Cole HomepageSTORIES, POEMS AND NOTES TO SELF
Calendar Year 2004
MAY YOU ALWAYS FEEL LOVED
December 22, 2004
May you find serenity and tranquility in a world
You may not always understand.
May the pain you have known and conflict you have experienced
Give you the strength to walk through life
Facing each new situation with courage and optimism.
Always know that there are those whose love and understanding
Will always be there, even when you feel most alone.
May you discover enough goodness in others
To believe in a world of peace.
May a kind word, a reassuring touch, a warm smile be yours
Every day of your life,
And may you give these gifts as well as receive them.
Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending.
Teach love to those who know hate,
And let that love embrace you as you go into the world.
May the teaching of those you admire become part of you,
So that you may call upon them.
Remember, those whose lives you have touched
And who have touched yours are always a part of you,
Even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.
It is the content of the encounter that is more important than it's form.
May you not become too concerned with material matters,
But instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.
Find time in each day to see the beauty and love in the world around you.
Realize that each person has limitless abilities,
But each of us is different in our own way.
What you may feel you lack in one regard
May be more than compensated for in another.
What you feel you lack in the present
May become one of your strengths in the future.
May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.
Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.
May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself,
And not be dependent on another's judgement of your accomplishments.
May you always feel loved.
--- Copyright © 1987 Sandra Sturtz Hauss --- Sent in by Tamara Robinson
ANGELS WITH FOUR LEGS
December 20, 2004
Angels with four legs
Though they may not have wings to fly
Back and forth between the earth and sky.
They never question the reason why?
But, will give of their life, if do or die.
When we're in trouble they never run or hide
For this I am thankful and full of pride.
They aid and comfort the disabled and sick.
They even employ a special trick.
If the need arises, they will even give your face a lick.
When you come home after a hard day's work
They just want you to pet them; it's their only quirk.
For no matter what time you arrive home at night,
They never fail to greet you, what a beautiful sight!
So be kind and loving to the very end.
For this four-legged angel is your very best friend,
And will always remain faithful to the very end.
Copyright © 2004 Joseph P. Martino
HOW TO HELP YOURSELF AND OTHERS
December 13, 2004
Most of the time, I think we are not conscious of what we say, do or read. We all have routines. Get up in the morning, turn on the news, read the newspaper, and then start the rest of the day. It would be wonderful if the morning information had a lot of good news, something that left us with good and hopeful feelings as we venture out into our day, but I can't say that I see it often.
It has been said that you are what you think about. If the morning messages are more negative than positive, I pose the question: what are you thinking about - something positive - possibilities that they can bring? Or are you thinking of something negative? How do you think it impacts your day and the people you have interactions with?
It does come down to conscious and unconscious choices. If negativity is swirling in your mind first thing in the morning, I suggest that you be aware of how you come across to others as you go through your day. Do people think you have a bad attitude, see you as cranky, depressed, irritable, not too easy to be around?
If so, why not try something new?
Why not decide to read or listen to positive messages each morning before your day begins? What could happen to your attitude if you bombarded your mind with possibilities of wonder, courage, kindness, and love in your heart for the world? I suspect others would find that you were easier to be with, that they would notice a change - though they might not be able to put their finger on it, they would notice the difference.
Each morning after I do what everyone else does, I come and sit for at least 15 minutes reading the quotation sections. I know first hand the impact this ritual has on my day. The power of reprogramming my mind to forget about the negative ( I can't change what has happened anyway) and to focus on the positive has been so helpful for me. I suggest it may be helpful for you too. Why not try it? You have nothing to lose except some negativity and every bit helps!
Have a wonderful week ahead!
--- Marlene
A TRIBUTE TO VETERANS (song)
December 1, 2004
In Vietnam, Korea and World Wars past
Our men fought bravely so freedom would last
Conditions were not always best they could be
Fighting a foe you could not always see:
From mountain highs to valley lows
From jungle drops to desert patrols
Our sinewy sons were sent over seas
Far from their families and far from their dreams
They never wrote letters of hardships despair
Only of love, yearning that one day soon:
They would come home, they would resume
And carry on with the rest of their lives
The P.O.W.'s stood steadfast
Against the indignities and cruelties of war
They could not have lasted as long as they did
If they had relinquished their hope that some day:
They would come home, they would resume
And carry on the rest of their lives
Medics, nurses, and chaplains alike
Did what they needed to bring back life
They served our forces from day into night
Not questioning if they would survive:
They mended bones and bodies too,
They soothed the spirits of dying souls
And for those M.I.A'S, who were left behind
We echo this message across the seas
We will search for as long as it takes
You're not forgotten and will always be:
In our hearts, in our prayers,
In our minds for all time
A moment of silence, a moment of summons
Is their deliverance of body and soul
To a sacred place that we all know
Deep in the shrines of our soul:
In our hearts, in our prayers
In our minds for all time
INTERLUDE:
Gold Star Mothers grieve: endlessly,
endlessly, endlessly.......
These immortalized soldiers whose bravery abounds
They¹re our husbands, fathers, and sons
They enlisted for the duty at hand
To serve the cause of country and land:
They had honor, they had valor,
They found glory that change them forever
Men standing tall and proud they be
A country behind them in a solemn sea
So let the flags of freedom fly
Unfurled in their majesty high:
In the sun, in the rain
In the winds across this land
Years of tears has brought us here
Gathering around to hear this sound
So let the flags of freedom fly
Unfurled in their majesty high:
In the sun, in the rain,
In the winds across this land
REPEAT:
In the sun, in the rain,
In the winds for all time
--- Copyright © 2003 Jerry Calow
CHRISTMAS IS NEARLY UPON US
December 1, 2004
Christmas is the time of year to reflect with thoughtful prayer,
To cast aside of all bad thought and habits
You expressed throughout the year.
We can all join together to celebrate Jesus' birth,
A renewal and beginning, right here on planet earth.
Jesus left all of us a message while here on earth, to love, to care.
His words were ever simple, plain and so very, very clear,
Be kind to one another throughout the coming year.
Christmas is the time of year to spend with young and old,
The needy, greedy and the poor.
A time to love, a time to share.
Let us all spread our love around with all our heart and soul,
For the love of your neighbor should never turn so cold.
Songs of Christmas carols fill the night time air,
Family and friends gather round the fireplace drinking eggnog and cider
Without a worry or a care; a time to love, a time to share.
Chestnuts roasting on the stove, mistletoe strung over every door.
The noisy sounds of sleighs are so difficult to ignore,
Ringing out so loudly, they spread vibrations throughout the creaking floor.
Attending morning service in our house of worship,
Singing hymns and prayers of thanks,
As children in nearby parks and playgrounds
Play games and harmless pranks.
Turkey cooking in the oven, children playing with their new found toys,
What a thrill and pleasure to see all the happy, smiling faces,
On all the girls and boys.
--- Copyright © 2004 Joseph P.Martino
GOD'S ETERNAL CIRCLE
December 1, 2004
God is love.
Love is giving.
Giving is holiness.
Holiness is kindness.
Kindness is gentleness.
Gentleness is strength.
Strength is faith.
Faith is assurance.
Assurance is hope.
Hope is Divine.
Divine is God.
--- Copyright © 2004 Mary Ann Herman-Bogle
Thinking about God as Alpha to Omega or Beginning to End...I wrote a short observation. You'll notice that the last word in each sentence is used to begin the next sentence. There is no finale to God's Eternal Circle.
LOVE'S WAY
December 1, 2004
A farmer lived with his twelve-year-old son. The son was poetic and a bit lethargic. One day becoming furious with his son's ways the farmer severely scolded him and ordered him to remove the bushes in the back yard.
On returning in the evening the father went to check his son's work. The back yard was clean except for one bush in the center and his son was not there to question.
Thinking that his son was lethargic to finish the work, the father himself took a knife and began to clear the bush. As soon as his first blow landed on the bush, two small frogs leapt out of their home and scampered away in fright…
--- Written in 2004 by G.Ramasubramanian --- India
GROWING WISE
December 1, 2004
It's almost my birthday, again. The big twenty-nine - another year and I'll be thirty, halfway to sixty. That's a pessimistic way of looking at it! I've been thinking a lot over the last couple of years about experiences I've had, and have come to realize that there are more times than not when I've backed out of the idea of trying something new, through fear of the unknown.
I have a housemate who is my age and unemployed, and quite happy to spend his days and months hunched over his desk in a darkened room playing computer games. He's "trying to find himself", or so he tells me.
I've spent a lot of time over the years burying myself away in night-shift work, and reading books, to avoid the outside world. I want change in my life, and it's something which is happening - slowly - but I'm learning that unless you take courage, and make yourself get out there to experience new things, life will quite happily pass you by, and leave you nothing to show for the years lost besides a memory made of ashes.
It's a depressing thought, but there's one solution to all this: know that unless you try something, you'll never know what might have been. Think about what you want from life, and then have faith that with some work, and a little patience, things usually always have a habit of working out for the better. Some people never take that first step towards making change happen - if you've done so, you're already a winner!
--- Copyright © 2004 David Wyatt
ROOTS
November 29, 2004
Roots--more complex than that tangled part of an underground plant;
A place to draw from, an essential part of growth;
My beginnings that shaped and nurtured the future me.
When my world feels shaky, as if my roots are being torn away,
And loved ones begin to depart,
I have only to reflect on these golden memories that we call yesterday
The smoothness of a baby's skin;
A wrinkled smile that lights up the room;
Words of wisdom suggested with love;
Sad occasions where prayers are mingled with tears;
Happy holidays where love and laughter and good food abound;
Hands joined in prayer connecting with one another and with God.
And then I know that my roots are secure.
