours later and looking at her. She was face down in her pillow. Her nails were blue and she was getting cold. I didn't know what was going on so I went to the front desk. They ran down there and told me to go get help. I did.
They told me she wasn't breathing. I had never felt so desperate. I felt my world slipping away. All the good times flashed before me as I walked out of the room, looking back at the blue light above the door and the doctors rushing around her.
I remember calling my bishop and my best friend. They both came up to the hospital just in time to hear the doctor say that they were sorry because they couldn't resuscitate her.
My bishop gave me a blessing while I was holding my best friend's hand. I knew while he was saying the blessing that everything would be okay in the long run. I knew this was just a trial that I would have to get through and people were looking to me to be strong.
I remember as I looked at her in the casket, she looked so peaceful. I knew she was sad to have left me. I also knew she would always be with me, no matter what. I know she watches me from heaven and guides me constantly.
At the funeral my favorite cousin took me on a walk. He held my hand and told me that he loved me. He said I was the strongest person he knew. He showed me the tattoo my mom took him to get when he was 17. He had put her name across the top and when she was born and died.
My mom died just before I turned 14, now I'm 15. I think about her all the time. Just seeing the pictures of her and I when I was little let's me know that everything is okay and I can be with her again one day - because families are forever. I know they are. I know she's happy and there was a job she had to do that no one else could do. I know I'll be with her again and I know she's always with me.
I just forget sometimes.
I love her dearly and I can still feel her presence. I know that she lives in me when I do good and even when I do bad. I know she's a part of me and I'm so thankful.
We all come to earth to live learn and love but everyone has to eventually leave. It was just her time. Mine will come too one day. Then we will be reunited in the glorious presence of the Lord. I can hardly wait.
Written in 2005 by Kenzey Thompson
October 5, 2005
My son who valiantly flies the sky
Will leave the earth at dawn to fly and kill again.
The neighbors say that he will get a shining cross to wear.
They talk as if eleven lives weren't cross enough to bear.
Author Unknown
Submitted by D. Kapp --- Pennsylvania
I don't know who the author of the poem is. I memorized it for school over 30 years ago. It is as relevant now as it was for me during the "Viet Nam" era.
October 5, 2005
You Waited For Me To Get Home
You said you didn't call the ambulance.
You wanted to be home when I got there.
I didn't try to write to you.
I knew you'd be home.
I had the most awesome holiday.
I'm glad I told you about it
On the way to the hospital.
The E.D. staff teased me
Because I was nearly asleep 23 hours.
Flying will do that.
I was so tired.
But you seemed ok when I left you.
Everything was fine,
So I didn't come to see you the next day.
And the hospital phoned and said you were fine.
You would be home mid week
I sorted my work gear for the next day
I phoned Mark and was told you were in hospital but ok
I don't know why I didn't phone you
Then that night,
While I was talking to Mark on the phone,
My cell phone rang
It was the hospital
They said you'd died
You weren't supposed to die
But you waited for me to get home
What am I going to do now you're gone, mum?
Written in 2005 by Micky Sherwood
October 5, 2005
When I was only 13, I lost my best friend. It was really hard and I thought that life couldn't get any worse. But it did. Last year, on Christmas Eve, my grandmother died. It was the worst day of my life. I didn't know something like that would hurt so much. Just a month ago today, my uncle died. I don't know how many other people I'm going to loose in my lifetime, but all I know is that I miss them so much.
Dedicated to:
Henry "Grand Pop" Briel
Audrey "Nan" Cummins
Billy "Uncle Bill" Balch
Rest In Peace
If tears could build a stairway
And memories were a lane
I'd walk right up to heaven
To bring you home again.
No farewell words were spoken;
No time to say goodbye.
You were gone before we knew it
And only god knows why.
My heart still aches in sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
No one will ever know.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Stefanie B., Age 15 --- Virginia
October 5, 2005
And if I go, while you're still here
Know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure
Behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me, so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again,
Both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest.
And if you should need me,
Just whisper my name in your heart;
I will be there.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Jaimie Eshleman --- Pennsylvania
My father found this about a month before his 8 year battle with emphysema ended...it helps me everyday knowing that he is still watching over me, and also that someday we'll be together again.
Love you dad.
October 5, 2005
I am a 25-year-old male who recently lost my 27-year-old best friend. He died from an overdose of pills. There's nothing that I want more than to see him again. Since his death, I have become a totally different person. I'm now on the path that I should be on and I think it would make him happy to know that. Now I see how precious life is and put every ounce of my energy into the loved ones who are still with me. That's why I'm here.......to care.
Written in 2005 by Jonathan Jones --- Virginia
October 5, 2005
"God brings men into deep waters not to drown them, but to cleanse them."
James H. Aughey
"It's easy to be pleasant when life flows like a song, but the man worth while is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. For the test of the heart is trouble, and it always comes with years, and the smile that is worth the praises of earth is the smile that shines through the tears."
Old Irish Blessing
Submitted by Kity T., Age 15 --- Haryana, India
One should never lose hope in life as, "Hope sustains life".
October 5, 2005
I Wish
I wish you were here to share my life,
To hear what you think of me being a midwife.
I wish you were in the photos I took today,
Not confined to the albums I've tucked away.
I wish you were here to hold my hand,
Those times I know you're the only one who'd understand.
I wish you were here to help my heart mend,
That I'd got to know you more as a friend.
I wish you were here to meet my man,
And I'd see my babies held by their great gran.
I wish you were here to see the day that I wed,
Not confined to my heart or memories instead.
I wish you were here to hear the poems that I wrote,
And here to receive all the time I'd devote.
I wish you were here to make me laugh like you used to,
To make me smile when I'm in need of a booster.
I wish you were here as I think of you tonight,
But I can never wish you back, try as I might.
Copyright © 2004 Stephanie Ineson
We all miss those we love who are no longer with us, here on earth in material form. But their memory, spirit and love will always surround us.
October 5, 2005
"AIDS is a monster that brings our land to the brink of catastrophe."
Written in 2005 by Machacha P. Phillemon --- South Africa
This quote is taken from one of my poems titled, "Bad Visitor"
October 5, 2005
In memory of my husband, who I loved dearly
James Ray Oden
04/23/58 -12/01/04
On Dec.1, 2004, I lost my husband of almost 22 years due to myeloma cancer. I love and miss him dearly. I can feel his presence everywhere. I don't really know how I'm dealing with this because I miss him so much. I wake up every day and think I'm dreaming he's going to be in the next room. This man, the love of my life, and my best friend was only 46 years old. I never thought I could hurt so badly, the pain is so severe. I pray every night that the pain will just ease up a little. I will love you forever and we will be together again.
Your wife, Kat
October 5, 2005
My mum is suffering
Her chest is aching
Her eyes are crying
Her body is weakening
I am learning
I am hoping
I am wishing
I am teaching her to accept suffering and to stop fearing
Written in 2005 by Goh Kok Ching, Singapore
This dedicated to my mum who has breast cancer. She has to suffer everyday unlike normal people like you and me. I hope that I can learn more things and teach her more about life, so that she can learn to accept her adversity and whatever unfolds.
June 15, 2005
I cried a thousand years,
a salty river flowed.
I think I will drown in my own tears,
cause I cannot let you go.
Written in 2005 by Ashley W., Age 15 --- Washington
My mom died a few months ago, and I cry so often that I feel like I am going to choke to death. Even when I have no tears left, somehow there's always more.
June 15, 2005
"When you are in your mother's stomach, you don't know how great and beautiful life is, therefore, if life is this great... how great is Heaven?"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Emily P., Age 13 --- Ohio
I know that Heaven is a wonderful place... because I BELIEVE.
June 15, 2005
"When put through hard times by God, it is not a punishment but a test on how you will conquer your problem."
Copyright © 2005 Matt Wendorf
June 15, 2005
I lost my identical twin sister in 2005 to a vehicle accident. While dealing with all of this I had the stressfulness and privilege of planning her funeral the way I wanted it. That meant having to write a poem to be put on her head stone. That was one of the hardest thing I think I ever had to do. I was so proud of the piece when I was finished. I poured my heart and soul into it and I would like to share it with all of you.
LIFETIME WISH
If I could have one life time wish
One dream come true
I would pray to God with all my heart
For yesterday and you
A thousand words can't bring you back
I know because I've tried
And neither will a million tears
I know because I've cried
You left behind broken hearts
And happy memories too
But I never wanted memories
I only wanted you
To your resting place I go
Flowers are placed with care
But nobody knows the heartache I feel
As I turn and leave you there
Written in 2005 by N.J., Age 21, Indiana
June 15, 2005
"Remember, as much as your sorrow is today, so shall your joy be someday. God will not put you through so much pain if he does not have so much happiness already planned for you...the universe has always maintained a constant stream of balance."
Copyright © 2005 Kamala Binol
June 15, 2005
"What is death? It is the crossing of the soul into heaven or hell. It teaches that no one is invincible. It shows that love goes beyond life. It makes me wonder why I ever worried about life. It proves that it doesn't matter what you do in life. It won't bring you down or raise you to the top. It brings shivers to some and makes some people happy. It puts the thought of the perfect place, where nothing is wrong. It makes me think of nothing but god and myself. It says that everyone dies...but this isn't true either. It will never be true if you truly love someone. It will never take control of me. I live for the moment, I live for what god wants of me, I live for fun, I live to love. I love life but I can't wait until I'm in the lord's grasp, never to worry about anything ever again."
Larry Childs
Submitted by S.F., Age 16 --- Illinois
My uncle wrote this to me
June 15, 2005
"When you think you cannot go further, Hope whispers, 'Just one more step'."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Christian Nyame --- Accra, Ghana
June 15, 2005
Learn to make the most of life
Lose no happy day
Time will never bring them back
Chances swept away
Lose no tender word unsaid
Love while it shall last
The mill will never grind again
With waters that have passed.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Shantala Kothare --- Maharashtra, India
June 15, 2005
"Pain will always be there; friends will too. Lean on them and let them help you heal. Everyone heals differently, but we'll heal altogether."
Written in 2005 by Cassi B., Age 13 --- Massachusetts
June 15, 2005
YOU ARE
As my tears began to flow from my eyes
I am reminded of where you are.
Although you are an eternity away from me,
I know that you are not very far.
You are in the bright stars
That twinkle above my head at night.
You are in the warmth of the morning sun
Which gives me much-needed light.
You are in the song sung by the flock of doves
Which nestle in the trees.
You are in the gentle feel, on my face,
Of the tropical breeze.
You are in the sound of the white-capped waves
Which break upon the shore.
You are in the livelihood of the fish swimming
In the ocean's depths for evermore.
You are in the peals of merry laughter
Which beckon to my longing ears.
You are in the resonating shouts of joy
Which always dries my tears.
You are in the whispered reassurance of love
Coming from the lips of loved ones.
You are in the firm exhortations to,
"Go forth this day and, for me, have much fun!"
You are in the furry softness of my dog, Haiku
Cozying up near my face.
You are in the inaudible sound of God's beauty
Which fills this Place.
You are in the sad lullabies
Of both Elvis Presley and Bobby Vinton.
Yet you are also in the happy love-stories
From Chuck Berry and George Harrison.
You are everywhere I go,
No matter how eternally far away you are from me.
All I have to do is live for your love--
Not only externally but also from deep down within.
Now, as my tears begin to flow from my eyes
I will be reminded of where you are.
Although you are an eternity away from me,
I know that you will never be very far.
Written in 2005 by Jolene C. --- Hawaii
I wrote this poem in loving, tearful tribute to my father, who died on June 13, 2004.
June 15, 2005
"Death is a reminder that there are few things in this life that we have control over, Death, being one of them. We always have complete control over the 'choices' we make for ourselves. We can choose to focus on the 'gifts' that were brought into our life by the person who is passing, and choose to use these 'gifts' in living our life to the fullest."
Copyright © 2005 Michelle W. Seamons
This came to my mind as I am in the 'grieving' process of losing a Dear Friend in my life.
June 15, 2005
"Why is it that we do not LIVE EACH MOMENT as though it were our last? Each beautiful moment we are sharing with someone who is close to our hearts, could very well be the 'last page' of the chapter of having that person in our life. May we cherish each moment we are living."
Copyright © 2005 Michelle W. Seamons
I am in the process of losing a dear friend. It is now apparent that although her 'strong willed' heart is still beating, it is not for long, and all the lights will soon be turned off. We had an entire year of 'adventures' planned to take together this year, we both intended to make this year GREATER than last year, knowing that topping 'Last Year' would be tough... Now, it is known that topping 'Last Year' together, would be impossible.
June 15, 2005
I recently turned 16 and have been thinking about the rest of my life. I have a college placement and a full time job, all of my own back, but something is missing. I realized it is the 9 people I have lost in my life in the last 9 years.
This hurts me because the people I lost were the people I always needed and who always managed to make me smile. The most recent is my Nan who died last August, and I wrote in about it last year, including a poem I had written.
But my purpose of writing today isn't to cry; it is to show other people and especially teenagers that even someone like me, who is only 16, and lost 9 people in 9 years, has come so far. The people I lost and the pain I felt have had a long-term good effect, because I now know how to help other people who need me, and I can be successful.
So to anyone reading this, time is the best healer, and as I recall saying last time... one day will be a better day. At the time of loss, it will seem like your life has ended, you don't want to go on living, and you are in denial, because you convince yourself it isn't true, and even people I lost a few years ago, I still have trouble telling myself they aren't there.
So you see it takes a long time but the pain will always be there. All you have to do is make sure you remember the good times... and know that your pain can be channeled into helping others as I have done.
As I look into my future now, leaving school, I see that this is the start of the rest of my life and I think that's a good place to leave all the hurt behind.
Written in 2005 by Dawn Amy --- England, United Kingdom
Thank you xx keep smiling.. it really does help =)
June 15, 2005
"Tears are the words our heart can't say."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Sara B. --- Massachusetts
June 15, 2005
"When we realize how a frail and passing thing life is, our values come into sharp focus. In the awareness of the inevitability of death, it is easy to distinguish between what is truly important and what is of little moment."
Paul Huff
Submitted by Brad Boughman --- North Carolina
June 15, 2005
"Depending on God has made me to be INDEPENDENT on MAN , because depending on man causes discouragement and depending on God results in ENCOURAGEMENT."
Copyright © 2005 Faith Ndlovu
Life has taught me to depend and trust my creator. He is the one who made me and in his words he has said that he knows the plans that he has for me so that is why I trust in him. He will always encourage me and lift me up every time I fall.
June 15, 2005
"Always remember, "Depth of pain is inversely proportional to the rate at which you accept the facts". This means if you accept the facts at a faster rate, the depth of the pain is not that much. But, if you take more time to settle down so acceptance of the facts will be at slower rate, then the depth of pain that you experience is definitely to a greater extent."
Copyright © 2005 Priyanka D. Teredesai
This quote suggests that if you come across the facts that destroy your ideas or dreams, then the best way to tackle the situation is to accept them immediately and get over that time by planning for your future strategies. That's the way you feel less pain or almost no pain if you practice this.
June 15, 2005
"Can you look in my eyes and see.... see that I've cried a million tears... just for you? Let the pain flow through your heart.... and let the truth be told you can't change the past-- you can't change the future.... so let the pain and memories be made ...unforgettable."
Written in 2005 by Colleen C. --- New Jersey
For those who are going through a rough time, I thought this might help.
June 15, 2005
"They say when you lose someone you love, it will get easier with time.... I find it getting harder and harder every day. This pain I feel seems to never subside... carrying you with me... every step of the way."
Written in 2005 by Colleen C. --- New Jersey
I lost one of my best friends almost a year ago due to a car accident. I find it extremely hard to deal with, yet poems and quotes like these seem to help... For those who are going through a rough time as well... I hope this provides some support and understanding for you.
June 15, 2005
Nearly all of my life, people have come into my life for a season. It's always hard to know that after you say goodbye that one last time, it'll be for good most likely. What's worse than losing a friend? I can't think of any because any loss is hard especially when you don't get to say goodbye. I know, I didn't.
Almost two years ago now, my dad summoned my brother, sister and me for a family meeting. The look on my mom's face told me one thing, who did what this time and whatever it was it must be serious. It was much worse. The words, "Grammy's gone," told me all I needed to know.
Unexpectedly my grandma had suffered a heart attack in the early morning hours of September 29 2003 and went to Jesus all alone. She had called just the day before to wish my dad a happy birthday. She didn't seem herself. My sister had the worst reaction and everyone spent the next two hours completely in tears hugging and holding everyone, tissues reigned and phone calls were made. In minutes the entire family was notified and no less than a week later we were all bound to Hawaii for the funeral and family reunion.
My family has always been very close, very open and very emotional about everything. Gram knew that and she also knew that we wouldn't find time to have a family reunion. She was a powerful symbol in my family, a loving, warm, very generous matriarch, a fabulous grandmother and warm and caring mother and from the stories I've heard, a great friend.
I"ll always miss how her presence made Christmas that much better, how a hallmark greeting card with an aloha from her on my birthday brought a smile to my face. She did wonders for our family while she was here, I know she is healthy, happy, and rejoicing next to Jesus with her precious cats and dog.
Any loss is hard, just remember that they are in a better place and you will get to see them when it's your time to go home.
Copyright © 2005 Jennifer Wellsmore
Losing family is a very difficult thing to deal with. Crying and even being angry at what you can't control are normal reactions but not necessarily good. God is in control. His plan is what keeps us going all the time. As much as our hearts cry for them, they are always here. Someone mentioned in their comments earlier on the page that you should look next to you because they have been there the whole time. That's God, in front of you to stop you making a mistake, behind you to catch you when you fall, there to walk beside you as a friend, and my favorite, above you to guide and watch you all the days of your life.
June 15, 2005
"Pain is a gift that nobody wants."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Caleb Nyaranga --- Nyanza, Kenya
June 15, 2005
IN THE ROARING VORTEX
The Tsunami smeared fear on my tiny world,
I, a flautist, petrified as I try to play my flute.
Each nerve pathway, blocked completely,
I felt no pain at all; I was unable to move.
My music, drained into the howling vortex
And each melodious note shattered into pieces;
My arteries and veins lost their elasticity,
My crimson corpuscles melted one by one as their color faded.
The evil wind swept my joy to an unknown galaxy,
My tears began to trickle to each of my ribs,
Then soaked into my wailing aveoli.
I was in the heart of the Tsunami.
Copyright © 2005 Tri Tran
June 15, 2005
In Loving Memory of:
Shawn Walsh -3/16/05
David Grimes - 12/19/04
Lauren Zagorda
Recently two (2) of my classmates have died and our whole class has been devastated. Overall we have lost 3 friends. They were all wonderful and inspiring people and we will always miss them. One died during the summer after 6th grade from leukemia. Another died this year when he committed suicide. He was on the football & wrestling teams, and well liked. The last also died this year from leukemia. He was on the basketball team, and they won sectionals for him. He died on the night of their banquet. All three of this people are missed everyday and will not be forgotten. Please tell people what they mean to you before it is too late.
Written in 2005 by A.A.--- New York
June 15, 2005
In loving memory of Shawn Walsh
THE GAME OF LIFE, THE GAME OF BASKETBALL
HOW SIMILAR CAN THEY BE?
In the game of basketball, your opponent is known, is studied, is defended. Weaknesses are found and exploited. Your opponent does the same to you. Yet, they have no way to assess it. Do they have more or do you have more? It is settled out on the court, game after game. Even when you're down, you're not out. Comebacks are always possible.
Never underestimate inner fortitude. A good team can always draw deeper than their opponent. Deeper than even they themselves thought they could. Teams like this leave an unmistakable mark to which others can aspire. You find out that the opponent you are facing is not the other team, but indeed yourself. You have the ability to reach deep: deeper than you thought you could. Imposing your will, and as a result, look back on success. Dig deep. Play hard. Success will be yours on the court and in the game of life.
Written in 2005 by Stephen Walsh
Submitted by A.A. --- New York
Mr. Walsh wrote this while his son, Shawn, was in the hospital with leukemia and could not communicate while his basketball team was trying to win sectionals. Knowing that Shawn would want to send a message to the team, Mr. Walsh wrote this inspired by Shawn. The basketball team did win sectionals in Shawn's name, but unfortunately, Shawn died a few weeks later while his team was having their end of the year banquet.
June 15, 2005
"Martin Luther King once said that it is only when things are darkest that you can see the stars. No life event, no matter how negative, is ever wasted IF you look for what is meaningful."
Copyright © 2005 Sander I. Marcus, Ph.D.,
June 15, 2005
Once there was a young boy. His father was a drunk who beat his drug abusing mother and the young boy. He never realized the struggle to keep the family together. One day, the father never came home leaving nothing but his mother. The young boy grew up with nothing but a mother who was lost. The young boy grew up, with no self-esteem, no confidence but like everything, times pushed forward.
The young boy grew to be a young man and for some reason, out of his own strong will, he wouldn't let other people control who he was. He went on to play football, baseball and basketball. Quite an athlete he was, got A's and B's, didn't fall to peer pressure, how could he?
He finally knew who his family was and what rotated in their life, and these were things he would go on to beat because he knew what he didn't want. The young man took control of his future but fear still took a place in his heart, the fear that life ended with death. But he found religion on his own, and he realizes even now to this day, god will take him in his arms.
Now, if a young boy could grow up with such a bad starting position, and came out to what every parent could trust with their life...why can't everyone else?
Written in 2005 by Shane F., Age 16 --- Illinois
This is a story of me. I grew up with almost nothing to live off of, I came out to be exactly what most parents want from their kids, I'm finally realizing my accomplishments and I'm very proud of myself. God has pulled me through, he put me into a position where I could have thrown my life away, but I made something of it.
June 15, 2005
"You don't have to hold onto the pain to hold onto the memories."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Jay J., Age 18 --- NSW, Australia
June 15, 2005
Bring me a tomorrow
Bring me happiness with no hate
Bring a peaceful world that's forgiving
For our Angels to embrace
Listen to the voices
That our inner spirit brings
Listen till our heart is content
And allow our freedom to ring
Smile through the stresses
By assisting a person or two
Allow yourself to begin
Another day renewed
Know that you are not alone
As our tears fall together as the rain
And the storms became so heavy
That we felt the weight of pain
But when the weight is lifted
And the sun begins to rise
I will hold you close and whisper
I am the rainbow in the skies
For with every vibrant color
There is a gift each brings
To cloak you in our Love
"Love" is an amazing thing
Bring me a tomorrow
Bring me happiness with no hate
Bring a peaceful world that's forgiving
For our Angels to embrace
Copyright © 2005 Lori Foster
I was an abused child and endured the pain of an alcoholic father who has recently passed away. This poem is a dedication to him for Fathers Day.
March 18, 2005
In memory of my mother, Cathryne, our precious guardian angel.
MAY THE LADYBUGS BE WITH YOU
My mother went through 3 major battles with breast / bone cancer over the last 8 years and we released her to the loving light, last year. It is coming up to the anniversary date in April.
The first time mom found out she was sick, our patio in our house was swarmed with ladybugs of every different color and number of spots. Throughout her battle, oddly enough every time she was scared, a ladybug would stroll across the ring of her coffee cup, or one was doing laps around the toilet seat when she was sick from chemo …they would show up in strange places and always at a time when she needed some reassurance. When we were swarmed with them, no one else in the neighborhood had seen any at all. It was her special message that the spirit of comfort was near.
When mom passed, I would find a ladybug land on my shovel, in the garden, as I was in the middle of a meltdown…and I would remember her strength and courage. 7 months after mom passed away, I feared that I was just making these signs up in my head…ladybugs are just a part of summer…I thought…
But one day, I was feeling very sick and in a lot of pain. I was curled up on my bed and of course very emotional because I just wanted my mommy to comfort me, and she wasn't there. Something caught my eye on the ceiling; it was doing laps around my body over and over again. I figured it was a little house spider, and I was in too much pain to get up and "take care" of it. I fell asleep and when my husband came home and checked on me, I groggily asked him to flick on the light and "take care" of the spider that had been doing laps over my head.
He turned on the light , got up on the bed and said, "I don't think you want me to squish this one…" he picked it up on his finger and showed me a beautiful bright red ladybug! This is in October!!!! And I know that was a special sign that she was there, in spirit, reminding me that everything was going to be ok.
If you are in tune, you will see your "special sign". I pray that everyone who is hurting will be lead and cradled with comfort as they journey ahead.
REMEMBER:
"God put eyes in the front of your head so you can see where you're going, not where you've been"
Peace be with you always.
Copyright © 2005 Lisa Durante
March 18, 2005
"Life is an ocean of sorrows, with drops of happiness in it."
Copyright © 2004 Abhishek Mishra
March 18, 2005
These words were given to me right after my dad died two months ago. They will remain with me always:
"God saw he was getting tired and a cure was not to be, so he put his arms around him and whispered, "Come with Me." With tearful eyes we watched him, and saw him fade away. Although we loved him dearly, we could not make him stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands to rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best."
Author Unknown
Submitted by A.S. --- Kentucky
March 18, 2005
"Bad things just don't happen to break you down; they happen to break you down and build you up to be all that you were intended to be."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Zach M., Age 17 --- Colorado
This quote means a lot to me because it is my one and only ray of hope I will always have no matter how much farther my life goes down the tubes. My family has abandoned me, my best friend hates me, a friend of mine almost succeeded in trying to kill me, I just got robbed, I am heavily addicted to crystal meth and every step I take to make things better in my life only makes things worse.
It's been a rough past 3 years and this quote is my only ray of sunshine. This quote and the fact that I don't know what else to do are the only things that keep me going every day. I just hope that it helps somebody else in a time of need. If it helps you out, send Motivating Moments an email so I know that I at least have touched one other person's life and shared my ray of sunshine in a time of darkness for them.
March 18, 2005
You may think you're all alone, but you're not.
I am here. Let me help.
You may think no one understands you, but I do.
I am here. Let me help.
You may think your problem is so big and embarrassing, but it's not that bad.
I am here. Let me help you.
You may think you can't survive another day in this crazy world!!!
You need to just get away!!
But I am here.
We can run away together.
You may be asking yourself who is this person?
Just look next to you.... they're already there for you… it's a true friend!!
Written in 2005 by Angie G. .C., Age 15 --- Louisiana
March 18, 2005
"Don't ever let your horrible ordeals pull you down, on your path to greatness. Always remember that they must come to strengthen, test and remold you to be what you have been purposed to be, in life, by ALMIGHTY GOD. If you must succeed, then you must be tested and proven. That is exactly the mission your ordeals are meant to accomplish - to better you and soar you to the zenith of your ambition."
Written in 2005 by Martina Efua Barth
God bless. And to the wonderful Barth family members I say, "I'm glad to have been born into your fold. Keep flying high and always remember that success is all you have been destined to attain in Jesus name. Amen "
March 18, 2005
"Soon your deepest cuts and saddest woes will fade as a better light shines through a hole worth looking through."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Amy B., Age 14 --- Georgia
I was in a pretty bitter time where everything was putting me down and I didn't think life could be much worse. One of my friends saw my pain and decided to say this to me. I, of course, was in awe of this quote and I'll remember it forever!
March 18, 2005
A FIREMAN'S LAST GOODBYE
I have passed over to the other side of God's rainbow
Where I watch the angels fly
For I have a great vantage point
From my new home in the sky.
I offer God all my praise and glory,
For he has granted me his heavenly grace
Now, all my former earthly problems
Have simply vanished, without a trace.
I ask my loving family
That they not mourn too long and cry
And as you wipe away the tears
Try not to reason why????
For God in his infinite love and wisdom
Has His own timetable and master plan
And as time passes by
We will all better understand.
Now, I tip my cap and direct a kiss
To my loving family and best friends
I salute all my brave brother firefighters
Who served with me until the very end.
Now, I bid you all a fond and heartfelt last goodbye
From my new home in the sky
Where the saints and angels fly.
Copyright © 2005 Joseph P. Martino
Dedicated to all the brave firemen past and present, especially the hero fire fighters who lost their lives in the line of duty in order that we may live.
"The greatest legacy and inheritance an individual can leave to others is a life lived and remembered by fond memories of unselfish love, devotion and service to family and mankind."
Copyright © 2005 Joseph P. Martino
Dedicated to the memory of Ronald Regan
March 18, 2005
MOMMY
You were suppose to take care of me
You weren't suppose to leave
I thought you'd see your grandchildren,
Not leave me at 16
I cry every night
Wanting you to be there
And every day I come home from school
And I can't find you anywhere
Quite frankly mom, this sucks
I want you here so bad
I miss you more each day
And the memories we had
So many moments have been lost
Never will you see
Days such as prom or graduation
Or me as the homecoming queen
Mommy, I know you'd be so proud
And that only makes things worst
I work so hard for you
The sadness makes me burst
Somehow I'll find the strength
I will continue on
I won't fail you now
Even though you're gone
Mommy, I loved you then,
Now and all days
Even though I'm growing up, Mommy
I'll be your baby, always
Written in 2005 by N. B., Age 18 --- Arkansas
My mom died when I was 16 years old of complications after surgery. She was in the hospital in ICU for 3 months and my family finally had to make the decision to take her off life support. She was the one person who has been there for me throughout my whole life. My father isn't around much. I have a wonderful stepfather who I consider my dad, but no matter how wonderful he is, my mom will always be the most important person in my life. I'm in my senior year now and everyday it's hard to get up and face school without a mother to help me through. This has changed my life forever. I wrote this poem to express my feelings. I hope it might help other realize it's okay to get upset and be angry. I will miss and love my mother always.
March 18, 2005
When you lose someone don't be sad, although it hurts. Always remember that nothing happens without God's will. God is the one who loves us 70 times more than a mother, so how he will do any injustice to us? So how he will give us tears? Actually it's only our limited vision, which can't see, and we can't understand at that moment, like a ignorant child, how God will favor us. So SMILE and keep strong. Believe in God, because God is biggest in comparison to our wishes and if He wants, even miracles can happened in a second! Then how can He make us lonely? We are never alone because He is always with us. We have to find Him and make a friendship with Him. Only then we will realize how secure and happy we are! And you will find your way to this beautiful life.
Written in 2005 by Aysha Iftikhar --- Pakistan
Always trust in God and always be thankful to him even in your hardest times, because he is only super power. If he gives us tears, then he is the only authority for our happiness. Why take tensions for our future? It is always ours if God is with us!