For as a root draws water from the soil,
I, too, can draw strength from that innermost part of my private self
Knowing that my roots are not gone
But are tenderly and lovingly multiplying,
Sending out new growth in the never-ending scheme of life --
Which has perfect order.
Copyright © 2004 Joy Hale
For most of my life, my feelings have poured out of me in poetic fashion. Joys and sorrows, laughter and pain all have had their own unique expressions in poetry. Each poem grows out of the experiences of my life, and whispers to the reader of the insights gained from those experiences.
The poem, "Roots" was written from a deep place in my heart. Several years ago, my father, my stepson and my close childhood friend were all dying of cancer. Cherished parts of my life were coming to an end and I did not know how I could give them up. As I once again turned to writing to deal with my grief, I received word from my daughter that she was expecting my first grandchild. God's plan has always been about beginnings and endings; new roots were being added to our family, and I thanked God that in every season He still sends hope and joy.
Joy Hale
November 2004
WHATEVER YOU IMAGINE IS WHAT YOU BECOME
BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING THAT EXISTS WITHOUT A FORE IMAGINATION
November 22, 2004
Dreams... I believe in my dreams, talk about my dreams, think about my dreams, plan for my dreams, create opportunities for my dreams, and I see myself already in my dreams. The only way to achieve a dream is to talk about it, believe it, see yourself in it and create opportunities for it.
There is a great will-power that follows whatever you imagine. This will-power gets you going despite all odds and the dreams that are supposed to take you ten to twenty years to achieve are achieved in a shorter period.
Paper plans are not enough for dreams! Just see yourself acting out what you have imagined and by the time you get into it, you may think you are still in the process of imagination.
What you believe is what you achieve. What you imagine is what you become. What you think is what you experience.
Copyright © 2004 Fola Daniel ( Nigeria )
STAND UP WARRIOR, DON'T GIVE UP!
November 18, 2004
Stand up warrior, don't give up,
The battle field called life
Is waiting for you to return.
Despite your bruises and wounds
You must continue to fight on.
Despite your broken soul,
Nobody you can hold.
Just keep your feet on the ground and stand alone,
GOD watching over you,
His love unfolds.
Shield yourself with FAITH, HOPE & LOVE;
Even if you fall many times, don't give up.
With your determination to move forward,
You may soon realize
Trials are a blessing in disguise.
In this world, the battlefield called life,
To be a warrior is not an easy task.
In the face of combat
The best guides are FAITH, HOPE & LOVE.
Stand up warrior, don't give up!
Expect more trials to come, arise!
Don't lose your attention, be on the right track.
Don't let yourself depart from the path you're taking,
No holding back.
Stand up warrior, don't give up!
--- Copyright © 2004 Rapport -Ja (Philippines)
A LIFE CHANGING DAY
November 8, 2004
Dressed in my white polo shirt, black pants, and my red smock, I was ready for my first day as a fashion's worker. I had been working on a register for over two weeks when they decided that I was ready to work on the floor. I remember the feeling of excitement because this was something new, and nervousness because I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't even know whom I would be working with. So many thoughts came floating into my head as I walked from my car to the store.
"What if they don't like me? What if I can't handle this job? Will I remember everything?"
With my mind filled with all these what if's, I walked back to the break room, punched in, and put my purse in my ocker. Then, with my shaking hands and upset stomach, I walked back to the front of the store and met with Theresa at the service desk.
"Hi, Kayli. How are you?"
"Pretty good, you?"
"Fine, thanks. I think we are going to have you work with Vicki today. So let's take a walk back to the men's department, and she can get you trained in."
"Okay," I replied with nervousness.
Walking for what seemed like eternity, we finally reached our destination. She came bouncing out of receiving with a lighthearted walk and a brilliant white smile.
We must have caught her a little off guard because she stopped, stared at us for a moment, and said, "Hi Theresa!"
"Hey, Vicki! I'd like you to meet Kayli. She is going to be working with you for the next couple of weeks."
"Hi, Kayli," she replied with more enthusiasm than I had expected.
"Well I'll leave it up to you, Vick." Theresa happily replied, then turned and walked away.
I expected the usual uncomfortable silence that always happens when two strangers meet and are supposed to be friends right away, but I was wrong. She was very comfortable to be around and easy to talk to. I started to relax and act like my usual self. I even found myself trusting her right away, not a normal thing for me. She seemed to be very interested in my life and the things that I was into. She was all about getting to know the real me, inside and out.
I can't really pick out one specific moment that made me realize Vicki was such an inspiring person; I just had the feeling that she really cared.
That day I ended up learning more than just the tasks of a fashion's worker. I learned to trust again, to love life a little more, and to just be me. She has taught me that it was okay to be me, and for that, I will be forever grateful.
--- Copyright © 2004 Kayli Smith
START FOR YOURSELF
November 1, 2004
Start for yourself
Face your greatest fears
And take the new step of faith
Because only who can see the invisible
Can do the impossible.
God opens a door before your eyes
It's up to you to find out
Help yourself and explore the things outside.
If only you could see the genuine smile
Through the eyes of an innocent child
That gives you different insight
Sometimes it's better to be like a child
They take the challenge of life
No matter what comes out
You will see them playing around.
If you want to cope-up with your grief,
You must help and start for yourself
Minimize your self-centeredness,
Maximize your faith and strength for living
Because, God, you are still alive!
There are more things to explore outside.
Even the air you breathed, the voice you've heard,
The things you've seen,
Are enough to analyze,
You are still fortunate to be alive!
You are blessed to take another day
To feel the sun's ray
Hey, didn't you know that you are nature's greatest miracle?
Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja (Philippines)
No matter how hard life is or how low you feel, still nobody can help you better than yourself. You cannot start without helping yourself first.
REFLECTIONS ABOUT LIFE
November 1, 2004
On the edge.....
There will be moments when the only thing left is for you to question your existence. Life can be so damned hard for each of us. There are always days when we get so lonely and depressed. When we cry. When the world has lost its colors. When the rest of the world is happy and you are not.
There will be times when we lose all reasons for living; and problems will seem so hard that we wish there was no such thing as tomorrow.
But then again, we should also know, that they are just another bitterness in life trying to twist the personage in each of us; and corrupt our perceptions about life.
When these times happen, do not succumb to the temptations of giving up. Yes, to live is to suffer and the only way to be happy is to suffer willingly.
Often, the worst of times yields the best lessons in life. We have to go on in life's extremes. We don't have to give up.
As the famous poet, philosopher, and artist Kahlil Gibran said,
"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that, in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight."
--- Insights from Marcial Sarmiento (from the Philippines) 2004
WILL, GOODWILL AND GOD'S WILL
November 1, 2004
It is when you lose everything that your true character is revealed.
This was brought home to me when, on November 7, 1999, we lost our home in a fire. Ours was only one of the 50 or so houses and shops that burned down that day. Like most people in India, we lived in a rented house, and had no insurance whatsoever. We had escaped with the clothes we wore. Our bank account was almost non existent. My mother was about to retire in a few months and my father's business had just about managed to stay afloat.
Of all the things she lost, my mother was devastated at losing the stuff she had gathered for my dowry. She had always wanted to give me a good wedding- not lavish, but very dignified. That had been her fondest wish, her most fervent desire.
My parents were never rich, or even comfortably well off. But they had always helped people, and were respected by the few who could recognize character. In India, wealth commands respect most of the time. Here they were, in the autumn of their lives, and everything was at zero again.
My father shrugged. He had had to start from zero before - three times before to be precise. " All you need," he said, " are three things- Will (To do something), Good will (of fellow men) and God's will." But before he did anything else, he went to the Sikh temple, and thanked God for everything-no lives were lost in the fire, his family was all right and he had been given a chance to start all over again. Somehow, my father's simple faith gave me strength. He had lost everything but still had the will to get his life in order again.
The next day, he went back to work. He asked the people he worked with for credit, explaining the circumstances- and he got it. His business did not suddenly start booming, but it did not splutter and fail either. He is still working, still managing to make ends meet.
My mother went back to school the day it opened. November 7 was a holiday because of Diwali- the festival of lights, and is usually accompanied by a short break.
We were living at a temporary shelter with others who had also lost their homes. Our clothes were what we had borrowed from our friends, and we depended on charity for food.
My mother was a bit late, a bit bedraggled- borrowed clothes don't always fit right- but she taught all her classes. Her students learnt an important lesson in life that day and it was not what she taught in words, but what she demonstrated by her actions. They now knew how to face the most adverse circumstances with dignity, courage and character.
My mother's retirement was postponed, and the principal suggested that she take a few days off. She refused- we needed the money, she explained. My mother asked the principal to waive the fees for the children affected by the fire, and help them get books and uniforms. The principal agreed and then started a fundraising drive. Donations poured in- money as well as clothes and household items. The clothes were shared with other families.
Mama refused to accept the money being collected- it seemed unfair because others who had been similarly affected did not have the same supports as she did- until the principal agreed to distribute the money to at least nine other families.
We were helped in other ways too. Many people offered us residence- and we finally took one - at a former student of my mother's- and we moved out of the shelter within 10 days. We were the first to move out.
People helped us search the ashes for valuables, and we could recover some of my prized antiques. One of my aunts stayed with us, at the shelter, for moral and emotional support as we ran around, trying to find a place to live. Since we were too emotionally distraught to be good hosts, she took over the role and made sure the guests (and there were many) got a good cup of tea before they left.
Later, she made a remark that struck me as too true. She said that while others cultivated money, my parents had cultivated respect and goodwill - and were better off because of that.
Some months later, I got married, and it was the kind of wedding my mother had always wanted. It cost her almost all her money, but she had no regrets- this was what she had wanted anyway. She retired later that year.
Now, my parents still live in that same small town in North India, still live in a rented house and are still not rich. They are respected by even more people than before. In a sense, not much has changed except, for a brief moment, they let the world catch a glimpse of their true character and the world never forgot it. True character is like a diamond, hidden in the coal mine- it is revealed only when it is struck a very hard blow.
--- Copyright © 2004 Harpreet Shah
GOD IS NEVER WRONG!
November 1, 2004
We all came from love. We all came from our parent's love and most importantly, from God's love - unconditional love. Then one point in our lives we come to experience something that makes life beautiful, something that makes us believe that there is unconditional love. This love is God's love for us. Since time began, His love for us is so great that it cannot be measured. I hear some people say that there is no such thing as unconditional love. Deep inside, I disagree. Although I can say that sometimes I do not exhibit this unconditional love, I do believe that there is such a thing. Although we sometimes feel that we don't have it in us, we actually do. We just have to dig it up. God gave us this love to discover and experience. It is undying love.
I am now in a relationship with this girl. I am very much in love with her. She is like no other person I have met. She is the loveliest thing in the world. She never fails to make me smile and make my heart flutter. Oh, how I always stare at her and smile. She sometimes gets conscious of what I'm doing and she does the 'covering my face with her hand' thing and she says, "Quit staring!" Oh, how I laugh when she does that. I love her so much.
One day, I decided to tell her something. Something that people don't really talk about. It was a sin that I do all over again. I was so tired of sinning that I really wanted to get rid of it. I wanted to be a better man. I wanted to be this better man for her and for God. She was my best friend and I wanted to tell her everything. Also, I read in a promising book that in order to conquer temptations, one of the keys in conquering this kind of stuff is to have someone to help you, someone who will listen, accept and pray for you. I believed deep inside that she'd understand, that she'd still accept me for who I am. Man, was I scared that time. I was scared of losing her. But I had to tell her. I believed that there was unconditional love within her.
I am someone who talks to God everyday. I asked Him if I'd tell her or not. Eventually he gave me signs that I should tell her. At first, I told her that I had something important to open up with her, that I needed her help. I told her that she might get disappointed or disgusted with what I was about to share. She wanted to find out right away, but I told her that a little bit later was the time. She felt a little scared, scared of what she would feel and how she would react.
The time had come, but unfortunately she was in a strange mood. She was not sure if she was ready to hear what I had to say and that made me feel discouraged. I thought to myself, "Maybe she doesn't truly love me…maybe there is no such thing as 'unconditional love.' I told her that I decided not to tell her anymore. It was time for her Psychology class and she had to go. I had to go home because four big tests the next day were about to happen. I felt so bad at the moment. I could not look straight at her. I was trembling with confusion. Our goodbyes felt very bad. I said to God, "Very bad idea… very bad idea." My eyes were slowly filling with tears.
On my way home, I sent her a message through my mobile phone. In my message, I typed, "Maybe God is wrong sometimes. Take Care.." I cried while sending the message. My tears blurred the message. I knew that deep inside I did not mean this. How cruel of me to say such a thing. God has given me more than I ever wanted and this is how I talk about Him? I was a fool. I put my phone in silent mode so I won't be able to see her message but I could not bear it. I had to see if she replied. There was a message and it was from her. The message read, "GOD IS NEVER WRONG! TAKE CARE!" I felt so bad after reading it. I felt like the worst fool on earth.
When I reached home, I was in a state of madness. I did not know what to do. I hated myself for saying such a thing. I wanted to tell her that what I said was not what I truly felt. I had no balance left in my phone and my folks were not home. I could not send her a message through my phone. I was desperate but then, my folks just arrived in time. But still, I felt that it was not enough. I felt that I should see her face to face and prove to her that she was right. Suddenly, without thinking, a miracle happened. Deep inside my head, my heart, my soul I heard God and I said "I'm going back…I'm going back!" Suddenly, I felt new strength growing in me. Strength that would bring me back to her. I asked P20 from my mother for the fare I needed. It was the best P20 I ever received from her. I did not think twice. I did not change clothes. I grabbed my 'easy to wear' sandals and went off like a rocket. I almost forgot my I.D. and ran back home to get it. I was lucky that I remembered it before I got a tricycle.
Going to school, the ride was a scary one. The tricycle was a traveling at a speed that made you think if you'd be able to go through all of it…alive.. I was praying hard that nothing would happen to me and that she was still in school. (I had a funny feeling that their Psychology class ended soon and she went home already) I said to myself that I would not allow myself to get hurt or die without telling her that she means so much to me and that she was right about God. I was fully determined. I arrived in school, rushing towards their designated room. As I was running by, someone called me, "Marc!" "Oh!", I said and I realized that she was a classmate of hers and I knew that big chances were that she left for home already. I asked her where she was and she said that she left just a few minutes ago, but she was not sure which direction she went but I knew for sure that it was home that she went to. I saw other friends around and I asked them about her. They didn't see her. Outside school, just at the other side of the road, I saw her back. I prayed and hoped that it was her. As I walked nearer, I was really praying harder. It was the same built, same hair but not the same bag. It was not her. I decided to go to where she lived. I would stop at nothing to get to her. If she were still not home yet I said to myself that I would wait outside no matter what time it would be. I would wait for her. It felt like a life and death situation. I knew that God was with me. I knew that what she said was really true and I believed that after talking to her and revealing the part of me that was wrong...she would accept me.. she would still love me. My faith at that time was so strong.
The ride again, was scary as the previous one. I prayed harder and thankfully I reached her home. With no fear, I walked into their compound. Her aunt was outside and she asked me who I was looking for. Her aunt called her and said that she had visitor -…brave and humble me.. Her relatives let me in her house. She was now in her house clothes. Man, how happy I felt and how beautiful she was. She was in a good mood, a mood that was not a hostile one. She was surprised to see me. I was so excited to see her and talk to her. She said, "Oh, what is it?" I started talking. "I guess your teacher dismissed you early… I did not know what to do. I felt so bad. I had to do something. What I said, I did not mean it. You know that. I was at the peak of my emotions and without thinking, I just put it down. I cried when I sent that message to you. I knew that it was not true. I was a fool. When you replied, I felt at a loss. How stupid and foolish of me to say such a thing. When I reached home, I felt like I was going to die this night. It's a bit exaggerating but it felt that way. I did not go crazy though. But you know, a miracle happened. Without warning, with no reason, it just popped out of nowhere and I said to myself…I am going back!.. I knew that this was the road God showed me - the road back to you.. I had to get two things back. I had to get my faith back …and my girl…" As our conversation went on, I eventually opened up to her and told her about the thing that I was supposed to share. I told her that I love her so much and when there are bad things that I do, I don't include her in those things. Anyway, I still was curious about her reaction. She said, "Oh, okay." There was no disgust or discouragement in her face. Slowly my heart was beginning to smile. She said to me that whoever I was, nothing would change. She said that whoever I was, she would still love me with open arms and an open heart. I was touched by what she said. I felt that I was loved so much. I could see it in her face. How lucky I was to have her. God really is never wrong. I'll never forget that day. I'll never forget the miracle, the unconditional love.
Right now, I am thinking about her. She is now sleeping soundly, maybe dreaming of life's wonders. We still are together and I am still continuing on my journey in becoming a better man. Slowly, I can see that I'm becoming a better person. I love her so much and I will always cherish her with everything I am.
"Treasure each moment, even the small ones, for in the small ones, great courage and big faith may be required. Treat these small moments like big ones and you'll discover that a small fragment of life means so much. You can't live life just hoping and praying. God gave us hands, feet, speech to do His will, to make his presence very much alive in this world. Fight for what you believe in, fight for love. Have the courage. Take the chance. Trust in God for He is never wrong."
--- Copyright © 2004 Angelo Duran
REMEMBERING
October 25, 2004
Although 3 years have past, I promised myself long ago that if the opportunity presented itself, I would go New York City to honor and pay my respects to all who perished in the September 11, 2001 attack. This was an experience I had looked forward to with some trepidation because I wasn't sure how to prepare for this. Even so, I knew I had to go.
As I exited the subway and started to walk towards the stairs to street level, the pit of my stomach was churning. I felt an overwhelming sense of grief. This feeling was so strong I didn't know what to do with it, other than to feel the feeling and wait until it passed.
Approaching the site of the destruction, there were plaques with the names of those who had perished. My heart hurt and I silently prayed that they would rest peacefully and that I would never forget their sacrifice.
As I rounded the corner, there was Ladder Company 10. I lost it. To see the faces behind the big doors was more than I could handle. They had experienced so much heartache and pain yet there they were doing their jobs. Believe me, it made me feel small and ashamed of any whining I have done in my life.
I have reflected on this trip many times over the last week. What lessons did I need to learn from this experience? I'm not sure but I think it is to be more grateful and thankful on a daily basis and to never forget what true sacrifice, courage and bravery look like.
Marlene Blaszczyk
Publisher - Motivating Moments
HAPPILY EVER AFTER
October 18, 2004
"Happily Ever After" is such an enchanting notion. Hard times abound, your life is controlled by a wicked stepmother and you are wearing rags while your evil step-sisters dress in ball gowns. Day in, day out, cleaning & scrubbing and you don't ever get to go to the ball. Suddenly there is a knock at the door and a handsome prince with a glass slipper transforms your life. Your dreams come true and you live "Happily Ever After."
Oh, if only there were a glass slipper out there for each of us. A charming prince arriving at our door on a white stallion, keen on stealing us away to oversee the kingdom. The remainder of our life spent free of turmoil, chaos and stress ; no uprising in the castle, no famine, droughts or plagues, no death of our beloved prince. Only an ever-after filled with bliss.