March 18, 2005
One morning I was at my friend's house when I got a call saying that my best friend had passed away. The weird thing was I thought it was some idea of a joke and so I didn't really know what to say or do. I just sat there and cried and called my mom. Se said, "It's true. I just got of the phone with Alyssa's parents and they said she had hung herself in her closet."
It was horrible. She was my best friend in the whole world. I love her with all my heart and miss her dearly. It's been almost a year since its happened and I still remember all the good times that we had, not too many of the bad times, but needless to say it's been awhile she passed away on March 28, 2004.
I still think about her often and cry myself to sleep now and then. I find it hard to move on. I don't think that I will ever be able to move on....ever. She could make anyone smile or even laugh.
I remember this one time at the school dance. The song, "Hey Mamma", came on and we were laughing and dancing away. Of course we weren't very good at it, just joking around mainly, but it was all good because no one really cared. They just laughed about it and walked away.
All I can say is R.I.P My Babi Girl
I Love You and Think About You Often
I Will Never Forget You As Long as I Live -
AYSSA O.
Written by Chris C., Age 15
Suicide is not the way to go because there are many people out there that care for you.
March 18, 2005
IF YOU HAVE LOST A LOVE ONE....
Less than two months ago, I lost someone in my life who had been there for me since the day of my birth. She loved me so much, and I know that, but if only I could have said goodbye. She died of a heart attack unexpectedly. I can't even imagine living the rest of my life without her.
Sometimes, I just can't take it and I cry on my bed for hours. It just doesn't seem real that she is not here on earth anymore. Something that helps me is just to think about how much better she has it in heaven, rather than here on earth.
I realize how selfish I seem by feeling sorry for myself and crying for so long. If she were here now, she would be asking, "What on earth is all this fuss about?" She was the most selfless person I knew, and she was just like a saint. I believe now and I will believe forever that she is an angel sent from heaven.
Written in 2005 by B.C.--- British Columbia, Canada
Here is my advice if you have lost a loved one like I have.
Pray. Ask God to take care of him or her. Ask God if you may speak to her, as if your prayer is a telephone. Talk to her and tell her you miss her, but tell her you know she is much happier in heaven. Ask her to please help you overcome this heap and realize that it's better.
Rather than thinking of YOUR loss and what YOU are going to do because of this great loss, think of the memories and happy times. Think of how great she was. Think of the fact that the reason God took her from you is because he wanted her back home, because she is loved so much, because she is such an angel. I really hope this helps you, because I know it is helping me, and although I miss her very, very, very, very much, I know I will see her again someday in heaven.
March 18, 2005
She was 11, he was her best friend's father. He forced his way into her bubble. At 11, he touched her, he made her do things and he scared her. Her heart, warm and forgiving, she accepted the pleading apologies he gave her. He grabbed her when he tickled her and got her alone when he could. He did this for 3 years.
14 years old - he raped her. He grabbed her and watched her struggle for quite a while. She was kicking and screaming and crying. Her muscles were tired and hurting but she couldn't give up. 3 months later, she told the police. She was scared but knew she had to. It was a shock to everyone because her grades were fine and she acted happy. Within 8 months, 2 other girls came forward. 10 months after she revealed this secret, he pled guilty.
Now, 16 years old, she still has nightmares and can't stand someone joking about rape or molestation. But one thing is true; she is a stronger person and probably saved many other girls from this nightmare.
Written in 2005 by N.C., Age 16 --- Washington
This is a true story. I share this with you to give you hope. Lies, abuse, rape, anything at all...it all should be fessed up. You may be saving your life...or someone else's. Never underestimate the power of your words and your actions.
December 15, 2004
"As the hour candle's burning, I felt the soft caress as like a moonbeam on my face, that whispered,
'Remember Me'."
Copyright © 2003 Uwe D'Drose
This verse was written in response to my father's passing, and has helped a number of people
December 15, 2004
"We are all born to live, learn, laugh, listen, labor, love and leave."
Copyright © 2004 Jim Johnston
December 15, 2004
Do I accept and celebrate, Oh Lord?
Dear Lord,
Coach me on how to accept my burdens and carry them in Your Name. Teach me how to celebrate in anticipation of Your Divine Rainbow Promises and the Brighter Tomorrows you plan for me. Be at my side as I gather prose buds.
Remind me to study Ecc 11:7-8. Allow me, Oh Lord, to present the message in first person. "It is wonderful to be alive. If I live to be very old, let me rejoice in every day of life, but let me also remember that eternity is far longer, and that everything down here is futile in comparison."
In summary, Lord, I submit to Your Will. Oh that I would accept Your Help in carrying my crosses. And, Lord, laugh with me as I celebrate Your Precious Gift of Life each morning when I awaken.
Lord, shower Colorado Annie with Your Holy Peace and Joy.
Be with her in sadness and woes,
Walk with her wherever she goes.
Sing with her at cheerful hours-
When she gathers pretty flowers.
Copyright © 2004 Mary Ann Herman-Bogle
My cherished friend Annie in Colorado sent me a note recently and mentioned several profound things. Her faith and her personal chats with Our Lord are inspirational. That serious aspect aside, Annie has a FUN-derful sense of humor. She has a creative way of brightening my screen with her powerful light-hearted literary devices. She talks AND walks her faith. Annie is a pseudonym I created for her. She is sorta shy, ya know. She used two words in her latest letter...."ACCEPT and CELEBRATE"...Annie teaches me how to pluck joys from a garden of troubles.
Annie is one of the many angels in my world. What's more she is on a cherub team of sorts...they make angels at a hospice center. Thank You, Lord, for all the Annies (both genders of all ages) in my life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lord, that I keep learnin' from others
My offering is a tribute. I pause and remember Margaret Herman, bless her soul.
She DISproved the mother-in-law image of many stories floatin' around today. She taught me simple, but powerful lessons in love, patience, understanding, forgiveness, kindness, compassion and family loyalty. She gave me cooking tips. She shared some old fashioned techniques for minor around-the-house repairs.
In the early years of my marriage to her only son, she would gently offer her advice, always with a disclaimer, "You might think I'm not too smart, but...here's what I'd do....When I was your age - my mother-in-law tried to coach me on certain things and I thought she was wasting her time. Now, I'm passing on her ideas to you. They do work - if given close consideration."
She used to starch and iron her pillow cases...I'd laugh and she'd say, "They are easier to keep clean when you do that." I told her her son didn't want me to put onions in his food, and he kept tellin' me in the first months after our Honeymoon, 'It just doesn't taste like Mom's cookin'..." Finally I had a heart-to-heart chat with Mom (just the two of us...)...She listened to me and then said, "Ah, I had the same situation with your father-in-law....His mother told me...to chop the onions up fine and throw them in when he's not around..."
I did what she said and her son FINALLY told me, "Ymmm...this is great...just like Mom used to make." After several years passed I told him about my talk with his mother...He smiled...and agreed that onions do make a difference.
Mom Herman and I would occasionally go shoppin', out to lunch and visit friends while Daddy and Grandpa watched the boys.
Mom Herman and I would giggle like two school girls over silly jokes.
Gram Herman doted on her 5 grandsons....
Gram Herman had faith.
Gram Herman never ever criticized me.
When my son Joe prepared for marriage, I frantically called Mom Herman and begged her for help...I asked her the secrets of bein' a good mother-in-law. Taken aback she chuckled and said, "I don't know...but, you'll do O.K. Just use common sense and share your love."
Mom Herman looked for as many pleasant things as she could when she visited (with my aversion to housework...she had a tuff time, I'm sure) and would compliment me..."...Lunch was so tasty..." "..How do you manage to find time to sew lovely curtains?..." "You look so pretty today." If there were dirty dishes in the sink....and she noticed I had other tasks...she'd clean up those dishes and put them away...sayin', "This won't take long...and besides - you're busy."
One day just before I left for an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist (for allergy treatment)...she said, "My...you look so nice...I hope you have clean underwear on...God forbid you have an accident." I assured her I did...but also mentioned that ENT doctors didn't look at other body parts. How wrong I was...The doctor wanted to see my mid-section for possible rash...Later when I told Mom Herman...she smiled ...Did NOT add, "It's best to have clean underwear on...just to be prepared."
Mom Herman bragged about me when I wasn't around...word would get back to me and I'd marvel that she always told others the positive stuff ...never ever anything negative.
Mom Herman went to be with Our Lord on 11-11-86. She's gone from our midst, but she will never leave my heart. Thanks, Mom, for puttin' up with the likes of me. I was beyond blessed with the likes of you.
Dear Lord, help me to learn from others who are willing to teach me about life in Your Name. Remind me to remember the good stuff and to somehow improve on the bad stuff.
Before signin' off...allow me to share this...Jay ( my new husband) tells me about his mom...I wished I had had the chance to meet her...a fine Christian woman who loved her husband and family. She helped the needy whenever she could. She taught Jay manners from little on.
I thank both women....for the sons they had...and for the wonderful education they passed on. May their souls rest in peace and joy.
Copyright © 2004 Mary Ann Herman-Bogle
December 15, 2004
"Nobody has ever gone, as long as their soul remembers them."
Copyright © 2004 Johni Pangalila
December 15, 2004
"With bad todays, come better tomorrows."
Author Unknown
Submitted by A.S., Age 18 --- California
Very motivating, especially when you're at your worse
December 15, 2004
Well, I just sat here for about an hour looking at all these amazing stories and just balling my eyes out. All these touching stories inspired me to write something in here also.
Let's just start out by saying.. I'm 15 years old and I have one younger sister who is 13. My dad is a single parent--widowed actually. My mother died of stomach cancer when I was only 4 years old--making my sister only 2. At that time I didn't really know what was going on and never understood how much it would affect me in the long-run.
But now that I look back on it, I have lived an amazing life so far, and I am so thankful for everything I have. My dad is an amazing man and I admire and respect him so much. He has raised my sister and I for almost 11 years by himself now and just has done an incredible job.
When my mom passed away, my dad was in shock, he was so upset but he knew that he had two little girls that he still had to raise. I hear a lot of stories about fathers who leave their children or even mothers. I am so thankful that my dad stayed around and raised us. I know he misses my mom very much and so does my sister and I but we all work together as a family to get by every single day and though we go through many tough times, I could always go back to my family if I ever needed anything..support..love..or just someone to talk to.
Yeah, and sometimes I do cry myself to sleep or just start crying thinking about my mom, but it's okay. I've learned it's okay to cry. I know she's in heaven now looking down and watching over all of us.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm getting upset with God. But then I think, it's not God's fault. He put her on this Earth and she lived a great and wonderful life, but when he felt it was time for her to come home he took her. Unexpectedly. No one had ever thought of it. It just upsets me. It gets me thinking ..why does this have to happen to me and my family?
I just wish she was still here. Girls are really close to their moms and it's hard for me because I don't have one around. And I grew up without a mom, didn't get to do any girl things with my mom, never got to sit down and talk with my mom..she's gone, and I can't bring her back.
I remember when I was in about 3rd grade, the teacher made an assignment to make a Mother's Day gift for our moms. Of course, I couldn't do that. I just wanted to cry right there, but I walked up to the teacher and told her what was going on, and I ended up making a father's day card. But there's no other worse feeling in the world then having all your classmates staring at you and asking you all these questions .."Why aren't you making your mommy a card"? It's a horrible feeling, and that day is one day I will never forget.
There's one thing I can do though. I can pray to God and just remember she's in a wonderful place being the beautiful angel that she is, and I've got many pictures of her I can look at whenever I want to remember her.
There is something important I want to share with you that I have learned from this:
"Always be thankful for everything you have. Sometimes it doesn't seem like enough, but be grateful for it anyways."
I'm so thankful for having a wonderful father, sister, my best friends, and boyfriend. You guys are what keep me going everyday, and I love you all to death with all of my heart.
Written in 2004 by Amy G., Age 15 --- Ohio
December 15, 2004
"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Rubinelle B. --- California
December 15, 2004
"Strength to change the world comes through tears; cry baby."
Copyright © 2004 Hamish Cameron
December 15, 2004
Having a loved one commit suicide is the worst thing in the world. You have to live with knowing your friend chose to take their own life.
My friend commited sucide a little over a month ago. Sometimes I think I can't take it. I really don't know when I will ever get over this or if I will ever. Please if you are ever thinking about suicide, do not do it. Your friends and family will be grieving forever.
Written in 2004 by L.W., Age 16 --- Ohio
December 15, 2004
"You never truly know yourself until you see how you react to those around you."
Pastor Ron Schmitt, Philly, Pa.
Submitted by Doug Zeeff --- Florida
From a sermon given at Venice Bible Church on 12-5-2004
December 15, 2004
MY SWEET JESSIE BESSIE
My sweet Jessie Bessie,
What I wouldn't do to rewrite this life,
And I'd still have you
No child would get cancer and be taken away
I'd have you forever, until my last day
I tried to fight reality, but reality always wins
We were both so horribly cheated
Of the life that could have been
Time can never heal this wound so deep
This mountain before me is so very steep
I struggle each day
My climb to survive
My broken heart beats
I must be alive
Facing the world
When I'm crying inside
Has kept me at home
Just wanting to hide
I must be brave and go on,
I have no choice
What gives me the strength and the courage is
The sound of Zach's voice
Copyright © 2003 Karyn Pek
I wrote this poem a year after losing my beautiful 4yr old daughter to cancer. My son Zach has been my reason to survive.
December 15, 2004
"When you lose someone, you always think of what they would have done without you, while they are thinking in heaven of what you have done together."
Written in 2004 by Kati M., Age 14 --- Washington
December 15, 2004
I recently lost my Nan, just over a month ago. My Nana meant everything to me. Se brought me up, listened, gave advice but most of all she was always there no matter what. I loved my Nan and have no regrets, but I never got to say goodbye and so wrote this poem to help me through it; to see that there will be a better day. It may be weeks, it many be months, it may be years but one day there will be a better day.
I still cry every night as I kiss a picture of her and tell her I love her and goodnight. It may seem pathetic but it gets my through the day, talking to her in my mind as if she is here, no tears, no words, no hugs, no memories, no nothing will bring her back.
I wish it could but it can't and that's the one thing I don't want to accept. And as we near Christmas and I write cards and buy presents, I ask why each day, and imagine my first Christmas without her. It will be hard and I'm crying as I write this but as I said, one day will be a better day xxx
TO MY NUMBER ONE NAN X X X
All My Love Now And Forever, Dedicated To The Best Nanny In The Whole World. Love Dawny xxx
Many special moments you and I shared,
Knowing you were there, knowing that you cared.
Memories in my mind, memories in my heart,
We are still together, never to be apart.
I know you're near and feel your love,
I love you loads you knew I would.
Looking back and feeling sad,
But soon those moments will make me glad.
Grandpoppy was your love, your life,
You loved each other and your love was your sight.
We lost him eight long years ago,
But now you're together and your eyes are a-glow.
I know you're happy, but we are alone,
Feeling sorrow because you have left your home.
Your new place, up in the sky,
You both are angels, way up high.
Missing you and feeling numb,
Even the sky has lost the sun.
But one day soon I hope we'll see,
That what has happened was meant to be.
It seems so harsh and hurts deep inside,
Why, oh why did you leave our side?
The skies are dark, our lives are grey,
"It'll soon be better", you used to say.
But this time there's no familiar sound,
Of your voice so sweet, that echoed around.