But life is not a fairytale and for most of us our ever-after is filled with an unpredictable balance between cleaning and scrubbing and galloping unencumbered into the sunset.
"Happily Ever After" is an enchanting notion. But Ever After ends eventually. Perhaps we need to embrace a "Happily This Moment " notion into our lives. To be ever present to immediate, spontaneous joy we experience daily. To dance at the ball when the slipper fits and find wisdom and acceptance in the drudgery. Perhaps then, we can become the sovereign of our own destiny.
--- Copyright © 2004 Bernadette Ballezza
RICHARD AND BROWNIE
October 4, 2004
July 28, 2004 we moved from our old home of 28 years into two smaller homes with a pool in between. On the moving day, our daughters took our family pets to stay at the new homes while we went to the settlement. When they got to the new homes our dog, Brownie, was so excited that she jumped out of the SUV. Brownie is around 12 years old and the jump hurt her. But being an animal they don't always show that they're hurt. She walked all around the property with the girls and afterwards settled down in the main house.
After the settlement, my wife Bobbie and I drove to the new homes. I noticed that Brownie wasn't coming to greet us. When I called her, she just lay there and looked at me. With a little prompting she got up and went out with me on a leash. I noticed that she didn't want to go down the hill leading to the creek. This worried me so I went back to the girls and asked if anything had happened. They explained that Brownie had jumped out of the truck. They said she fell down but got right up. I told them that she had probably hurt her back.
Forward three days... Brownie had stopped eating and drinking. She had to be helped up to go outside. I had been getting up every morning to help her. On the third day, Bobbie decided to let me sleep and take Brownie out - only she didn't use the leash. Next thing Bobbie comes running into the house saying that Brownie had wandered off. I got up, dressed and we spent the next two hours looking for her. We didn't find her. My wife said that she had gone off to die. Bobbie knew how much I loved Brownie and wasn't looking forward to me having to take her to the vet to be put to sleep.
I wouldn't give up. I prayed that God would intercede and Brownie would come back. I went around to the neighbors and told them that my dog had wandered off and if they saw her to please call me. I went back home and started looking again. We have some dense underbrush leading down to the creek in some areas. The vines with thorns were all over the place. I started cutting away some of them and trying to look down towards the creek. That's when I spotted her. Brownie was lying on her side. I didn't know if she was alive or dead. I couldn't see if she was breathing. I called to her and she didn't move or make a sound.
This area of the woods dropped off about 15 to 20 feet. Fallen trees and thorns covered everything. I called for my wife to come. By the time Bobbie got there, I had worked myself down about 15 feet. I was standing on a fallen tree and the drop off from there was about another 10 feet, right into the thorns. Bobbie was worried that I'd fall and then there would be two of us in trouble. We stayed there looking and calling to Brownie for what seemed hours with no response from her.
I felt helpless beyond anything I'd ever felt. Perched on the fallen tree, I really didn't know if I would be able to get back up or go down to Brownie. All I could do was pray, cry and keep calling her. Two hours had passed and it was getting hot. Bobbie had gotten a chair and was keeping an eye on me. She didn't want me there and she didn't want me to go down farther and not be able to get back out. I was torn between not going and wondering if I could get back up from where I was. My legs were beginning to hurt from standing all that time and I tried to sit down. I started sliding off the tree and decided to go down.
Bobbie yelled to me as I disappeared down the hill. I dropped down about ten feet into the thorns and used my shirt to start tearing them away. I yelled back up to Bobbie that I was OK and that I thought I could get to Brownie if I tried. Bobbie was scared that now I was stuck too.
It took me another hour to finally get to Brownie. She was cover with flies. I kept swinging my shirt over her to chase them away but they kept coming back. All the time they were biting me. Brownie had gotten too close to the drop-off on the hill and fallen down there. I knew she had really hurt herself this time. I tried to get her up and moving but she laid there and didn't move. Her breathing was very shallow. I knew she was either dying or hurt too bad to move.
When I relayed this to Bobbie, we were both crying. Bobbie pleaded with me to come back up. Because I didn't know if I could, I told her that I didn't want Brownie to die alone and I would stay with her until the end. Through my tears I told Bobbie that because of where Brownie was I wouldn't even be able to bury her. Bobbie just kept praying for both of us.
An hour later, I'm trying to sit, bleeding from being cut by the thorns and thirsty. Again I'm using my shirt to pull the vines away from Brownie and myself so that I can sit down next to her. I'm finally able to sit. I'm petting her, trying to comfort her. Her breathing is stopping every now and then. I can't stop crying, thinking about all the love she has given us through out the years. And now I can't even help her or give her a decent burial.
Bobbie has gone back to the house and I feel all alone. Brownie is no longer looking at me and for the first time I realize that I might not be able to get her out. As I'm crying, I start working my way back up the hill. When I get to the fallen tree, I look back at Brownie and see that I can't get her back up with me. Before I start trying to climb up the tree Bobbie comes back. She has a blanket with her and asks if I can cover Brownie up so that the flies can't get to her. I'm at a spot where Bobbie can see the top of my head and I tell her to throw it and then get some bottled water and throw it down too.
After getting the blanket and water I return to Brownie. Only she doesn't want the water and because it was so hot I only used the blanket to place under her head. I tried to comfort her and get her up one more time. When I fail, I said goodbye to her and headed back up.
When I get to the house Bobbie hugs me and we cry together. I still felt all alone and went into my bedroom and prayed that somehow God would get her back for me. Meanwhile Bobbie comforts me telling me how good a life Brownie has had. She says that Brownie knew she was dying and went down there to die and she did this to save me from having to take her and have her put to sleep. Bobbies' words don't help.
I feel just as bad for not being able to help her. I have to sit down and drink something before I pass out from the heat and hunger. After eating something, I feel better and tell Bobbie I'm going back to see if Brownie is dead. She was not where I left her.
On my way back, one of our neighbors comes into the back yard and says that a dog is in their back yard and it might be Brownie. I say it can't be because of where she is. My neighbor tells me that the creek cycles every 9 hours and is almost dry. If Brownie was thirsty, she could have walked down to the creek and then wandered up into their yard.
My heart jumps and I'm off with the neighbor to get Brownie. When we get to their yard I see it's not Brownie. It's someone else's dog. I explain to them that where she is there are thousands of vines with thorns and that even if she tried I don't think she could get to the creek. The man tells me that if he walks down to where she is he'll bring a machete to cut the vines and bring her out. I asked if that was possible. He said they walk down the creek all the time at low tide. I told him I'd run back to the house and go down where Brownie was and call to him.
By the time I got back to the house he was already in the area in the creek. I yelled to him that Brownie had indeed moved. I don't see her. He said he knew where I was and would start cutting his way in. I quickly climbed back up and went down in an area where I could climb down into the creek. Bobbie brought out some boots for me and I quickly changed. I climbed into the creek and started walking down to where I thought he was. I couldn't see him but I could hear him cutting away.
Then he yelled that he had found her. He asked what her name was and if she would bite him. I told him that I didn't think she was in any shape to do anything. Next thing I know I see him carrying Brownie out of the thorns. I made my way over to him and took her. Trying to walk in creek mud isn't easy.
As I made my way to our back yard, I fell. I was covered from head to toe in mud. The man helped me back up and as I started up the bank I fell but managed to lift Brownie up to Bobbie. My daughters were there by then and helped carry her up to the house. Because of the creek mud we had to wash her off outside with the hose along with me.
We got Brownie into the house and tried to get her to drink and eat. She didn't want anything and it was too late to take her to the vet. I walked back down to the neighbors and thanked them.
The next day, along with my daughter, we used a blanket to carry Brownie out to my car. She was no longer walking. Once, at the vet, she acted like she was perking up. The vet checked her out and said she had indeed hurt her back. He said he'd give her a shot for the pain, pills and said if she didn't start coming around we should bring her back and maybe put her to sleep.
Over the next three days Brownie started improving. I'm happy to say that she is back to her old self and doing extremely well. I don't know what I'll do when she finally does die, but until then I'll love her with all my heart, just as she does, unconditionally.
Thinking back to my neighbor, I now realize that it was God that sent him. Angels don't all have wings; some walk this Earth and at some point in their lives are called into action. This was and is my neighbor. Thank you neighbor, you've earned your wings. And for those of you that pray, God DOES answer Prayer!
--- Copyright © 2004 Richard Causey
WHEN YOU SAY SOMEONE IS BEAUTIFUL,
WHAT ABOUT CHARACTER?
Remember... when beauty fades, character remains
October 4, 2004
I've been looking forward to asking the general public this question on beauty. I found out that a number of men out there are going crazy for anything in skirt. You need to be told that beauty is just for a while. At a particular age, you will not be able to brag about your beauty because it going to fade with time, but character, which is part of you, can always be there because it's what you exhibit everyday.
You could be handsome or beautiful, but you're going to have no pride to protect if you meet a critical person who's interested in your character. If you think you're getting married to a beauty queen, you will know the real beauty when supper time becomes, the time for fasting and prayer or the first thing she does in the morning is to get your office clothes rumpled.
Why not let us agree that character is the real beauty of any man because it does not fade and it's a pride?
--- Copyright © 2004 Fola Daniel
THE PEER PRESSURE PRAYER
October 4, 2004
O God, my son will one day face peer pressure
When he goes to day care
Or Kindergarten or Nursery school
I pray that he will not be a peer pressure fool
O God, please guard his heart and life
And let you and I be his examples
To deter him from violence, cigarettes, drugs and alcohol
I pray he will be strong and never want to sample
O God, please enable me to lead, protect
And warn my son
Of the devils disguise
And of his peers deception and lies
O God, please protect my son
Thank you God, the Almighty One
--- Copyright © 2004 Monique Nicole Fox
My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them.
~Proverbs 1:10, New Intl Version~
WHERE ARE YOU GOD?
October 4, 2004
Where are you God?
I need to know.
How do I find you?
Where should I look or go?
God answered,
"I am the air and a breeze.
I am the tall majestic trees.
I am the west, east, south, and north.
I am the sky, heaven, and earth.
I am the bright morning star.
I am the strength you need when opening a jar.
I am the enchanting moonlight and radiant sun.
I am the Almighty One.
I am the Artist that painted nature's canvas.
I am the man, woman or child you walk past.
I am the wind that kisses your cheek.
I am the creator of the seven days of the week.
I am the first and the last.
I am the present and the past.
I am the breath you take.
I am the ocean, sea, bay and lake.
I am the only way.
I am the night and day.
I am the truth, life and vine.
I am the judge of all mankind.
I am the destructive hurricane and tornado.
I am the cause of many calamities and fiascos.
I am the light of the world.
Did I answer your question my child, my girl?"
"So, my child, just remember that I am always around.
And that my greatness and splendor can always be found.
Spread this revelation and goods news all over town.
Go and let your poetry be like a trumpet sound."
--- Copyright © 2004 Monique Nicole Fox
The One forming light and creating darkness, Causing well-being and creating calamity;
I am the LORD who does all these.
~Isaiah 45:7~
BLESSED BY LOVE
October 4, 2004
You are the most beautiful love I have ever had in my life
The way you touch me so deeply is my strength and hope for each day
I want to love as pure as you love
And I know I will someday
You've changed me completely
To trust and open the doors to all the secrets with in me
Slowly you help me to close each one and put it all behind me.
May our love never become distant
Only close to our souls
Where the blessings abound for each of us
And time is nonexistent.
Here is where I want to stay for as long as you will allow
May fate take it's place within our lives
And show us the truth right now.
I love you more dearly than I could ever truly express
Only with my smile for now
But soon it will be crystal clear.
Our souls where meant to be intertwined
Even if its for a short time
But the blessings of love you have given me
Will be always and forever mine.
--- Copyright © 2004 Jennifer D. Springer
THE BUTTERFLY AND THE FLOWER
September 20, 2004
Silently I wait
As the time creeps by
Like a caterpillar within its cocoon.
Waiting and waiting
For the beautiful butterfly to emerge.
You can't see it change, rearranging its life
But deep within you know it is all happening.
Everyone knows the beauty that lies within
But not to its fullest extent.
It is only the caterpillar that truly knows.
The curiosity builds and everyone is waiting,
They say "now is the time".
But she does not emerge when they speak
For she is not prime.
A few more twists
A few more turns
Within the tiny cocoon
And the most beautiful thing anyone has ever seen
Will come forth into life and bloom.
The true intensity of her power is rarely known to any
But one sweet special flower will experience her intensity.
With each stroke of her wing and the gentle grasp of her feet
Her touch will intoxicate him.
No matter who tries to capture her heart
She always returns home.
Home to were the honey is so sweet
The nectar is so indescribable
But to touch and taste
Feel and smell
No other will ever be beside her.
No one can match every piece of her he has touched.
No one could mask her eyes quite as much.
For her heart is content and feels at home more than she ever has
But the fear does not cease or change her path
For it is what has to come to pass.
A lesson is learned by each who encounters her
And crosses beneath her wind
But only the special and true of heart
Will ever know when it begins.
The caterpillar is not quite beautiful
Or interesting to any
But a pest and a nuisance
A waste of time to oh so many.
Until she sees that beautiful flower
And attaches herself to him.
Which then begins her peaceful sleep
And all the changing within.
For the flower is truly who's changing her
To the beautiful peaceful creature she's longed to be
And no one could ever see what's within or lies beneath.
Only the flower who opens his eyes
To and beyond the present
Will ever get to experience
Her and the very sweetness of her essence.
Copyright © 2004 Jennifer D. Springer
MY SHIP AND MY CAPTAIN
September 4, 2004
My ship, traveling into the oceans called life,
It carries people; good, bad, beautiful, ugly, poor, rich, young and adult.
On our journey sometimes waves come up roaring,
With storms that batter recklessly.
But the walls of my ship are built firmly,
No matter how hard the situation, my Captain maneuvers wisely.
My entire load, I trust to Him to keep it safe.
With his expertise, I need not to worry.
Sometimes the water is calm and sunshine makes my ship glittery,
And sometimes the air blows angrily, makes my ship quiver enormously.
Frightening thunder and horrible sharks ready to attack my load mercilessly,
But my Captain I trust.
I can sleep well, peacefully.
Onto their destination, they can go victoriously,
Because of my Captain, I truly trust sincerely.
--- Copyright © 2004 Rapport-Ja
LORD, I AM GRATEFUL
September 4, 2004
God, how can I say thanks for all you've done for me?
For standing beside me on the lonely road of fear,
For lifting me out of the dry valley of despair,
For holding me close during the thundering storms of doubt,
Lord, I'm grateful.
For walking before me through the dark forest of trepidation,
For carrying me over the river of worry,
For bathing me in the fountain of peace,
Lord, I am grateful.
For clothing me with the robe of your forgiveness,
For covering me with the veil of your mercy,
For pouring over me the perfume of hope,
Lord, I am grateful.
--- Copyright © 2004 Marsha Jordan
CANYON JUMP
September 4, 2004
I wrote this two months before Evel Knievel's Snake River Canyon jump took place.
It is early in morning as you walk toward the special skycycle, you see your name painted in block letters on it's side. You know why it's there. You designed it, you built it, you conceived the whole idea, a stunt never done before.
As you look up toward the special vehicle, you hear the build up of voices. They're all around you. It's the people. They've come to see you, to see you do your best.
Before you know it, it's time to get ready. As you walk away you look back and see the sun gleaming brightly on your skycycle. You think will it do its job? Will it get you to the other side? There is no time to think about it. Now, you must get ready. Jump time is almost here.
You start to get your special suit on. You start to think again. You know there's a chance you could crash, lose everything. But you cannot back down; you said you would do it, so you must do it.
Those people out there expect you to get out there and fly to the other side. Now you are ready; special suit, gloves and boots, every thing is ready.
Now you are outside looking toward the monstrous ramp that will launch you out over the canyon. You start walking to the skycycle and you hear the people cheering. You feel something funny in your stomach. Was it the food? Is it the jump? You do not know.
You continue walking. Your crew is waiting, they are waiting to strap you into the vehicle. You ask yourself will it work?
You walk up to the skycycle and run your hand across the smooth body metal. Then you look up at the ramp and down again. Now you start to climb into the cockpit, it takes you almost ten minutes to get in. It's so small you're so big. Now you are in, sitting in the contour seat. Your crew straps you in; making sure everything is secure. They hand your helmet; you put it on. They're securing the canopy and your heart starts pounding.
Now you are ready. Everyone backs away; there is complete silence. You sit there in the cockpit; you are motionless. Soon you will be speeding at four hundred miles per hour.
You reach up to the lever that will fire up the powerful jet engine behind you. You push it forward. All of a sudden you are smashed into the seat; the G forces are building up. Can your body take it?
Now you see the giant ramp coming at you; faster and faster. Soon you feel your body slammed down again, you are on the ramp. All of a sudden nothing you see nothing, you are off the ramp and you see nothing. Seconds seem like minutes as you fly outward, soon you see the other side. You reach up to the parachute deployment lever, your muscles ache but you must pull it. You reach it, you pull it, and the vehicle jerks violently. Soon it is a smooth decent, you close your eyes for a moment; soon you see the ground coming up.
You are aching all over but your body survived it; your skycycle, your own creation, has survived it. Contact!! You feel the jolt as your machine hits the ground.
YOU HAVE DONE WHAT THEY SAID COULD NOT BE DONE !!!!
--- Copyright © 1974 Lenny Schmidt
September 8, 2004 will be the 30th anniversary of Evel Knievel's Snake River Canyon jump attempt. The events leading up to the jump helped me get through a very difficult time in my life. I got to see it on closed circuit. It now sounds like Evel's son, Robbie, will soon make his own assault on Snake River Canyon.
BE A '"HUMAN BEING" INSTEAD OF A "HUMAN HAVING"
September 4, 2004
So often we try to create our identity with what we have, with our possessions and our position, yet our identity is actually created by our behavior, by what we do and more importantly by how we do what we do. What really matters is not what you have got or the position that you hold, but who you are and how you behave.
We have become a society where we tend to measure a persons status by their possessions and their position. We no longer measure them by their contribution to society. This has created an enormous pressure to constantly flaunt the trappings of "success" the material things that create the impression of status.
Yet the very drive to constantly acquire the trappings of "success" creates a problem. The problem of spending money that you don't have, to buy things that you don't need, so that you can impress people that you don't like.
This leads to constant insecurity, firstly can I afford these things and secondly, what if someone gets something bigger, better, faster, brighter. You sacrifice your peace of mind for the illusion of material comfort and power.
We have to learn to do more with less. Realise that your personality is more important than your possessions. Realise that what you do is more important than what you've got. Realise that how you do what you do is more important than what you do.
Your actions have a greater influence on your reputation than the position you hold or the possessions you accumulate. The one thing that you take with you where ever you go, is you. Make sure that you are worth taking along. Realise that all possessions and positions are transient, here today gone tomorrow. Think of all the changes that have already taken place in your life. The only constant is "you".
So choose to "Be a 'Human Being' instead of a 'Human Having'".