I suppose it's time to say goodbye,
But it's just so hard, I refuse to try.
I have memories - unlike no other,
To me you were like a second mother.
The sky is clearing; the sun begins to shine,
The pain is easing and all seems fine.
But suddenly it's stormy again,
The sky is black, and it begins to rain.
I feel depressed and lonely too,
My only consolation is to think of you.
A thousand memories fill my mind,
A thousand thoughts, no one will find.
It feels like life has stopped in time,
But you are gone - to the sky to shine.
And so ends this poem from deep inside,
And hoping the pain will heal in time.
I loved you then and always will,
A hole in my heart, no one can fill.
Copyright © 2004 Dawn Ami (teen)
August 16, 2004
"Life is beautiful; but you've gotta see it…you've gotta find it, otherwise it can look the other way. You've got to find the beauty in life. That's all I can tell you about what beauty is…(pauses and contemplates)…Take what you've got, because 'maybe' you only get one?! "
Keith Richards
Submitted by S Heighwaya --- Essex, United Kingdom
This was the answer that Keith Richards (the hard living Rolling Stone) once gave an interviewer, to the question "What is beautiful?" Apparently Keith and his Dad didn't always see eye to eye, but towards the end of his father's life they made their peace. When his father was dying Keith was at his bedside and, just before he died, he looked at Keith, smiled and winked then closed his eyes. Keith later said that just that little gesture was enough to tell him that everything in life and death was ok, safe. It was like his father was being let into a wonderful secret, a secret that he wanted to share.
August 16, 2004
"Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size."
Mark Twain
August 16, 2004
"God put you here to do your best, and live your best and be your best, and when he's ready he'll call you home, now what better deal could you ask for?"
Robert Craig "Evel" Knievel
Submitted by Lenny Schmidt --- Iowa
August 16, 2004
SHOULD YOU GO FIRST
Should you go first and I remain to walk the road alone,
I'll live in memories' garden, dear, with happy days we've known,
In spring, I'll watch for roses red when fades the lilac blue,
In early fall when brown leaves call,
I'll catch a glimpse of you.
Should you go first and I remain for battles to be fought,
Each thing you've touched along the way will be a hallowed spot.
I'll hear your voice, I'll see your smile, though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand will buoy me on with hope.
Should you go first and I remain to finish with the scroll,
No lengthening shadows shall creep in to make this life seem droll.
We've known so much of happiness, we've had our cup of joy,
But memory is one gift of God that death cannot destroy.
Should you go first and I remain, one thing I'd have you do,
Walk slowly down that long, long path, for soon I'll follow you.
I want to know each step you take, that I may walk the same;
For some day down that lonely road, you'll hear me call your name.
Author Unknown
August 16, 2004
"God is closest to those with broken hearts."
Jewish Saying
August 16, 2004
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
Khalil Gibran
August 16, 2004
"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts."
Hopi
July 19, 2004
"One person can only do so much, but together we can make a difference."
Michael Cuccione
Submitted by Kyle Tiney --- British Columbia, Canada
This quote was written by Michael as he was battling cancer. Shortly thereafter trying to make a difference, he sadly passed away and is greatly missed. This quote is so true and numerous people have changed their prospective of life after pondering the works of Michael Cuccione. God bless you Michael, you're sadly missed.
July 19, 2004
"Things always get worse before they get better."
Said by Kelsey Black
Submitted by K.B., Age 16 --- South Dakota
Kelsey Black was 16 years old when she died last summer. She said these words to her sister only a week before she died in a car accident.
July 19, 2004
"As I walked toward the darkness, I realized it was only a reflection of my inner self, and my sole purpose became clear. I was to stay in this darkness, let it consume me, and help the others escape from this place which has trapped me for so long."
Copyright © 2004 Erienne Austin
Everyone comes to me with their problems because I have good ears. Maybe people feel like this, and don't have anyone to talk to.
July 19, 2004
"Wherever you go, whatever you do, the people above are watching over you!"
Written in 2004 by Jennifer V., Age 15 --- Ontario, Canada
My poppy and his wife (my step grandma) were killed in a car crash a couple of years ago. It was very hard for all of our family considering we have a very large family. When I was sad I would always say this quote to myself it made me feel better. I hope you people dealing with a death will feel better once you read this quote.
July 19, 2004
ADIEU
When the time comes by
And it's time to tell you this is not a lie
For me to say how much I cared
The memories we have been shared
To those who loved me so much
I thank you
For all the good times and bad times that I had here
Feel the beat of my heart; you will hear it clear,
The words "I love you" yes, it's true "I swear"
In time of your loneliness, I'll be near
Close your eyes, but do not cry
For life still goes on
Try to be happy all the time
Leaves falling from the trees,
Years will written upon the brows,
Everything will change,
Except me!
My story is over, and it comes to an end
Through the mystery path, I must go
I walk only by myself
But I will leave my heart knowing
You're so dear to me.
If quiescent conquered me,
It doesn't mean I am not here to stay
Just call me
Even though you can't touch nor see me
With the love you have given to me
I will live forever
Through night and day
Because you are remembering me.....
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
This is for those who are in great pain of losing someone so dear to them. Don't think that you lost them, they are there in your heart. For those people who loved me, I thank you
LOVE OF MY LIFE
I feel sorry for myself for I've learned to love you. I don't know why it was happen but it just happened and nobody could help it. Your ideas were enough for me to see myself in you. We were compatible and had something in common in so many ways. But it can't be because of the consequences we face with our families. This is the reason why I want to forget you.
I should not have loved you, but "Oh God," I always will. How I wish I had never met you, but I always wanted to see you. Avoiding my own feelings is hard for me to do because of the fact that I truly loved you. My unspoken feelings are like a knife tearing me apart. I kept smiling but I cried deep inside. You took the big part of my heart. Now I don't know how long can I go on if I'm alone through the night? Only your memory brings the light; here my heart feels like it will die whispering your name. "Please help me to survive...."
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
I will always love you...
A NIGHT TO REMEMBER
My heart ached that day when my grandma died, her memory still fresh here in my heart and mind. I used to weep every night before she died. I combed her long, curly, white hair and soothed her calloused hand. Her wrinkled face showed undeniable glows. How happy she was when I told her, "Grandma, I love you and I will take of you 'till I grow up. She touched my head and smiled. She called me, "my precious little one", and I saw tears in her eyes when she embraced me.
That night, I wanted to go out. I told Grandma but she told me to stay by her side. I was a little young lady then who longed for a party. I snuck out the back door and left her with my mother. When the party was over, my heart beat fast. I didn't understand. I ran rapidly towards her house. Seeing people all around, I went to search for her, only to find her lying in a casket, in peace.
If only... if only... If only I had listened to her and never left her that night, maybe, maybe, I would have made her last night happy. Grandma, you know I love you so. Wherever you are, all you've taught me will be with me forever. I promise that and I miss you so much.
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME HOME
The road I walk is too steep
There's so much to carry
And there's so much to worry.
Bruises and scars you will see
If you come close to me.
But the child within me, you cannot see
Because I hide it from the glamor of the city.
Natural essence of being me
I lost it in the world of society
Being clapped, being praised.
I've worked here, there and everywhere
Time swiftly so fast I don't care.
But now I am tired of busy street
I'm longing for peace,
This body of mine needs a rest
For a place I know it's the best.
They don't know I am a child at night
Living in a world all is fake.
It shows the reality unto my face,
In the mirror I see I cannot take.
I kneel down and cry,
For I know what's my prize?
Emptiness, loneliness deep inside
In myself I cannot deny.
In YOU I go and ask, why?
Why happiness I cannot find?
No matter what I do
I feel so blue,
Is it because I don't know YOU?
You make me see the things
I've never knew,
You make me feel so low,
You make me realize
I'm a little girl
Who needs to be love, and cherish by life.
Now I saw myself, running from the fields full of green,
Free from hatred, worries and pain,
For the love from YOU
I eternally gained.
Thank you Father for bringing me home again...
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
When you feel tired and feel so low, just go to HIM. He will guide you.
RAINBOW AFTER RAIN
Rain, I call when there's so much pain
Rain from heaven, an ache without a name
Rain, when you are falling and you can't explain
Rain, the tears that you give in
Rain, when you still remain unchanged.
Rainbow is what you see after rain,
Rainbow, if you open your heart, learn to let go,
Rainbow, if you let yourself fly without sorrow,
Rainbow is a hope, there's a life for tomorrow,
Rainbow, when you make your dreams come true,
Rainbow is the color of life you must continue
Rainbow is the smile that you show to all your love ones who care so much for you,
After rain, there is a rainbow, if you let it show......
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
WHEN SUNSET FALLS
Sunset begins to fall and same story has been told.
At the end of the road no one knows,
Only God can answer when your name will be called.
Trust him, he knows what's best for all.
The task He has given is not yet over
It's only the beginning of new phase of life.
You take cover; don't be afraid to travel,
For life by his side,
He offers his promise and will love you always.
Remember in his kingdom we will soon be all together.
We leave our loved ones behind
But their memories will be forever in our heart and mind.
Fill each day with love for every human being
As long as you have time,
Because a treasure you will find
He will open your eyes so that you will understand
It all happens for a reason,
Just trust him and his mighty hand.
Don't let your sorrow consumed your being
Because God created you to do something
If your hands and feet are not working
Maybe your tongue is capable for speaking?
God loves you so much,
He doesn't create you for nothing
So before the time of your leaving
Please accept him as your everlasting king
In His kingdom soon we will face him,
We know, in heaven he is waiting....
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
Don't waste your time doing nothing; life is too short.
July 19, 2004
"Memory is the only friend of grief."
Rumer Godden
July 19, 2004
"To a father, when a child dies, the future dies; to a child when a parent dies, the past dies."
Red Auerbach
July 19, 2004
"Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys."
Alphonse de Lamartine
May 17, 2004
I thought I saw your face today, in the sparkle of the morning sun.
And then I heard the angel say, "Their work on earth is done."
I thought I heard your voice today, then laugh your hearty laugh.
And then I heard the angel say, "There's peace dear one at last."
I thought I felt your touch today, in the breeze that rustled by.
And then I heard the angel say, "The spirit never dies."
I thought I saw my broken heart, in the crescent of the moon.
And then I heard the angel say, "The Lord is coming soon."
I thought that you had left me, for the stars so far above.
And then I heard the angel say, "They left you with their love."
I thought that I would miss you so, and never find my way.
And then I heard the angel say, "They're with you every day."
The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars, will forever be around,
Reminding you of the love you shared, and the peace they've finally found.
Author Unknown
Submitted by Kaylie T., Age 16 --- Arkansas.
Remember that even if a loved one is lost they will always be around you and remember that when you lose that special person God gains an angel.
May 17, 2004
When I close my eyes,
I was taken to a place of crystal mind.
There I see myself sitting alone,
Waiting for that person to come along.
I thought this was one of my fantasies,
But your impetuous befall changed it to reality.
I made myself crystal clear.
In this lonesome life,
I've known enough of trouble and rue.
I've had enough.
Wasn't anxious to face, neither verity nor falsity.
I often asked myself is it your befall,
That granted me sinew with eternal virtue
Or is it my weakness that changed my stance?
There was one way to unearth; I waited...
I waited for that response of yours.
It came along with those genial touches that toyed with my heart,
Not leaving a single nerve,
Letting it burn an eternal flame.
It came along with those jokes and jeers that made me giggle,
Even recalling yes, an everlasting laughter, yes...
And it is that zealous welcome that pleased me
To our life of togetherness and cohesion.
I closed my eyes, with fear, thinking that this is still a fantasy.
As I do, I am still taken to that place of crystal mind.
There I see myself thawing all the time
Relishing every moment spent with you
Thanking god that I have you in my life.
Copyright © 2004 Aminath Sharahath
I wrote this for that 'someone special....'
May 17, 2004
I was just sitting there with my sister when we got the call. The coolest, nicest, funniest guy had just died, but what we didn't know was how? Well later that night I got a call. I found out the how. The guy had hung himself. After I told my sister, she broke down. She was lost, but that was nothing compared to the next day.
I had promised myself that I wouldn't cry, that I would be a strong person for someone to cry on; to tell how they felt. But as soon as I saw one of my very good friends cry, I just couldn't stand it. I had to let it out and that whole day was spent grieving.
Well it has been a while since his death and I have grown as a person. I do not judge those and I now realize how precious life is - that you should never think of all the negatives but all the positives. And that once you reach the bottom, the only way is up.
All I have to say is, "If you have lost someone, don't think of it as death but life upon life. People make mistakes and they need to be forgiven because in the end, they might not be there in body but in spirit."
Rest in Peace, Zachariah
My friend, my brother, my guardian angel
Written in 2004 by Natasha C., Age 14 --- West Virginia
May 17, 2004
When darkness casts its deathly shadow upon this earth
And the day fades and the sea trembles below the moonlit skies
When the stars above burn bright with anger
That is when I am free from this world that has trapped me for so long
Copyright © 2004 Erienne Austin
May 17, 2004
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen
May 17, 2004
"What would you tell a close friend who is about to die? The only thing you can say that will offer the greatest comfort is to tell him that in his death a part of your dies and goes with him. Wherever he goes, you go also. He will not be alone."
Jiddu Krishnamurti
May 17, 2004
"God is closest to those with broken hearts."
Jewish Saying
May 17, 2004
"As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death."
Leonardo Da Vinci
May 17, 2004
"We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future. It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance."
Marcel Proust
APRIL 2004
"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die."
--- Thomas Campbell
April 19, 2004
LIFE AND DEATH
The sun's rays filter through the leaves to my small face
I sit there in my hidden little secret place
I think of all these bad happenings of his case
Leaning against this oak tree's solid trunk - its base
I wonder about the small child wrapped in lace
All I do is wait
I wait for the sun to rise
I wait for mothers' relieved, kind and gentle sighs
I ponder on why God does nothing - the babe dies
In desperation and distress the family cries
They wait for God to remove the terrible lies
Surely the young thing would be allowed to survive
Clearly the little baby ought to be alive
With his last strangled breath, that was the fatal dive
His brand new soul had been destined not to revive
And all because he had clutched that lethal beehive
Tears sting my eyes and I am happy for this day
I am alive, and I will never cease to say
As long as you are alive, life will be okay
There is always hope and always another way
Don't be scared and all evils will be kept at bay
Written by Anonymous, Age 12 --- Australia
I am sorry I can't reveal my name, too young to put it on the net; I wrote this in March 2004 when I was 12 1/2 and had moved from my home to another country and was trying to adjust to the very different culture and language.
April 19, 2004
"Life is too short so live it before it ends!"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Reyishie C.,--- AP, India
April 19, 2004
"Trust thyself; every heart vibrates to that iron string."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Submitted by Cara O'Brien --- Florida
April 19, 2004
Why has the world grown so cold?
Every time I speak no one hears me
And every time I move no one sees me.
I think of ending this misery,
And saving myself from this horrid life,
But I fear no one will notice when I'm gone.
I'm a lost little child
Yearning for someone's guidance,
But falling along the way and ending up in darkness
Which for some strange reason feels safe.
I don't know where to go from here.
I've been gone for so long,
Unable to find myself,
And afraid of what I might find when I do.
It's a bitter reality to be faced
With the fact that this world will be fine without me.
Sometimes I think if I wait long enough
Someone will catch a tiny glimpse of what I can do.
But those delusions are only dreams
Lost in a far off world.
My life is a cliché.
Everyone's heard my story
And passed me by like a pebble on a sandy beach.
My heart has been trampled over
Like grass in a field,
And never really been able to mend itself.
What is to become of this pathetic life?
I live in my world.
A world that would seem impossible to most people,
But just seems like routine for me.
I live in this world
But I fear I will be stuck here forever.
For each day the darkness casts another blanket
Over my cold body
And makes is unbearable for me to move.
One day the sun will shine
And melt away my cold, miserable heart.
But for now I wait in the darkness,
Watch it consume me, destroy me,
But live with the hope that one day
Things will change...and I will be free.
Written in 2004 by Erienne A., Age 18
Sometimes I feel like the world doesn't know I exist, but I live with the hope that things will change. This poem I wrote has helped me get through the rough times and I thought it would help other people as well; to let them know they are not the only ones in pain.
April 19, 2004
"
They are alive and well somewhere, the smallest sprout shows there is really no death."
George Washington Carver
April 19, 2004
"Death isn't easy to deal with, even when you weren't close to the person who died! But as a human, you hurt because you see the pain surrounding you!"
Written in 2004 by Brittney D., Age 15 --- Kentucky
Today I came to school and found out that a girl passed away last night! Even though I wasn't close to this girl, I still felt pain for everyone who was grieving. It isn't easy for me right now because I wish I knew why I feel so much pain, but I guess it's because I see the everlasting pain surrounding me.
April 19, 2004
THE STRANGER IN MY CLOTHES
Who is the stranger in my clothes?
The one who's hurting,
Who no one knows.
The person I live with day by day.
The stranger who won't go away.
The one who's angry,
The one who hates,
The one who the images annoy,
The one whose priority is to destroy.
Why won't they disappear,
All these Ghosts in the air?
What did I do, whom did I offend?
I'm scared; I don't want this to be my end.
When you look in the mirror
Who do you see?
Coz when I look,
I see a stranger who is not Me.
Copyright © 2004 Micky Sherwood
April 19, 2004
When she left, I cried;
No more pain, no more crying.
Why does Cancer have to exist?
She would still be here today,
With her family,
If she didn't have the terrible thing
Called "CANCER"!
Written in 2003 by Allyson H., Age 14 --- Illinois
I wrote this poem after my aunt died of cancer. My L.A. class was doing poems and I decided to write this one for my aunt. She had one of the worst cancers but she came stronger than anyone thought she would. I love my aunt and this poem is for her.
April 19, 2004
"The great paradox is that the mystery of death can teach us, here and now, how to fully appreciate and live life."
Copyright © 2004 Simon Heighwaya
I reckon that death can be our best friend and greatest teacher while we are alive. Knowing that we're not here forever should inspire us to enjoy the moment, to love. It should encourage us to loosen our grip on things and on life, to lighten up; to let go of our attachment to the past/expectations of the future. By contemplating the limited, uncertain time that we have we can really see how important it is to live NOW! To give, love, forgive, share, experience, laugh, learn, unlearn etc. before it's too late. In short, death helps us to remember what is essential in life and what's not!
April 19, 2004
"I would rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special."
Steel Magnolias (Julia Roberts)
Submitted by Sarah Hamby --- Georgia
April 19, 2004
"We laugh, we cry not knowing the half; to sigh, to smile knowing it all."
Copyright © 2003 Eveline Dashchi
March 15, 2004
MICKY'S HELL
Micky's not allowed on the truck
The rookie says 'Micky's lost it'
The only call the rookie has attended was a private fire alarm
And yep it was the toast again
Micky's been an ambulance officer for 15 years, 8 of them a fire fighter too
In 6 weeks Micky attended 5 major motor crashes, 4 were fatalities, 7 people died
Most on the scene 4 of them
Micky called the k41...death
They don't go away
Micky sees the fire fighter in uniform driving home from a course
The kid curled up in the back seat with no seat belt
The driver who died so quick he didn't have time to bleed
The old guy whose chest and face had nearly demolished the steering wheel
The mother of 3 little kids, children who now have to live without a mother
One in a wheel chair
The lady, pregnant with twins, who had a car land upside down on her head
Her son 6 years old,
Micky got him out
Micky worked real hard but he was just too badly hurt
Micky's never spewed at a crash, well not till that day
Two days later Micky looked after a best mate, he had cancer; he died 5 days later
Micky told him 'Micky would be there',
Micky kept the promise
He would have listened; he would have kicked
Micky's butt and made it ok
Micky's alone now
Micky seems real good at upsetting people, hurting people, losing friends
Micky's dead, wants to die, and wants the pain to go away
What pain?
Micky doesn't feel anything
Well maybe anger and hate and frustration
Micky wants it to be like it was before
Micky was up for promotion, that won't happen, not now
Micky wants to get on the truck
Maybe then things can be normal
Micky's not allowed on the truck
I AM MICKY
Copyright © 2004 Micky Sherwood
This is a poem by me. I can't explain how/why it's so important. I realize it may be too much for some people but can't apologize for that for probably the same weird type reason I sorta need to let heaps of people know this: I AM A FIRE FIGHTER.
March 15, 2004
"So many MEMORIES, so little TIME!"
Stephen Andrew Steiner
Submitted by Elizabeth M., Age 15 --- Ohio
Ricky Matter, one of the nicest kids one could know, died in a car crash on Valentine's Day, 2004. He was a freshman at our high school and only 15. Our whole entire school spent today grieving for his loss, and the funeral is tomorrow. This quote reminded me of Ricky.
March 15, 2004
"They say that God takes away the things that are held most sacred to us in order for you not to take things for granted. I hate to be the one to break it to him, but he's not taking you away from me."
Copyright © 2004 Mathew Ravelo
March 15, 2004
"In the morning, the sun's gonna shine.!"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Cassie H., Age 16 --- Arkansas
I submitted this because there have been days when I never thought I would go on. Then I remembered this quote. And every new day brings a chance to change the things that have happened. Just remember, no matter what, you can wake up refreshed and forget the bad. Always remember you are never alone, God is here for you!
March 15, 2004
"What you do in life does not define you, how you do it does."
Written in 2004 by F. Williamson --- South Carolina
March 15, 2004
"I don't want to die, obviously, but really, the wonder of life is amplified by the fact that it ends. If it went on forever, it would be such a tiresome thing and we'd all be so bored: What are we gonna do today? Just live again, I suppose."
David J. Matthews
Submitted by Doug L., Age 16 --- New York
This quote always helps me see the brighter side of things, no matter how dark they may seem. I hope that it helps others in the same way it has helped me.
March 15, 2004
"Go ahead and commit suicide....but before you do, think about all the people that you hurt..not just yourself and your own pain. You will be hurting friends and everyone that loves you, even if you don't know that they do."
Written in 2004 by Tyren M., Age 13 --- Texas
I wrote this for a friend who had been thinking of suicide. I finally got pissed at her for even thinking about committing suicide and wrote this to her. She says she thinks about it every time she thinks about committing suicide and that it helped her.
March 15, 2004
"My heart fell and broke, the shards, cut my hands and my soul drips. I am not fazed by the loss of my soul but I am in preparation to start living again, only after this time in my life has become tired out and faded. I am ready to start healing and to try and move on."
Copyright © 2004 Jessie Morgan
When you find you are struggling so hard to survive and you don't want to take another breath because the pain is too great, you must be patient. This time in your life will make you stronger and help you grow. Then you can start to heal and let go of this chapter in your life, but it wasn't wasted, because you learned from it, and are stronger than ever.
March 15, 2004
"When we are going through dark times, we are better able to let go of egotism and arrogance. Difficulties can help us grow in patience, understanding, and humility; they can help us seek out meaningful connection."
Lama Surya Das
Submitted by Giselle H., Age 17 --- Illinois
March 15, 2004
I was sitting at home in my living and my mom got a phone call. When she got off she said," Zack is dead." I didn't know whether or not to believe her. Zack was the coolest guy I knew. I was in shock, I went upstairs and then my sister got a call. She told me that Zack hung himself. I lost it. I broke down and cried all night. The next day of school was worse. People were all sad, but still I felt like they didn't understand I loved Zack. That week, when I was at his viewing it hit me, he was actually gone and that was my last time to ever see him, EVER.
It has been 6 months since he has passed away and I have a feeling I'm going to miss him for the rest of my life. But every night before I go to bed, I close my eyes and think of his perfect smile, his great personality, and the great things we did together. Life will go on, but it may not feel like it now. I loved Zack, he was a great friend, but the memories will live in me for the rest of my life. The best thing to do is to remember the good not the bad; it really does work.
Written in 2004 by Amy S., Age 13 --- West Virginia
March 15, 2004
"Grief is a journey through pain that takes you back to the joy of love."
Copyright © 2003 Sally Scott
FEBRUARY 2004
February 16, 2004
"Sometimes God just throws one of those big roadblocks in your way and it totally ruins everything. It's kinda hard, sometimes, to believe that those roadblocks actually have a reason for being there. For all you know, it coulda saved you from driving off a cliff."
Written in 2003 by Brittany M., Age 14 --- Texas
I came up with this quote to help motivate myself through a hard time in my life. This quote also helped to motivate my best friend through some tough times in her life and I hope it will do the same for others that read it.
February 16, 2004
About a year ago, my dad committed suicide. I remember how it went exactly. I should; it's gone through my head every day since it happened.
I was at school. The principal came and got me out of first period and brought me down to the office. She told me to sit in a chair and wait for her. But I, acting out, got up and went to talk to a friend. I heard the door open and a familiar voice saying, "Amanda, Dad is dead."
I turned around so fast and saw that it was my brother. I fell to the ground devastated. Our principal came running out of her office because she had heard me screaming. She said to my brother, "Jeremy! She wasn't supposed to find out like this." I wasn't allowed to go with my family or anything. The principal put me in the office and started saying over and over, "Amanda, it's not your fault." I couldn't hear what she was saying. My head had so many things going through it.
My caseworker came to get me and took me to the Foster Care office. All I wanted to do was ask a question. I didn't know what had happened other than that my dad had shot himself and that my brother found him.
The night before my dad and I had a big fight. I remember him saying, "Amanda, I love you and I'm sorry. Don't do this." I told the cops about all the things that had been going on in my house; drugs, rape, and etc. No one should have to put with that. There is a point where you have to draw the line.
I wanted to just go home and hope that things would change, but there had been 16 years of, "I'm sorry, and I love you, I promise I will change." I finally had enough and had to tell someone. I remember saying, "No dad, I hate you!!"
The next day at school after I found out what happened and went to the Foster Care office, all my friends at school got permission from the principal and came to the office and sat outside, hoping they could see me or talk to me. Even though they couldn't see me or talk to me, they still sat out there all day. That made me so happy. I still wish I could of said. "Goodbye, I love you dad." But still, you have to know when to say NO!!
Written in 2004 by Amanda G., Age 17 --- Arkansas
February 16, 2004
"Life happens, death happens, and we learn to move on. But only God can heal the hurts that both life and death have caused."
Written in 2004 by Lauren B., Age 16 --- Louisiana
At my school, in the past 3 years, 12 people have either died of natural reasons, been in car accidents, or they have been murdered. Two weeks ago, 2 of the 12 died three days apart; one was in a car accident and one was murdered. A lot of people were having problems dealing with it, and I was trying to think of some kinda advice to give when this quote came to my head. God is the only one who knows all the answers and he's the only one who we can really lean on when something like that happens.
February 16, 2004
"Forget the pain. Instead cherish the good times you had!"
Copyright © 2003 Emily Jackson
I wrote this to help me through my cousin's death. He died in a car accident.
February 16, 2004
"I really want to thank you for the greatest moments, emotions, and life experiences of my 22 years of life. I couldn't of asked for a more beautiful and perfect companion to share those moments with in my whole existence. You are the light for my fire, the rose in my garden, the queen to my throne, the inspiration of my dreams, and the touch of the warm ocean breeze that keeps blowing ......overwhelming my senses of eternal bliss. I wish you freedom from the dungeon that our hearts dwell in. No one should ever have to suffer how we shall suffer these enduring times and hopeful doubts of unity. I must someday realize the truth that I will refuse to believe until I lie in the cold ground, shall we not utter the words, but be........we shall someday in destiny be...... Thank you more than you could ever know, I love you eternally without hesitation, but devotion to the greatest woman in my life to bring the purest emotions from my heart..........Thank you"
Copyright © 2003 Mark Fairchild
For anyone who has been deployed overseas, away from their loved ones. Time and family are the only two things you can't get back in life. If you have time or family enjoy them because you may never have them again.
February 16, 2004
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?"
Kahlil Gibran
February 16, 2004
"On a day of burial there is no perspective--for space itself is annihilated. Your dead friend is still a fragmentary being. The day you bury him is a day of chores and crowds, of hands false or true to be shaken, of the immediate cares of mourning. The dead friend will not really die until tomorrow, when silence is round you again. Then he will show himself complete, as he was--to tear himself away, as he was, from the substantial you. Only then will you cry out because of him who is leaving and whom you cannot detain."
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
February 16, 2004
"Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; God doesn't fill it, but on the contrary, keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain."
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
February 16, 2004
"Death and sorrow will be the companions of our journey; hardship our garment; constancy and valor our only shield. We must be united, we must be undaunted, we must be inflexible."
Winston Churchill
JANUARY 2004
January 19, 2004
IF ONLY I COULD..
If I could make you listen,
I would tell you my story.
If I could build you a town,
I would build it so no one would get hurt.
If I could write you a story,
It would be a perfect fairy tale.
If I could make it all go away,
I would hold you forever.
If only I could.
Copyright © 2003 Erin McCracken
I wrote this for my friend while she was going through a rough time in her life
January 19, 2004
"Someone was hurt before you; wronged before you; beaten before you; humiliated before you; raped before you; yet, someone SURVIVED."
Maya Angelou
JANUARY 11TH
I woke up thinking that it was going to be just another day,
boy was I wrong.
My grandpa was in the hospital because he was sick,
no big deal he'll get better,
he always did.
About nine that night everything was about to change,
that little people knew.
We were are around visiting him about to go home
and come back tomorrow.
Earlier while sitting next to him holding his hand tight
not ever wanting to let go,
I realized something I never wanted to realize.
I was losing him.
So I held tighter,
Thinking that he couldn't leave me if,
I kept holding on to him.
Every time I looked at him I saw pain,
I didn't want my grandpa to be in pain anymore,
but I wasn't ready for him to leave me.
While with him I felt relief around me,
I looked up and knew,
I lost him.
I cried for days,
Not knowing how to live,
couldn't sleep,
couldn't eat,
couldn't do anything.
We were so close,
and God do I miss him everyday.
I was always told that pain would heal with time,
but every time that I had a moment that I want to share with him I can't.
I look around and I can't find him.
I still cry when I think of him,
and these Holidays don't help.
It will be one year this January,
and I'm missing and hurting just as much as the day..
I lost him.
I'm trying to go on with my daily life,
but something will happen and remind me of him,
and I'll fall apart and have to start over,
getting over my grandpa's death.
Sometimes I can go without crying and living a normal life,
but then I remember, and I want him to always know,
That I love him and I'm missing him everyday and
nothing would or could ever change that.