--- Copyright © 2004 Johan V. Campbell
FOR I NEVER SEEM TO KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY
August 30, 2004
For I never seem to know when to walk away
And return again some other day.
I always tend to overstay
And never learn to go my way.
Love and life seem funny that way.
For I never seem to know when to walk away.
I try so hard to figure out this mystery in my life
And ways to cease my endless strife.
Let me count the ways
While I pine away my desperate lonely days
Left to recount the error of my ways.
For I never seem to know when to walk away.
I search mind and soul for answers to my questions
My torn broken heart helps to provide me with some great suggestions.
For I never seem to know when to walk away.
Now I have found the answer in my one and only true love
And I'm here to shout, say,
I now have no need to ever walk away
For I'm finally here to stay.
Copyright © 2004 Joseph P. Martino
POEMS OF FRIENDSHIP
August 23, 2004
One day a friend of mine wrote me this poem:
=======================================================
this is entitled "MARCIAL"
As I read all your messages today
I couldn't help to thank God for sending you to me
I had tried to question & even hated this life's mystery
Yet how can I hate it now when mystery brought you to me?
I don't understand why of all people
I feel close to you when in fact I hated you before?
You seem so conceited to me, with all your philosophical beliefs,
Which irritated and challenged my interest.
Maybe God has just His own way
To inspire and enlighten my day
That all I do now is thank Him each day
For giving me "MARCIAL," such a friend who completes me.
=======================================================
I wrote her back, with this poem, entitled "KAREN"
Keeping in touch with a girl
I am one day this stranger
To one I have never met
I share my life and wit
A moment when friendship bonds
Beyond the horizons of the seas
I dream for the day that this stranger sees
A friend in distant lands
Remember each day to be happy
Meet the challenges of life with glee
Remember from this stranger I say
"Reason may not be necessary!"
Every single day I wish
That this stranger by you be missed
And in this verse try to cherish
How much this stranger cares
Now 'til forever I say
Assured you are tho' I cannot pray
For things you want to be
A place in my heart's reserved for thee
Sent in by Marcial Sarmiento
THE MASTER OF MANY THINGS
August 16, 2004
As a child growing up, I always thought by the age of 50, I would be the master of many things. I would have traveled around the world, perhaps become famous, have a house in the country and one by the sea. I'd spend my days painting in the garden and my nights researching a cure for some hopeless disease.
That child has long since grown up and 51 years quietly embrace me. And while I shall never be the master of many things, I am leaving my mark;
I belong to a family who has proudly survived mental illness, brain tumors and war. A family whose humor and affection stand strong.
I am indebted to my friends who are a true joy - encouraging me, cherishing me, accepting me.
I am blessed to have an amazing mentor who guides me with wisdom, kindness and experience.
I work at a job where I can share my heart and make a difference. A job where I am surrounded by people who have truly changed my life for the better.
And so I travel not the world, but the roads in my small town, famous only to my friends, living in a house not by the sea but filled with a remarkable family. I spend my days satisfied with my work and my nights grateful and eager for what comes next.
I am content.
Copyright © 2004 Bernadette Ballezza
PRACTICE DYING
August 4, 2004
Plato was asked at the very end of his life to sum up his whole life's work, his philosophy, he said simply, "Practice Dying".
I've always loved to hear it when masses of understanding and wisdom are summarized in a few words.
'The Course in Miracles' is done so in this way; - "Nothing real can be threatened, nothing unreal exists."
Osho was once asked to sum up Zen, he just said, "let go". He was asked what was the essence of Tantra, the ancient eastern mystical art/science, he said, "Accept and surrender to what is."
Time and again he has described all real religion as learning how to die. As I see it all of these statements are basically saying the same thing. The essence is to discover/understand/experience "what is", what is "real" i.e.
Life/Love/God/Nature/Dharma/Tao etc, …then accept yourself as a part of it and surrender into it. To say, "Thy will be done".
Gradually all that's unreal dissolves or dies away (anything that can be lost was never truly yours) and you start to flow along with a deeper force and become your own destiny; to fulfill your potential, your purpose to experience your intrinsic nature. It's like a seed dying to become a tree. A caterpillar has to die in a sense to become a butterfly.
As Rumi said, "When have I ever become less by dying???"
Basically you are learning to trust, to have faith. You are moving from a closed fist to an open hand. This process can heal many people, who were on the verge of death.
Maybe Plato was saying why wait until then, let go now and be transformed? This is something we can practice from moment to moment. Dying to the past, dying to the known, dying to the false. Surrendering into the unknown. Trusting what "is". Trusting God.
That's why they say, "Let go and Let God". I think that there is another way in which we can practice dying, a different side to the coin.
Stephen Levine once asked, "If you had a year to live what would you do, who would you call, what would you say and why are you waiting?????????" This could be a year, a month, a week, a day, an hour. Nothing is certain except the fact that each and every one of us will die. Knowing this (without fearing it) can inspire us, take us deeper into the present moment. Help us to live more fully and passionately. Encourage us to give everything of ourselves. To love, laugh, share and become closer to one another. To really live.
"Throughout the whole of life, one must continue to learn how to live, and what will amaze you even more, throughout life one must learn how to die."
Seneca
"When Rabbi Birnham lay dying, his wife burst into tears. He said, 'What are you crying for? My whole life was only that I might learn how to die."
Osho
"While I thought I was learning how to live, I was really learning how to die."
Leonardo Da Vinci
--- Copyright © 2004 Simon Heighwaya
EVER CHANGING
August 4, 2004
Suddenly I'm changing.
Turning around in circles.
Unprepared and racing,
Tired and getting nowhere!
Round and round
I can't seem to stop.
The momentum is ever going.
Will I find that place?
That stable place
Of the unchanging and all knowing.
No one knows.
Although I wish I could
To encourage every step I take.
But only I am the one who can understand
Every damn mistake.
Well maybe not.
This may not be true.
Maybe only understanding
Comes from within you.
So never fear
And never regret.
Even though your path is not straight.
Because the path you chose,
The time you take,
Changes with every step you make.
--- Copyright © 2004 Jennifer D. Springer
THE COLOR OF YOUR LOVE
August 4, 2004
'the color of your love, as yellow and radiant as the mid day sun.
colorful as a van Gogh piece,.....brighter than a painting by Matisse.
the color of your love
snowy white like a mountain peak, white as a dove of peace,.....
your love never seems to ebb or cease.
the color of your love
lips a rosy shade of red, the pureness of your smile,...that's never out of style.
the color of your love
eyes of chestnut brown,....your beautiful quaint familiar frown,.....
that makes my heart skip, race and pound.
the color of your love
hair golden as silken corn, skin so lovely and fair,.....
the color of your love is simply beyond compare.
--- Copyright © 2004 Joseph P. Martino
JACK IN THE BOX
August 4, 2004
OUGHT. SHOULD. MUST. Three small words with perilously explosive potential. "Handle with care" should have been as plain to see as a gorilla gone ballistic at a children's petting zoo. Frightened friends feigned the warnings. Fragile. Do Not Drop. A bitter boss caused the warnings. Beware Of Dog. No Trespassing. And Jack? Jack awakened one morning in a box that belonged to an authentic litigation attorney; a square peg with wrong motives in someone else's round hole.
Overworked and underpaid. Fed up with punishing put downs by the firm's senior partner, a once summer intern nicknamed Ned. Ned had been dead from the heart down 20 years or more. Jack had been born again since he was 19. Ned flirted with the King's English like King David flirted with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:3). Everyone that knew Jack knew something was wrong - really wrong. Fearing he might respond poorly, his friends kept their distance.
At home, Jack felt like a Jewish prisoner and his home had "Auschwitz" written in sign language all over it. Sentenced to death by silence. The silence stilled his faith and stifled his spirit. Prayer had become painful. Forgiveness felt like asphalt.
Five years ago, Jack flew into enemy air space and Ned had a good shot. Anxious to devour the newest associate, he fired ground-to-air missiles with deadly precision. Jack fought the good fight both in and out of the office for almost four years. During his fifth year with the firm, his faith began to fade and the good 'ol boys from the Bible Study walked away.
Could he and should he have picked up the shattered pieces of the man that still existed from better days he'd lived before? Good question and maybe you know the answer. Understand that months of unyielding pressure had impaired his eyesight. Understand that when we question another man's character we better have some answers to explain our own. Jack did what we've all done. He did what you might be doing now. He let the sun go down on his anger one time too many (Ephesians 4:26). He cracked open the door of doubt and devilish discouragement made a mad dash for the it and ushered guilt in to act as the assassin of his faith.
You see, Jack never planned to become an attorney after he completed his undergraduate work. His real passion wasn't a real job. Not his words, but those of his father. Painting was God's gift and calling and he knew it in his heart, not just his head (Romans 11:29). Yet, acquiring his father's acceptance won out over his passion as well as his sense of purpose.
Married to his high school honey as well as a high monthly mortgage payment didn't make quitting an appealing option. Already the proud father of one with one on the way added to his financial insecurities and so he opted to stay the course and put up with Ned's oral lashings.
Another day came and Ned's neurosis sought to fool around with Jack's self-worth. But this time he went for Jack's jugular. The tiny soft tissue of Jack's heart that refused to harden; the joy that still remained. Jack's remaining joy had run to greet him every evening without fail and sat on his lap and uttered, "It's okay daddy". Jack's remaining joy hadn't yet imagined a love that walked away without a kiss goodnight. Jack's remaining joy said, "daddy," but saw Superman. Jack's remaining joy was his four year old boy, Jacob. Jacob, unlike Jack's busy wife and hushed friends, broke the silence and the code of conduct that so insidiously crept into their household.