I miss you Grandpa.
Written in 2004 by Jenny
January 19, 2004
"Death is only the moment between two lives; the concrete one and the abstract one." Written in 2003 by Noha K., Age 17 --- Ontario, Canada
January 19, 2004
"Tears are the silent language of grief."
Voltaire
January 19, 2004
"Sadness is but a wall between two gardens."
Kahlil Gibran
January 19, 2004
TO THOSE I LOVE
If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way,
grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk
of me as if I were beside you there.
(I'd come-I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or
see a bird I loved,
please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still
to do-
so many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear-
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see Beyond...
But this I know:
I loved you so-
'twas heaven here with you!
Isla Paschal Richardson
December 15, 2003
BECAUSE OF YOU
Because of You I cried today,
Because of You I prayed.
Because of You I cursed my God;
Because He took you away.
Yet I know in fact it wasn't Him,
That let you suffer so.
A God of love and a perfect world,
Would have never let you go.
But Nature is cruel with a streak of mean,
That knows no bounds of age.
She takes the good as well as the bad,
In peace and in fits of rage.
I've seen Her destroy a thousand lives,
With a single swipe of Her glove.
I've watched Her take the only man,
That my Mother had ever loved.
But God is blameless;
He can't listen to some, ignoring the plea of others.
How could He act on all of our prayers,
Not thinking of His own Blessed Mother.
We've leaned too heavily on spiritual beliefs;
Our thinking must take a new course.
Luck of the draw, right place wrong time,
We are subject to Natural force.
So pray if you must and hope if you will,
But those who surround us are it.
Given to us through fortune and fate,
This may be all that we get.
Because of You my children were held,
And spoke of how much I loved them.
Because of You I kissed my wife,
Knowing my vows were solemn.
Because of You I'll take each day,
Make the most of what it can be.
Because of You I'll try to discover,
The goodness in those nearest me.
Because of You I cried today,
For all of those who have gone.
For all the things I never did say,
I pray that we meet beyond.
Copyright © 2003 Thomas R. Fonio
This poem was written when Eric,a young man who grew up with my daughters, died a year ago this month of cancer at the age of 17. Eric was an outstanding kid with a bright life to look forward to. The poem was my way of reconciling with just how unfair life is.
December 15, 2003
"The more you think of those who once were present, but now gone, the more they are with you in the future..."
Copyright © 2003 Huong Nguyen
I cry because no one cares.
I cry because backs are turned on me.
I cry for I'm left speaking to myself.
I cry because pain is endured on me constantly.
I cry and know it gets me nowhere.
Yet, I continue and make stops in between,
For the world don't stop to turn, even if I start to cry...
It keeps moving, so I keep moving;
My only reason not to cry
Copyright © 2003 Huong Nguyen
December 15, 2003
It was Friday May 16th of our 8th grade year. The school bell rang and our halls were filled with students. I got my stuff and went to my friends locker. A group of us all were going to the movies later, after school. On our way to the movies, in the middle of our laughter, we noticed an accident. Our laughing turned to silence.
Where the accident had taken place was right out side of two of our friends, Brian and Doug. We all told each other how when we got to the movies we would call Doug to find out what happened. We arrived at the movies and a guy we were meeting there told us a car had hit Doug.
A lump soon grew in my throat, a tear formed. Everyone was speechless. When I got home from the movies I got online right away to ask my friends if they knew anything. I got news that it wasn't good. I heard a couple different stories, but all leading to Doug being in very bad condition.
One of my friends called and said we were all meeting at someone's house. My mom drove me there and I found all my friends there crying and the parents looking concerned. I made my way to the back of the room with some of my closer friends, and we started talking.
In the middle of my best friend saying, "Doug's too strong for anything to happen," two moms walked in and said these exact words, "We're sorry, but Doug didn't make it".
The room was filled with screams and tears flowing from our eyes. My heart had stopped and I fell to the floor. This news was unbearable. Everyone there cried for at least two hours. At midnight we all went outside with our tears slowing, and said some prayers.
That next Saturday, the gym to our school was opened and we all met there to grieve together. It was very hard to see Doug's locker with flowers and poems all over it. Posters on the walls saying, "Rest in peace".
The day was filled with hugging, crying, listening and comforting. Before everyone left, we signed balloons and let them go. I walked away from that parking lot knowing that I would never see Doug again, knowing I've never felt so hurt, knowing it will take time to get through this and knowing I'll never forget him.
Doug is still remembered for his outgoing personality, his ever so bright smile and his loving heart. We all miss you Doug, and the Class of 2007 will never forget.
Copyright © 2003 Molly Clark
December 15, 2003
"I've kept it a secret too long; I'm letting everyone know. I don't care if it hurts you, it will only make me feel better. I never thought of it as abuse, until now. I'm not stupid; I knew what you were doing. Trying to hide it from me, but it always ended up fired at me. You always had your excuses, and you always had a lie. Too bad they didn't work, I could see right through you and the bottle of liquor. You hated me; you hated me because I had a reason to hate you." Sent in by E.M., Age 14 --- Virginia
My father was- still is a bad alcoholic. He was always angry, and yelling at my brothers and me. One of my brothers ended up in a drug rehab, and the other isn't doing so well. I'm lucky I didn't start those things, considering how much I had and still have bottled up inside. Writing down my feelings was a great replacement for not expressing my feelings to people.
November 17, 2003
TODAY MATTERS
It's amazing how quickly life can change. One day, I was a member of a happy, thriving family; then, within four months, my sister and I lost half our family members. After Dad died eleven years ago, our mom had a difficult time dealing with loneliness. She lost weight, her health declined, and she wasn't sleeping very well. On the advice of my friend, Leo Buscaglia, I spoke with my mother about selling the house and moving into a high-rise community for seniors. I explained that she would be with her own peers, people with whom she could connect. She agreed.
Within a few months, my mom's attitude and health changed-for the better. Whenever we visited, she was anxious to tell us about her new friends and all the activities in which she participated. Sharing with others brought her healing and helped her to survive the loss of her husband.
About five years ago, Mom had to have open-heart surgery, which she underwent with no complications. Life was great-until September 30, 2001. While on vacation, my sister, Ann, and her husband, John, were getting ready to attend Sunday services at a nearby church. John told my sister to get the elevator, and he would be right with her. While waiting at the elevator, wondering what was taking John so long, my sister watched a crew of paramedics run down the hall. When she asked one of the housekeeping staff what was happening, she was told, "Oh, I think the young man in room 464 had a heart attack."
Ann screamed. Room 464 was their room. Ann ran to the room, but things didn't look good. The paramedics were working hard to save John's life, but he wasn't responding. They took John in an ambulance to the local emergency room, continuing to work on him the whole way. Finally, my sister heard these words from the doctor: "I'm sorry, but your husband is dead."
After picking up Mom, we drove my sister home. We made it through the next few days because of the warm support of friends and our many prayers, and Ann invited our mom to come live with her. Having no children, Ann had extra room, and she and Mom got along so well, like best friends.
We moved Mom in with my sister in the middle of October, and life returned to normal-that is, as normal as was possible. When things come apart, they do come back together slowly, but never as they were before. Death never leaves you as it finds you; it changes your perspective, forcing you to realize how temporary everything is in life.
After her husband passed away, Ann taught me a lesson about death. "That was our last vacation together," she said. "It was our last dinner, our last laugh, our last kiss and hug. Fifty-one years old, and John is dead. I wish I had known it would be the last time I would see him."
Death does that-challenges us not to take each other for granted, reminds us to say "I love you" right now. Show your loved ones how much you care with a hug or a kiss-now. At the funeral home, it will be too late.
We made it through the holidays that year, and then, on January 1, 2002, my sister called me to tell me she'd had to take Mom to the hospital. She'd been having difficultly breathing. When I arrived at the emergency room, our family doctor told me things didn't look good. Mom's heart was enlarged, and a valve was leaking, which had sent her into heart failure. The only solution would be a heart valve replacement, which was risky because her heart muscle wasn't strong.
We sat with her in her hospital room and talked about her options. She decided to have the surgery. She couldn't go on like this, and she thought the surgery would improve the quality of her life. She was scheduled for surgery the following Wednesday. That morning, my sister kissed my mom before she left for the surgery, saying, "I'll see you in a few hours."
On the way down to the Operating Room, I could see tears rolling down Mom's face. She held my hand tightly and smiled. When we arrived at the OR, I prayed and gave her a kiss. She pulled me forward and said, "No matter what happens to me, Joe, please take care of your sister." I told her I would. She squeezed my hand and smiled.
A priest for over twenty years, I've spent time with many people who were dying. On their deathbeds, people never say, "Take care of my stocks and bonds. Take care of my house and car." No, their last thoughts are about the people in their lives: "Take care of your mother…look in on your father and make sure he eats…take care of your sister."
The doctors were running late that day, so it wasn't until 8:30 in the evening that the nurse came and said, "Father, would you and your sister please come with me? The doctor wants to speak with you."
With all sorts of thoughts racing through my mind, we followed the nurse to a private area. The doctor who had performed Mom's surgery five years ago came out and said, "I'm sorry. Your mom's heart stopped, and it just won't start again. We did everything we could. I'm so sorry." I grabbed my sister, and we stood there in absolute shock, both of us thinking the same thing: "Is this a bad dream?"
Death has an unreality about it. You think you're going to wake up and everything is going to be as it was before, but it just isn't true. Death is final. After about an hour, we were able to go into the recovery room and see our mom. My sister rested her head on our mom's chest and began to cry, saying, "Mommy, please wake up. Talk to me, Mommy. Please, Mommy, please Mommy, wake up." After some time, I hugged my sister, and then I hugged Mom, and we left the hospital like two walking zombies.
In a few months, it will be two years since John and Mom died, and life is moving along. I'm continuing to minister as a priest, and my sister is working as a nurse's aide at a local nursing home. We learned that life can be messy at times and that, without those we love, death can make our lives feel empty. Yet we also learned how valuable we are to one another and how wrong it is to miss any opportunity to express your love. More than anything else, Ann and I both wished we'd said goodbye to Mom. Although I know I will see Dad, John and Mom again, death still hurts. It robs us of memories, leaving us to crave more time with our loved one-just one more day, another hour, a few more minutes.
Death opens our eyes, showing us that the only time that matters is right now. Death teaches us a simple lesson: Forget about yesterday-it's over-and tomorrow may never come, but we haven't seen today before, so live it as well as you possibly can. Stop putting things off. The only people who should be afraid of death are those who haven't lived, those who say, "I'll do it when I get around to it," "I tell him I love him tomorrow."
If you don't live today, your "tomorrows" will to run out. Live life now, tell people now, when their eyes are open, "I love you." Tomorrow it might be too late.
Copyright © 2003 Joseph Sica
A storyteller and motivational speaker, (Father) Joe Sica is a priest from Pennsylvania
November 17, 2003
There was once a wild rose who grew on his own...he was beautiful but proud so friends he never found... there was an acorn too...hard and ugly...but he befriended every lone that he could see... so when the grueling winter arrived... the rose wished he had befriended the winter's might... but none came to save him at that time...stalk and thorn was all that was left in no time...and the acorn lived in peace and ease...but one day he too had to leave...and then every one could recognize... what seemed hard and ugly from outside...had always carried seeds inside.... Alas while running after roses in our life... we are unable to see all the friendly acorns lying across...carrying seeds inside...not leaving us with thorns at the arrival of the punishing winter...so gather all the acorns while you can...for even when they go...they leave seeds for new trees...trees that carry...loads of new acorns.
Copyright © 2003 Mian Talha --- NWFP, Pakistan
November 17, 2003
"Lord, give me the grace to ACCEPT all that you give, and to GIVE all that YOU TAKE with a big smile. Amen."
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Submitted by Julie Feliciano --- Philippines
[I heard this prayer from EWTN's Mother Angelica, it is a quote from a prayer of Mother Teresa of Calcutta, who was beatified by the Pope on October 19th, 2003, and it so impressed me, because it is the an effective way by which we can resign ourselves to the will of God - a kind of letting go, and letting God]. I hope a reader or two will find consolation in this prayer, and in incorporating it in their life, find both happiness and peace.
November 17, 2003
JUSTIN AND HIS MOMMY
When I found out I was pregnant 10 years ago I was overjoyed. I couldn't wait to be a mommy again. In my 8th week I began to bleed so the doctor did all kinds of tests and detected placenta previa. At this point I began to get scared because he told me in all probability I wouldn't go to term without a caesarean section.
I tried to remain positive, thinking I would make it to 36 weeks, but the more I bled and the more blood I lost eventually I ended up in the hospital. At this point I was 24 weeks along. I required blood to replace what was lost and then I was sent home with a device to administer IV meds for preterm labor.
The second night I was home from the hospital I began cramping yet again and so I tried to use the meds to stop the cramping. The next morning I woke up, still with cramps and contractions, and got my preschooler off to school.
As I went to the bathroom, my cord came out, so I knew what this meant. I hurried to the doctor and he tried to get fetal heart tones, but to no avail. I was sent to labor and delivery to deliver my son. After he was delivered, I got to hold my son. We named him and said our goodbyes.
I will never forget this day it was October 30th, 1992, mischief night, but I know in my heart my angel is looking down on his mommy and daddy, taking care of us. He is and always will be my angel from above.
Written in 2003 by Samantha
How I cope:
It has been a tough ten years but slowly I've dealt with the loss thanks to the Internet and the chance to make memorials like this. I feel in some small way I can remember my loss in this way. I also would love to start an online support group for parents that have also had this type of loss. It's not much but it's something and together we can all share and deal with our losses. Thanks again for entering my world.
November 17, 2003
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming GRIEF, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
Washington Irving
November 17, 2003
In memory of Connie
Beloved sister, playmate and friend.
MY SISTER'S BIBLE
In my hands I hold a Bible.
It was once my sister's book.
It was sent me by her children
With love, I opened it and looked.
As I turned the thin worn pages
I felt her warm presence near.
She led me to the passages
That to her were very dear.
As I read the words she underlined;
Tears filled my eyes so much....
I could scarcely see the scriptures,
But I felt my sister's touch.
Gentle hands that held this Bible
Held to mine through out our days.
From childhood till the day she left...
She taught me her gentle ways.
I still feel her right beside me
When I pick her Bible up.
I hear my sister's gentle voice,
Saying, "Drink From Heavens Cup."
"Open up this Bible sister.
Read; what I have lined with care.
If you cannot find your way dear...
My hands will lead you there."
I thank God for you dear sister.
I want to walk the path you trod.
Hold closely to my hand and heart...
While I come nearer to my God.
Copyright © 2002 Carol Bouche' Ottlinger
November 17, 2003
"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."
Kahlil Gibran
"Maybe I found you only to lose you?"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Abraham Yesu Prakash --- Bangalore, India
This line is dedicated for my love ( baby Pumpkin ) for she was the one who inspired me to live my life. Unfortunately she is not here with me. I miss her till my last breath.
October 15, 2003
I believe that there are angels put on this earth that help you through your rough times and to light your way through good times. In the past month I believe that I have met two of the angels that were sent here for me. Going off to college with such a difficult life before me, not having anything that was familiar to me was hard.
My dad has passed away, I've been raped, I've had friends die, and I've been battling an eating disorder. For me to not have friends would be hard!! Then I met two angels who understand what looking into someone and healing pain is all about. I feel very fortunate to have them here with me!