Ned began to speak: "Should have got it right the first time, Jack. You ought to know by now that I expect perfection. Oh, and in case you forgot, it must be done today! If you want to act like Mr. Daddy-Do-Good before that bratty kid of yours goes to bed, you'd best get busy. Hope the boy has his mother's brains! Jack, I should have fired you a long time ago and saved the both of us a lot of heartache!"
Jack listened as his lips tightened. His blood pressure rose, his fists clinched. He closed his eyes and imagined Jacob's smile. He said nothing to Ned as he was blinded by the stack of bills he'd seen on the kitchen table before he left for work four hours earlier. Jack walked out in silence. He'd grown wearily used to it. He sat down as his face felt unusually tingly. He ignored it. He began to prepare his mind for a long night. A long night it would be for everyone but Jack.
You see, Jack's drive to meet the deadline caused his heart to flat line. Jack died in the box that belonged to an authentic litigation attorney. Dead at 35 from a massive heart attack. Found in his office chair the next morning by none other than Ned
Jack's joy remained. His little boy and God's miraculous creation. Jacob, like his daddy's friends, knew something was wrong. Jacob's love endured. Jacob's love stepped in when fear-wrought men walked out. He fell asleep where his daddy slept the night before. Daddy didn't come home to announce his departure or to plant a farewell kiss on his son's cherished cheek. Jesus walked in soon after Jacob had fallen asleep, and whispered in his tiny ear, "Your daddy's Home with Me."
Rather depressing story isn't it? Feeling like Jack? Jammed into a job that's joyless? You read the story and allow me to add that if you can relate, you are but one of millions. Jesus knew His disciples before hand. Matthew made nothing more than money before Jesus came along. Tax collector? Omnipotence knows our potential, His purpose, plan and specific calling for our lives.
A Jack in the box. As children, an amusing toy. Turn the crank, listen to the cheap composition, and eventually Jack pops up for a breath of fresh air. As adults, being a Jack (or Jill) in the box has been and continues to be a claustrophobic nightmare. May I encourage you to read Romans 11:29 and then Jeremiah 29:11?
Soon after reading Max Lucado's book, "It's Not About Me," I felt compelled to write and the above story is what flowed out in short order. May we all become about being God's Son Reflectors by simple obedience in using the gifts and fulfilling the calling He has provided each and every one of us.
--- Copyright © 2004 Brian G. Jett
BELIEVE IN YOUR HEART
August 4, 2004
Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen.
Love your life.
Believe in your own powers and your own potential and in your own innate goodness.
Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive.
Discover each day the magnificent awesome beauty in the world.
Explore and embrace life in yourself and in everyone you see each day.
Reach within to find your own specialness.
Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day.
Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect.
This is the essence of your humanity.
Let those who love you help you.
Trust enough to be able to take.
Look with hope to the horizon of today for today is all we truly have.
Live this day well.
Let a little sun out as well as in.
Create your own rainbows.
Be open to all your possibilities - All possibilities and Miracles.
Always believe in Miracles.
--- Author Unknown
LIFE STILL HAS A MEANING
August 4, 2004
If there is a future there is time for mending
Time to see your troubles coming to an ending.
Life is never hopeless however great your sorrow
If you're looking forward to a new tomorrow.
If there is time for wishing then there is time for hoping
When through doubt and darkness you are blindly groping.
Though the heart be heavy and hurt you may be feeling
If there is time for praying there is time for healing.
So if through your window there is a new day breaking
Thank God for the promise, though mind and soul be aching,
If with harvest over there is grain enough for gleaning
There is a new tomorrow and life still has meaning.
--- Author Unknown
TOOLS
July 26, 2004
Your courage and belief in yourself will be tested many, many times in your life. How you will react is up to you. Do you believe in yourself? Have you been able to overcome adversity before? Do you have the necessary tools to help you through the difficulty?
If you answered yes, then you have it in you to do it over and over again - each time you get knocked down. Most of us have been knocked hard, more than once, more than twice. With the proper tools, we didn't let it wreck our life or our image of ourselves. We thought, "Okay, there is some lesson here I need to learn", and moved forward again.
We were the lucky ones. We had that belief that we could do anything; be anything, and go anywhere we wanted and had the tools ready when we needed them. We weren't afraid of the unknown - we knew that sometimes we'd falter, but that's how we learned.
For those who couldn't pick themselves back up - there's hope. You can do it too - it will take time, commitment, action and determination. You will need to surround yourself with tools that can help you break through your barriers. Like a mechanic, we all need tools to help us refine their skills for dealing with disappointment, hurt, anger and grief.
Tools can come in many forms - written material, recorded material, images, and of course, people. You will have to try many, usually, before you find the right combination. But once you do, look out! All of a sudden the light bulb will go off in your head and you will think, "I get it, I understand what I have to do to move forward".
Do something nice for yourself today - take a minute to reflect on what you want to happen and then start looking for the tools that will help you complete your plan.
Have a terrific week!
Marlene
A TRUE MOTIVATIONAL STORY
July 14, 2004
This is a motivational story based on my own experience. Whilst on face of it, it may purely inspire those trying to lose weight, it is actually designed to encourage anyone who feels that they are in an impossible situation and feel it is too late to do anything about it.
As a child there was something different about me. I was bright, funny and healthy, so why did other people treat me with such contempt. I was suffering from a kind of prejudice that is still prevalent today. I was fat. With this prejudice came several assumptions. Because I was fat I was obviously lazy. Because I was fat I was obviously stupid. Because I was fat I smelt, I was unfashionable, I didn't deserve friends.
For reasons far beyond the scope of this tale, family life was difficult for me as a child, so I sought solace in the only thing that made me happy. That thing was food. So from a very young age I was caught in a trap. My weight made me depressed, so I ate to take away those feelings of sorrow. In turn, the food made me put on weight. By the time I was eight I was in adult clothing. It was a little long in the leg maybe, but the waist fitted like a dream.
As the years went by, the few people I felt I could call friends drifted away and I became a victim of bullying at school. I was lucky that there was never anything physical, but the name calling was awful. Even stares in the playground became unbearable. The school seemed to take the attitude that it was my fault. If I lost weight all the bullying would stop. They were probably right, but I couldn't find the heart to lose weight and couldn't stand another minute at that school. At the age of 14 I dropped out and became a virtual recluse, sometimes even refusing to leave my room, let alone my house.
My teenage years passed me by. As my peers were out in pubs and clubs, getting jobs and finding girlfriends, I stayed in my room. My doctor showed terrible concern for me, finally advising that my weight was likely to kill me and my quality of life prior to this was to be severely reduced. All this was water off a ducks back - I had no quality of life so perhaps if I did nothing and let the inevitable happen I would feel no more pain.
But there was a small part of me that wanted my life back. My soul had been buried under folds of fat and was screaming to be revealed. I took a look in the mirror. I was soon to be 21 years old. I weighed over 400 pounds. I was unqualified, unemployed, penniless and without a friend in the world. I wore rags tied up with string because at this time there were no specialist shops to deal with 'large physiques'. There had to be more to life than this! I made the decision that I was going to lose weight.
For my 21st birthday I received a set of cheap plastic dumbbells and I set off to the library to find out information on how my body worked. If I could figure out how my body had become this terrible mess, perhaps I could reverse the process.
I reduced the calories in my diet and tried to cut out as much fat as I could. I began to go walking - just a couple of hundred yards at first because I became very breathless and my legs became sore as the layers of fat rubbed together. But after a few weeks the distance began to increase. After a short time the scales (two sets, because one set wouldn't hold my weight!) began to show a loss of weight.
This was the first time in my life that my weight hadn't actually gone up! This gave me tremendous motivation to carry on. Pound after pound the weight slipped away, and after two years I had finally hit my target weight. I had lost about 250 pounds. But I couldn't get back my childhood. I was still unqualified, unemployed and without friends. The difference now was that I had the confidence to do something about it. I had found something I was good at, I just had to find a way to take that forward. I approached a local charitable trust that was impressed by my achievement and they provided me with a grant to become a qualified fitness instructor.
I had grown to love exercise and the money I made I ploughed back into my business so I could learn more exercise techniques.
This was over ten years ago, and I have bucked the trend of yo-yo dieting. I am still slim and run my own personal training business and have a completely different life full of satisfaction and fulfilment. I also run the Overweight and Obesity Organization, a non-profit organization that sets out to give help, advice and support to those who are now in a similar position to that which I was in over a decade ago. I don't wish the feelings I had in my youth upon anyone, and this is my way of trying to help.
--- Copyright © 2004 Jon LeBon
ORIGINAL FACE
July 14, 2004
Who were you before you were born? What was your face before your parents were born? Can you imagine yourself being a thousand years younger? Who will you be after you have died? In a thousand years from now? Who are you now…here. Deep down, really, truly, authentically, basically, simply.
The answer to all these questions is the same, and once you know, you know. You remember…it is just a case of remembering. The way I see it is this: Virtually from the day we're born we begin to play roles. We start to adapt, to fit in, to conform. Throughout our lives we will play thousands of roles (Daughter, Son, Mother, Father, Friend, Grandparent, Stockbroker, Bus Driver etc.)
The problems come when we become too identified with these roles. We forget that we are the one who is playing the role. The word "personality" comes from the root word "persona", which means mask. We wear millions of different masks throughout our lives, changing them for every role, every occasion.
The trouble is we do this unconsciously and eventually begin to see ourselves as others see us. We start to look at ourselves through other people's eyes, from the outside in. We forget that we are the ones behind the mask, looking out. We allow ourselves to be pushed and pulled away from our true, real, authentic centre, our home.
We will have many, many different experiences, but we are none of them. We are the one who is having the experience, the experience-er. Life is a dream and we are the dream-er. The eye of the hurricane, the real centre.