Written by Tiffany D., Age 18 --- Ohio
October 15, 2003
Here is a little dedication to my favorite cousin, who was sexually abused and in the end she turned to suicide as an alternative. I too was sexually abused and am now on a mission to advocate for better community understanding... Hope this will help others from following my cousin's fate.
"WITH LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING"
For twenty six years you kept your silence,
Because you were also struggling with abuse of violence.
Not a soul suspected the pain you hid so well,
As you put the welfare of others before yourself,
Till one day it took its toll,
Sad to say you ended it all.
I found your writings, how sad to read your plight,
My poor cousin, alone in your fight.
If only I had an inkling or you had given me a clue,
I would have been there in a flash for you,
Just to hug or hold you tight,
To settle you down, till you felt all right.
If only you knew that I too share the same pain,
That half of my life, I have carried my shame,
But like yourself, I did not want to cause an uproar,
As I am already feeling so distraught.
Fear, hatred, humiliation and family obligations,
Silenced me from earlier revelations.
It has been a long time coming but I am revitalized,
By God's love I have a new perspective on life.
I will be a testimony of His compassionate ways,
I will tell the whole world of His amazing grace,
That saved a wretched soul like me from the same fate,
Just in time before it was to late...
Dear victims, have faith, courage and hope for tomorrow,
Your tears will turn to happiness instead of sorrow,
"Do not dwell on the past, in case it dwells on you",
Because God all loving will guide you through.
"There is always light at the end of the tunnel", so do not despair,
With love and understanding you will make it there...
To a Better Tomorrow.
Written in 2003 by JoChIca.T.
October 15, 2003
I sit in the park where I dwell
For this boy I love so well.
He took my heart away from me
And now he wants to set me free
I see a girl on his lap
He says things to her he never said to me.
I ran home to cry on my bed
Not a word to mother was said
Father came home late that night
He looked at me from left to right
He saw me hanging from a rope
He took his knife to cut me down
And on my dress a note was found...it read
"Dig my grave dig it deep,
Dig my grave from head to feet,
And on the top place a dove,
And remember this... I died for love."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Jessica W., Age 15 --- Alabama
I read this somewhere and I could relate to it in the sense that I'd thought of doing the same thing. Then I realized he wasn't worth killing myself over; no boy or girl is. I just wanted to submit this poem and let people know not to put their fate in their own hands, to leave it in the hands of God.
October 15, 2003
Death is but a path that must be trod,
If man would ever pass to God...
For we live in deeds, not years;
In thoughts, not breaths;
In feelings, not figures on a dial...
Life is not measured by the time we live,
But in how we show our love for God,
Through how we act to those around us...
For those most live who think most,
Feel noblest, act best, and live life well...
Just as night brings out stars,
So does sorrow bring out truths.
Of all these, this one is greatest...
In love nothing is ever too late,
For even after our tired heart shall cease to palpitate...
To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.
Julia Jackson Christian
Submitted by Katie Barlow --- Mississippi
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
Love leaves a memory no one can steal."
From a headstone in Ireland
Submitted by Katie Barlow --- Mississippi
October 15, 2003
"No obstacle is too great to overcome."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Heather W., Age 13 --- Ontario, Canada
October 15, 2003
"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."
Henri Nouwen
September 15, 2003
MOVING ON
It is HARD to accept the death of a loved one; especially when you didn't have the chance to say goodbye; especially when the deceased was taken so suddenly and so shockingly at the prime of life and most especially when it seems like an irreplaceable part of your world is gone. The grief and the pain can be unbearable; you cry a river and your sorrow knows no end. You never really know what it's like until you are there yourself, but you look to God because he's the only one who can comfort you.
Death and indeed a death so sudden and painful like the death of my aunt two months ago, makes me realize the brevity of life. We often take life for granted; too much so. Her death has made me sit down and reflect. It has made me take time to appreciate the loved ones in my life because I don't know what tomorrow will bring. It's made me put things in perspective. I want to live life and love it, I don't want to spend my life being unhappy or dissatisfied, I want to put a smile on my face because that's what can make a dark day seem bright and I want to play the game of life to the very end.
So for those of you who can identify with me in grief, make it your aim to try and look past it and move on. My aunt is gone; I cannot bring her back, but at least in memory of her, I can live a life that I know she would be proud of. Our loved ones may be dead and gone but we privileged to still be living owe it to them to live fulfilling lives.
Copyright © 2003 Dinah Hanson (Accra, Ghana)
September 15, 2003
"The heavy hands of afflictions squeeze us not to destroy our lives, but to bring the best out of us."
Copyright © 2003 Jose B. Cabajar (Isabela, Philippines)
The Bible says in Job 23:10, "but he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."
September 15, 2003
My 20-year-old boyfriend, the love of my life, was killed in a car accident July 23, 2003 and I was in the car with him when he died. I wrote this poem and many others to express how I am feeling and I am sharing it with you in hopes that others will understand that they are not alone in grief.
I am scared of so many things that I never was before
I wish I could go back in time- I couldn't ask for more
I miss the wonderful plans we made
The memories we shared could never fade
But where do I go now? What do I do?
How do I continue to live without you?
Others may think I can continue where I was before I met you
They don't understand that it's impossible to do
Having you in my life, was the best dream come true
But since you've left this world, the sky is a different blue
Words can't describe the emptiness inside
I get so lost without you here, please Gar, I need you as my guide.
You can no longer be seen, by the human eye,
But your soul and love that you gave so many, will never ever die
Sometimes I wish I could tell myself that you'll be back someday
If I could make just one wish right now, I'd wish you back to stay
I guess this is the way life goes, and God's will we must accept
But I hope you didn't feel this pain or weep the way I've wept
I miss a million things, every detail of who you are
I miss your mind, body and soul- I pray that heaven's not too far
I still say I'm one very lucky girl to have been given the gift of you
Love like ours is rare these days; I guess this earth can't handle things so pure and true
People who knew us as a couple saw the happiness perfect love brings
So many people in this world care too much more about less valuable things
You taught me so much in the short time we spent together
You taught me the value of the truest of loves that I'll carry it with me forever
I know that I shouldn't question God because obviously he knows more than I
But I can't help constantly asking myself "Why did he have to die?"
Why can't all your dreams come true?
No one deserves them more than you.
I look around and see so many mean people who get to keep living
Why did God take you if He is just in His giving?
I have thought maybe He chose you because you were better than the rest
I pray everyday that heaven is as perfect as you; you only deserve the absolute best
They say that only the good die young, never were words so true
I wonder if I had lived the way you did, if God would have taken me too?
Copyright © 2003 Lauren DeVito
September 15, 2003
"People never die as long as someone remembers them."
Author Unknown
Submitted by Lenny Schmidt --- Iowa
September 15, 2003
January of 2003 I lost a very dear family friend. Actually, he was more like my grandfather. I owe everything to this man he watched me grow up. His death destroyed me because I didn't get a real chance to say goodbye.
I was too selfish with my time and never made the effort to visit him while he was in town, I always figured that there would be another chance. I missed that other chance, a few too many times, and I hate myself for it.
*Remember to always let those you love and cherish know how much they mean to you because one day, we will run out of tomorrows, and will never get the chance to do what you wanted to do "tomorrow"*
Just another morning, an early bright gaze saw my mother walk in my room with such pain on her face. She said three words to me: "Francisco passed away". Couldn't believe that sentence and shamefully I looked away. Didn't want to face the truth, I tried so hard to be strong but how can you hide the stabbing knife those words took to my heart?
The darkness of my clothes and soul made the sunny day turn grey. Walked into his funeral and tears poured down like rain. This man was so loved, so why take him now? I wished more then ever he would wake up and make me smile.
Kneeling by his side he looked so beautiful to me but as I felt his hands, so cold, only thing to do is grieve. Never will I see my hero again, the man who made sure I always had something to eat. He is the reason I still exist.
Saying my goodbyes was truly hard. Seeing him in a box broke my heart in two. Still feeling his coldness, I wanted to get him a blanket or two.
"Please God take care of him, I prayed. I promise I will always remember him and be grateful for the sacrifices he made."
Gave his gentle hand a kiss, and a small wave. I walked away from his temporary home with some sort of relief knowing that he won't be alone; Angels will guide him, I know. Seven months and rivers of tears later I still weep for him but then I stop, and remember that now my "Panchito" has wings.
Written in 2003 by Nancy T., Age 17, Illinois
September 15, 2003
A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY
Please God, make them remember that
Today is a special birthday.
Make them understand that
The memories don't go away.
Bless them, with ears to hear and hearts that care.
Enable them to listen while I share.
Shelter them that they may never know my pain.
Help them to help me know that my child's life was not in vain.
Help them to remember, Lord that I wish that my child was here
So we could still celebrate.
To understand that I still feel the nearness of my child.
To see beyond my smile and the Words, "I'm okay."
Please God, just let one remember today
Is a special birthday!
Author Unknown
September 15, 2003
"Death is a graduation. When we're taught all the things we came to teach, learned all the things we came to learn, then we're allowed to graduate."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
August 18 2003
John and I used to tell everyone that we were going to get married.
He was one of my favorite people in the world. During my senior year in high school he
died after sustaining a head injury on the football field. He was only 16.
Since then, I have spent endless hours trying to understand how his life could have
been taken from him at such a young age. It's been 2 years, but it never seems to get
any easier...
A dreary day, under the umbrella of a gray sky.
Frigid breeze; cold, wet concrete.
Dark colored coats, lined up to get inside.
It shouldn't be like this: not today.
Nervous quiet, crying babies; flowers like a rainbow.
Picture boards covered in memories; guitar, wrestling shoes, trophies.
A giant hand made card;
We'll love you forever.
The click-click of women's shoes
Across the hard gym floor.
Searching for an open seat amongst row after row of black.
A fleeting moment of distraction.
So many stories, memories; spread through the microphone.
Bittersweet laughter, a smile, a tear.
The melody of his favorite song, floating over the sea of faces.
Conciliatory interlude ... a pause from reality.
A small, brown-haired boy lies sleeping in my lap
Tear-streaked faces surround me.
A picture show, a flash of his life, only half seen through cloudy vision.
Lacking the strength to leave, unwilling to say good-bye,
I feel trapped within the gym.
The day is all wrong.
The swelling in my throat, threatening to choke me.
The soft white tissue in my hand, now crumpled and moist.
To be anywhere but here ...
Copyright © 2001 S.B. Kincaid
August 18 2003
Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I'll remember you.
If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all.
Author Unknown
August 18 2003
God will never take something away, without putting something better in its place.
Author Unknown
Submitted by K.O. --- Michigan
August 18 2003
I wrote this for a friend who lost a very dear friend of their own.
FADED PETALS
Through many years our bonds did grow,
In friendship's garden where I trace;
Each memory that we shared in life..
And once again I see your face.
If friends were flowers you have been
Growing strong beside me there.
I know that I have been in yours.
We tended each with loving care.
Our flowers bloomed as life moved on;
Becoming very closely bound.
I saw you. Was it yesterday?
Your laughter? I still hear the sound.
Such memories we shared dear friend,
In a garden filled with love.
We carefully tended what God made,
Because He blessed it from above.
Your earthly petals have now faded.
They now began to fall apart.
I quickly gathered them all up,
And pressed them closely in my heart.
Now I shall stand and count the hours,
As my petals too will someday fade...
And when we meet in Heavens Garden,
We'll be the colors we were made..
Copyright © 2003 Carol Bouche' Ottlinger
August 18 2003
In our sleep, pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart;
and in our despair, against our will, comes wisdom,
through the awful grace of God.
Robert F. Kennedy
Submitted by Sam Arif --- Kansas, United States
August 18 2003
With the death of every friend I love...
a part of me has been buried...
but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength,
and understanding remains to sustain me in my altered world.
Helen Keller
July 16, 2003
In loving memory of Branden James Madaris (10/17/84-6/6/03)
My ex-boyfriend/best friend, Branden "BJ" Madaris pass away on June 6, 2003
in a fatal car accident. He touched the lives of many people.
I was so happy to hear that after being out of school for a year (drop-out)
he decided to go back and graduated this past year.
He left behind many friends and family.
I just want everybody to know to never take things for granted.
BJ and I didn't talk that much for the few months before his accident but I stopped
by his house one day just in time to catch him coming home from school and
gave him a big hug. I never thought that would've been the last time I saw him.
If I could take it back I would've told him how much he meant to me
and how much of an impact he had on mine and many other's lives.
BJ, I miss you and you will always be in my heart.
Sent in by Sabrina B.
July 16, 2003
EMBRACING HARDSHIPS
In life we can be hit with rocks so big leaving us bruises and
scars so deep that one can barely get up. With every hit one falls,
but God always catches us. He pulls those rocks off us and helps us by
walking with us hand in hand.
Life will be filled with tests and hardships. I call them storms;
storms that can consume so much of our being,
storms that leave us holding on with all our might,
struggling to not let go, struggling to survive.
Some of us get tested harder than others. But the strong ones who live through
these storms are the ones who come out blessed. The amazing feeling
that comes with the victory of strength, perseverance, determination and
most of all loyalty to our God.
With each fall….with each hit…a lesson is learned. With each lesson comes growth.
With growth comes maturity. We learn not to regret the hardship, but to be thankful
for it. Because of it we become better.
We must not look back at our past mistakes. We have to take those mistakes as part
of our journey for a better future. We must embrace those experiences and
allow them to mold us into the best we can be.
No one knows what life will bring. Each day will come with it's own
challenges, but we must be strong. Believing that God will get us through.
Copyright © 2003 Yanira Crespo
July 16, 2003
"Life is never the same, it will get better one day!"
Author Unknown
Submitted by Aneisha H., Age 15 --- Virginia
July 16, 2003
Jill Fiscus died January 2003 at the age of 17 from cancer and brain tumor.
We Love you Jildo!
"I want to be a hero to someone. My goals are to overcome obstacles that stand
in my way, try my hardest in everything I do, and achieve anything that I put my mind to."
Author Unknown
Submitted by J.P. --- Iowa
July 16, 2003
"Closing the door on a relationship you did not choose to end can be
extremely painful as well as difficult. The heart does not want to let go,
even if it should. The best way to let go of something you no longer have
is to remember the good memories, and let go of the bad. Take the
lessons you've learned, and apply them in the future."
Copyright © 2003 Candace Crenshaw - Wood
I lost the love of my life do to fear grown out of proportion.
In my youth and immaturity, I allowed my fear to be fed by others
relationship difficulties. I have often regretted losing him, and for years did not
forgive myself. The only way I could break through the madness is to remember
the good times; The Promise, The Christmas we shared, the card playing we did,
the magical memories!!! Something no one can ever take away. When I think of
the happy times, it brings a smile to my face.
I can face another day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 16, 2003
"If God brings you to it.......he will bring you through it."
Author Unknown
Submitted by S. Vincent --- Tennessee
This was sent to me at a time I needed it the most.
A time when the person I loved the most had betrayed me.
July 16, 2003
BE GOOD TO YOURSELF
Be Good To Yourself.
Trust yourself.
You know what you want and need.
Put yourself first.
You can't be anything for anybody else unless you take care of yourself.
Let your feelings be known.
They are important.
Express your opinions.
It's good to hear yourself talk.
Value your thinking.
You do it well.
Take the time and space you need.
Even if other people are wanting something from you.
When you need something, don't talk yourself out of it.
Even if you can't have it, it's ok to need.
When you are scared, let someone know.
Isolating yourself when you're scared makes it worse.
When you feel like running away, let yourself feel the scare.
Think about what you fear will happen and decide what you need to do.
When you're angry, let yourself feel the anger.
Decide what you want to do; just feel it, express it, or take some action.
When you're sad, think about what would be comforting.
When you're hurt, tell the person who hurt you.
Keeping it inside makes it grow.
When you have work to do and you don't want to do it,
Decide what really needs to be done and what can wait.
When you want something from someone else, ask.
You'll be okay if they say no.
Asking is being true to yourself.
When you need help, ask.
Trust people to say no if they don't want to give.
When people turn you down, it usually has to do with them, and not with you.
Ask someone else for what you need.
When you feel alone, know there are people who want to be with you.
Fantasize what it would be like to be with each of them.
Decide if you want to make that happen.
When you feel anxious, let yourself know that in your head.
You've moved into the future to something scary and your body has gotten up the energy for it.
Come back to the present.
When you want to say something loving to someone, go ahead.
Expressing your feeling is not a commitment.
When someone yells at you, physically support yourself by relaxing into your chair or putting your feet firmly on the floor.
Remember to breathe.
Think about the message they are trying to get across to you.
When you're harassing yourself, stop.
You do it when you need something.
Figure out what you need and get it.
When everything seems wrong, you are overwhelmed and need some comforting.
Ask for it.
Afterwards, you can think about what you need to do.
When you want to talk to someone new and are scared, breathe.
Don't start rehearsing, just plunge in.
If it doesn't go well, you can stop.
If you're doing something you don't like to do, (such as smoking or overeating), stop.
Think about what you really want.
If you're stuck and can't think clearly, talk out loud to someone.
When you can't think straight,
Stop thinking. Feel.
When you're in need of love, reach out.
There are people who love you.
When you're confused, it's usually because you think you should
Do one thing and you want to do another.
Dialogue with yourself or present both sides to a friend.
When you feel harried, slow down.
Deliberately slow your breathing, your speech, and your movements.
When you have tears, cry.
When you feel like crying and it's not a safe place to cry,
Acknowledge your pain and promise yourself a good cry later.
Keep your promise.
When everything seems gray, look for color.
If one of these rules seems wrong for you, talk about it with someone.
Then, rewrite it so it fits you.
Remember, Be Good To Yourself!
Author Unknown
July 16, 2003
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way,
that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning,
middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's
going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."
Gilda Radner
July 16, 2003
"We say that the hour of death cannot be forecast, but when we
say this we imagine that hour as placed in an obscure and distant future.
It never occurs to us that it has any connection with the day already begun
or that death could arrive this same afternoon, this afternoon which
is so certain and which has every hour filled in advance."
Marcel Proust
June 16, 2003
In loving memory of my Dad, Alan Frank: Jan. 10, 1949 - Oct. 18, 2002
I know my dad played a role in many people's lives, there won't be
a day that he won't be thought of.
Even though I may not have always taken it, my dad had the best
advice and direction, as he always said he was an endless fountain
of useless knowledge.
My dad taught me to hunt so well that my first hunt was more
successful than any of us imagined, I got the buck; he got bambi.
My friends learned to drive at age 15, by that time I felt
like a pro 'cause dad thought I was ready at age 5.
My dad helped raise my cousins Heather, Melanie, and Marisa on earth
and God wants him to finish raising Taylor and me from above.
My dad was always there for us no matter what and I know
he'll always be there guiding and protecting us.
The last time I carved a pumpkin I ended up in the ER with six
stitches, dad always called me "slice" and kept the sharp objects
away from me. I'm sure he'll continue to watch over me; his other
favorite nickname for me was "grace" because I was so ungraceful.
My dad won't be here to question my dates, but he's taught
me well. they always say you marry someone just like your dad
and I sure hope that's true.
My dad won't be sitting in the crowd at my graduation;
He'll be the one watching from above.
At my wedding he won't walk me down the aisle, instead
I'll carry him in my heart.
My dad won't be there to hold my children; he'll
be the one who sent them to me.
My dad's body may be gone but he will always be in my heart.
I know my dad was very proud of Taylor and me, we will
continue to make him smile throughout our lives.
My dad's life is now a collection of memories, the times will
never fade, in spirit and in legacy his life lives on.
Copyright © 2003 Jessica Frank
June 16, 2003
I wrote this after reading your site one day and I felt it could be an inspiration to others to know that God is always there and that he never gives you more than you can handle and if you always stick with him he will always help you through your tough times.
Obstacle Overcome
Two years ago on February 1st my life changed forever. My mom went to the doctor and they found cysts on her ovaries. It was then decided that a hysterectomy would be done to remove the cysts and she set up an appointment for her surgery. The weekend before her surgery, we spent time at a wrestling tournament. We stayed in a motel and had a weekend filled with fun and excitement. She then proceeded to have the surgery on Tuesday. The next week of school was busy filled with loads of homework, wrestling and volleyball matches, and basketball games.
I had a game that Thursday, and I happened to forget part of my uniform at home. The bus was coming my way, so I would be able to get picked up from my house on the way to the game. My mom had been staying home to recover from her surgery, and I stopped in her room to say hi and tell her I had to get going because I was late. She nicely asked me if I would get the mail for her. I told her that I couldn't because I was late. But, halfway down the road something made me change my mind.
I went back home and got the mail for my mom. She was very grateful for it. Before I left, I kissed her goodbye and told her I loved her. She wished me good luck and told me she loved me too.
The game went well and I also played well. I was excited to get home and tell my parents how I did and to finish up my homework. As I was getting into my car, after the game, my coach came and told me that Mr. and Mrs. Tiff were coming to get me because my mom had been taken to the hospital. At the moment, I really didn't think anything of it. I thought it might just be a minor problem.
As we grew closer and closer to the hospital, I knew something was terribly wrong. I was overcome with the strong feeling of death, and I had this strange feeling that my mother was dying. As I walked into the hospital, my dad ran towards me with tears streaming down his cheeks, and he said exactly what I had felt. My mother was dying. From that moment on everything seemed like a dream.
I went in to see my mother before she died. I was torn apart watching her fight for her breath, all the while I was crying and telling her I loved her and she couldn't leave me because I needed her. I prayed so hard to God to let my mother live. Then the doctor told us he was sorry and that she was gone.
I knew in my heart that my mother did not want to go, but had to. There were friends and relatives there, who tried to comfort us, but there was a big piece missing from my heart; I knew there would always be that empty space that no one could fill.
Later on I found out what my oldest brother Jeff and my twelve-year-old sister had gone through earlier that day. My mom had called my Aunt Mary earlier because she wasn't feeling well. As my brother got home from work and my sister from a friend's house, Mary arrived. While they were home, my mom stopped breathing and Mary called the ambulance while Jeff tried to give my mom mouth to mouth and my sister looked for a pulse. Imagine being twelve years old and trying to save your mother's life, but finding yourself completely helpless.
I am fortunate that I did not have to witness that. The community was very understanding and helpful. Lots of food and essentials were brought to our house. School was called off for the day of her funeral. There were so many people at her funeral that people had to be put in our high school gym. They set up a screen and a recorder, so that the people in the gym were able to see the funeral. The church was filled with many flowers and we received cards upon cards. In that sense, God was watching over us and trying to comfort us.
I was very sad and could not seem to get better. I became distant from my friends and my grades started to drop. I had always been very concerned to keep a good GPA, but nothing seemed important anymore. People told me with time I would get better and that my mother would always be with me, but how do they know? Yes, they were trying to help, but they had no idea what it was like to be a fifteen-year-old girl and not have a mother.
The days and weeks flew by like a blur. I got worse and was completely lost in my life. I had questions that I wanted answered. I grew bitter with time. I then turned to my faith.
I was born and raised a Roman Catholic. I went to church every Sunday and believed in God, but I needed more. I looked for my answers to my questions from God. I prayed for understanding. I needed God to help me through this terrible time.
With time, I became better. I believe it was with the help of God. He helped me through everything. I became more focused and I started doing better in school and had a better outlook on life. My faith and trust in God grew stronger.
I know that I would still be lost today without my faith. I know and I truly feel that this is possibly the worst thing that could happen in my life. With my faith and God's help, I've gotten better. I also feel that some good things have come out of the death of my mother.
I've developed a better relationship with God and have a stronger faith. I care less of what people think of me and I proclaim my faith more openly. I live each day like it is my last. I want to make sure that my friends and family know I love them. I'm a more compassionate person. I don't take so many things for granted. I'm thankful for everything. I realize the things in life.
There is not a day that doesn't go by when I don't think of my mother. Little things that I hear, see, or smell make me think of her. The smell of her perfume, a piece of clothing that she might have worn, or something that I could hear her say, makes me sad.
I think of the things I won't get to do with my mother that other girls do. No more bonding times and talking about guys, no shopping trips, no one to take me prom dress shopping, no late night talks. She won't be there for highlights in my life like graduation and my wedding day. She is my hero and role model.
My mother was compassionate, caring, beautiful, talented, and very religious. She was very well liked and respected. She became a successful bank manager against the odds. She did not go to college and she worked her way up from being a teller to a manager of a bank. She did all this while raising six children.
My only wish is that I grow up to be the same woman she was. I have overcome the biggest obstacle I probably will face in my life. It seems terrible that I had to face it at such a young age, but I'm thankful for the time I did get with my mother. She truly touched my life and left her mark on me forever. I've had an obstacle in my life, which I have stepped over. I took a very sad and tragic event and produced good.
Copyright © 2002 Holly Anderson
June 16, 2003
My Mother
God gave me a mother
With warmth in her smile.
He said, "I will leave her
With you for a while."
She'll be young and handsome
At least for a day.
Her hair will be dark.
Her laughter be gay.
Her step will be sturdy.
She'll walk straight and tall.
I'll make her touch gentle.
She'll be at your call.
Her arms will enfold you.
Her strength will be yours.
Her love will enfold you.....
In your childhood hours.
But one day the Mother
Will no longer be...
The handsome young woman
The child used to see.
Her face shall grow time worn.
The eyes shall grow dim.
Her strength will start failing.
She's slower of limb.
The strong tender hands
That soothed o'er your brow
Have grown gnarled and crippled.
She's more tired now.
Soon you'l be her comfort.
She'll lean upon you.
Please carry her gently.
She grew old for you.
She wept with your weeping.
She smiled with your smiles.
She guarded you always
Through life with it's trials.
She bore all your burdens.
Was always concerned.
Don't weep when I call her
To rest she has earned.
Copyright © 1998 Carol Bouche' Ottlinger
DADDY'S HAT
For my daddy ( 8/31/1898-10/26/1964 )
It was old gray felt; not worth much.
The band was stained and frayed.
I don't know where he got the thing;
Or what price he had paid.
On Easter we would stuff it full
Of grass and colored eggs..
And hide it in the wash machine..
Or neath the table legs.
He wore it on the wintry days.
He wore it in the fall.
He even wore it when it rained,
Or when he went to call.
Sometimes we'd play a joke on him
And place it on the bed.
His voice would make the rafters ring..
"Bad Luck! Bad Luck!" he said.
Though dad's been gone for many years
My memories are still intact...
And never will I think of him
Without that old felt hat.
Copyright © 1965 Carol Bouche' Ottlinger
June 16, 2003
"Just when the caterpillar thought his life was over, he became a butterfly."
Author Unknown
Sent in by J.J., Age 16 --- Iowa
My brother died of cancer, at the age of 19, on
August 25th, 2002. My Mom was walking one day and just having a
very hard, emotional day and she found a magnet still in it's package that
had this quote on it. She said that it was as if it was a
message from God. I have to agree... it was perfect. I see it every day on
our fridge and it reminds me that the best part is yet to come,
and Kyle is now a "butterfly" waiting for us to join him someday.
June 16, 2003
I lived my life filled with the greatest memories one could ever experience.
These sweet memories that have been shared year after year since
I was 3 years old always puts a smile on my face. Little did others
know that when I was alone, my inner strength was
put to the test...MY OWN PERSONAL TEST.
Every emotion that was not shared with others was
finally released. Friends and family did not realize the pain
I had to endure all these years. I was not allowed to cry in public, but
did on occasion. I needed my privacy. Often it was not respected.
So what could I do in public to hide my real feelings? Keep
my mind preoccupied on other things. I was strictly disciplined for
my disobedience and loved it all. Inside I told myself, "Can't you
do better than that?!" All of the beatings I received helped to mask the TRUE
pain I was experiencing.
So throughout the years I brought myself to face the pain, and each
time it became more severe than anyone would ever know.
That's when I told myself, "I think it's time to mix it up a bit!!!"
And now the truth has finally been revealed.
My life was taken from me at the age of 5. That is twenty years
of tears, sweat, and bleeding put upon by my own self.
The years of torture I had to endure, nobody really knew.
But you know what I say now to EVERYONE,
"COME SEE ABOUT ME.!!!!!!!!" But behind his rough exterior
is a weak, weak, weak MAN who does not know how to
move on in this game called LIFE. You Know? Please tell ME?
E. Z.
Submitted by Rico Santos --- Kyoto, Japan
June 16, 2003
May 13 is a day that I will dread every year from this day
forward. Well one of my best girlfriends, Emily, took her life that day. The way she did it is kind of disturbing and is one of the hardest things to
deal with. She took a rope and hung herself in her basement.
Another hard thing is that she, along with me, was 14 years old. She
didn't even get to graduate Jr.High. She messed up her life before
she even had one. She suffered from depression and ADHD and she
was heavy into drugs and sex. She was having problems and school and
with friends and of course with her parents. If you could look through that, like I
did, you found this girl that was so funny and was very caring. When I
would get upset about her death, it hurt twice as much because I knew that
when I was upset, those were the times that I would call her. I wish that she
knew that this was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
I have found it in myself to realize she is in a better place and
is flying with the most beautiful of angels. She will watch over me and protect
me and guide me. See my friends and I who knew her are in track and
we would win. We believed it was because we would think, "do it for Emily, do
it for Emily," and we would! We made it to the state track meet and
did real well. I just said, "Thanks Emily".
If you look at the good in a bad situation then it helps. Emily
had enough and couldn't take it any more. But if you have a similar problem
then if suggest a journal and take all your emotions and anger onto the pages.
I have a Dear Emily journal. It really helps...trust me. Don't take things for granted.
You have great friends around you and you don't think twice about it.
The truth is that you don't know how much you love something or in my
care someone until it's...gone.
Written by Syndey H., Age 14 --- Illinois
This is a poem by Emily. My friend, Step, received this on and e-mail 1
day before Emily took her life. This was and still is hard to read; my
eyes get teary every time.
Blaming the world for all my hate,
Everyone is agents me in my head,
The lights went out long ago,
Left in the dark; scared and dead.
I once felt love,
But now all I feel is hate.
Denying life's course,
Forever blaming hate.
Afraid of the dark,
Left alone with insanity,
My soul is broke,
I have no faith in humanity.
A broken heart,
A broken wing,
Forever running,
Trapped in an endless ring.
Always crying,
But no one will hear,
I will miss life so much,
Now my only friend is fear.