If we begin to think of ourselves as the role, the mask, the dream or the experience, sooner or later these ideas will become more solid and they will become imaginary walls around us - separating us from each other and from existence itself. This is hell; this is illusion.
Basically it is essential to, at some point, witness all of this going on. Through meditating, spending time alone etc., you can gain a glimpse of your Real Self / True Nature / Original Face.
Once this has happened, it is so much easier to see all the layers of personality, conditioning and falsity. You can peel it away like peeling an onion or carve it away like Michelangelo releasing the 'angel' from the marble. But the trick is that once you can see it and feel how heavy it is, how constricting, what a burden… it is pretty easy to drop it, to surrender it, to just let it go
This is what it means to "Die before you die". To me this is the most essential thing in life, because by doing this you understand what is Love/Freedom/Peace/God/Reality/Oneness. You understand that all these words mean the same thing and it is the essence of Who You Are. In that moment, you have come back home.
--- Copyright © 2004 Simon Heighwaya
NOW-HERE
July 14, 2004
"The only aspect of time that is eternal is Now" --- A Course in Miracles
For years and years and years I have been interested in spiritual ideas and concepts. There are as many different paths to take as there are people to take them. What I've always looked for are the points that they all agree on and there are just a few.
First - the idea of "knowing thyself"
They all have different names for the "self"; some even say there's no (individual) self. But basically you have to discover what you are/what you are not.
Second - they all agree that "Love is the answer"
Love is the cause of life, the reason for life or indeed "Love is life itself". Love is healing, redeeming, creative, etc. Love is what we are, why we are, "the art of giving", compassion forgiveness, God is Love, only Love is real
Third - that we are all one, that there is no separation/division in existence.
Anything that appears to be separate in anyway is an illusion, a trick of the mind.
Basically all of the above are the same, the are all just a matter of distinguishing what is Real from what is False. What is, from what is not. This is done by surrendering / letting go / accepting / forgiving / dying (not necessarily physically!) etc.
The thing to remember is that you CANNOT lose or get away from what is Real. That will always be, eternally, and you are in it, you are it!
Fourth - "to live this moment, only this moment, no past no future, just be-here-now".
All Religious/Spiritual/New Age teachings agree on is.
Jesus once described what it was like in "The Kingdom of God". He said, "There would "be time no more."
Buddhists say the same about Nirvana. They say it's a state of timelessness.
Jesus and Buddha may seem very different but they agree that the ultimate is nowhere, or rather Now-Here.
"If Past to Future is on a horizontal line, the present moment is not in time - it is a vertical movement - transcending time."
--- Osho
Apparently one of the meanings of Jesus' cross is the passing from the horizontal line to the vertical; it's a dying from time to the timeless, from death to deathless. He was crucified with two thieves, one on either side; they represent the past and the future and both of these will steal your happiness, your quality of life.
The ego, the mind, fear... cannot exist in the here and now. The present moment really is the only safe place. Remember that "the past is history, the future is a mystery, this moment is a gift... And that's why it's called the present."
--- Copyright © 2004 Simon Heighwaya
THE LITTLE THINGS
AGE 12
When I grow up, I want to be rich and famous. I want to have a huge beautiful house. I want to have all the money in the world. I want to want for nothing.
AGE 18
I know I'm all grown up now. I want to leave, to run, and to live my own life. I want my parents to let me be, I know what I'm doing. I want my friends to be the most important things in my life. I want to live life fast, and relax later. I want to live life by my own rules. I want have everything now, no matter the consequences. I want to be left alone. I want to live in the here and now, and worry about the future later.
AGE 24
I know I have a lot of growing up to do. I want to listen to advice from others. I want to stop in the middle of Mother Nature, and take in the beauty of it all. I want fulfill the promises I made to those loved ones who have passed. I want to make my family the most important part of my life, for they have always been there. I want to live life, so that when I die, people rejoice, for mine was a life lived. I want my loved ones to know how sorry I am for the way I was. I want to slow down, and enjoy every second, because so many do not. I want to see those loved ones at the beginning of life, grow, and make there way. I want to remember my past, but live in the present, and for the future. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to be here, stand back, and enjoy the 'The Little Things' in life.
The true measure of success, is measured by lives you touch, and those who touch yours.
--- Copyright © 2004 Matthew Dittrich
This seems to best explain who I once was, and who I have become. It's about spiritual harmony obtained.
ON CONDITIONING
July 14, 2004
1)
In India, when elephants are young they have a length of rope tied around one of their legs and attached to a wooden stake in the ground. This limits the distance they can go, and is apparently to keep them safe, secure and to stop them escaping.
The thing is, as these elephants get older, their minds become conditioned and a fully grown elephant will still go only as far a the length of the rope. All without realizing that now he could just walk away and has the strength to pull out the stake. (on attachment/clinging and letting go)
2)
Again in India, they have a fascinating way of catching monkeys. They hollow out a coconut, cut a small hole in the top and fasten it to the ground. With some of the monkeys, favorite sweets are placed under the hole (inside the coconut).
The monkey comes along, puts his hand inside and grabs the sweets. The thing is he can't get his hand out while he is clutching the sweets. He doesn't know how to just let go and walk away. This is how he gets trapped and maybe killed!! If he would just open his hand, let go, he'd be free. (on fear of death)
3)
A long time ago, in Tibet, an army was invading the country. People were leaving their villages long before the armies arrived because they had heard of their awful reputation for violence, killing etc. especially the General.
The army arrived in a small village and just like in all the other little villages, it was apparently deserted except… there was a little monk just sitting there meditating. When he was found, the General was alerted and was furious. He demanded to see the monk. He looked at the monk and said, "Do you not know who I am? I can cut off your head with this sword without batting an eye".
The monk replied smiling, "Do you not know who I am, sir," and paused," I am the one who can have his head cut off without batting an eye.
Apparently the General was so taken aback and humbled that he bowed and left the monk alone.
--- Written in 2004 by Simon Heighwaya
JUNE EDITION 2004
RICKY'S POEM
June 14, 2004
The first time I laid my eyes on you, I fell in love and vowed to do my very best
To teach you love and happiness
I watched your first smile and wiped away your little tears
And I bandaged your pain throughout the years.
I watched you sleep and felt at peace that you were a God given gift to me.
You gave my life meaning in such special ways and I have touched heaven in your embrace. And thanked God every night for his awesome grace.
There is no amount of money, security, or fame
that will ever top the blessings I have gained.
My son, you touched the depths of my soul and I love you more than you will ever know!
Copyright © 2004 Soulies
ACHIEVING HAPPINESS
June 14, 2004
Smile, be happy, accept who you are,
Achieve your dreams and you will go far.
When things are bad and not going your way,
Don't give up there's always another day.
When running a race, you begin at start;
Don't back down, follow your heart.
Life is not always a piece of cake,
Sometimes you give, sometimes you take.
Life is not about keeping score or things that happened in the past,
It's about how many lives you've touched and the love that will always last.
So travel the road life gives you,
And take your time to find the real you.
--- Copyright © 2004 Anna Dionne
I recently had to move away from my friends and family that I have known almost all my life. It was very hard to move on and make new friends. It was also hard for me to find myself and who I was. I had to accept the truth and move on. Sometimes life gives you roadblocks and by getting over those roadblocks (with help from God) , you will truly achieve happiness.
SHINE
June 9, 2004
IT'S TIME
I SUPPOSE
I'M READY TO SHINE
SEE-
MY LIGHT
I AM THE ONE STANDING BEHIND THE ONE BEHIND THE OTHER ONE
CAN YOU SEE -
ME
I STANDING THERE LOOKING AT YOU OUR EYES MEET BUT YOU STILL CAN NOT SEE ME
MAYBE YOU CAN NOT SEE ME BECAUSE
I AM NOT THERE-
IN YOUR EYES
I AM SOMEWHERE-
BUT NOT WHERE YOU ARE
CAN YOU SEE-
ME
--- Copyright © 2004 Asia Felder-Watkins
GET OUT OF THE BOAT
June 9, 2004
I see the look in your eyes-that look caused by unimaginable pressure and grief, that look caused by helplessness and hopelessness, that look caused by incessantly rowing a boat that isn't going anywhere. I see the look because I know the feeling.
Get out of the boat.
Days and days I felt (and feel) like I was rowing a rickety boat across an ocean of sticky muck. And, no matter how hard I pulled, it kept sucking me in. Deep down I knew if anything was going to change, I had to get out of the boat. You have to get out of your boat. Granted, there is a sense of security in the boat. After all, it seems solid, gives at least some protection at times, and seems to be moving, even if only in a circle.
But what I thought was security was actually an anchor pulling me to the depths, robbing me of confidence and beauty and love and health.
Get out of the boat, I told myself. Just step out.
Of course when you do, you feel exhilarated for an instant, 'til you realize you've been in the boat so long you've forgotten how to swim. The muck is still all around you and now you don't even have a boat to keep you dry.
Swim, girl. Swim hard. Get to solid ground. For many, familiar beacons on shore from the past no longer offer any help and disappear. For the first time, you're swimming in new territory. But swim you must.
Get out of your boat.
Find solid ground.
Trust yourself. Trust others.
It will be all right. I promise
--- Copyright © 2004 Judy Mae Bingman
JESUS IN SCHOOL
June 9, 2004
Last week when I was driving my children to the park, we were listening to Carman's song " We need God in America again". David, my seven year old son, asked me to explain the song to him. I said that there were some people who did not like prayer in school and did not want God's name uttered in school so they passed a law that prayer should not be allowed in public schools.
To better explain to his tiny mind (I underestimated) I said," Well, they said no more Jesus in school". He instantaneously replied, " If Jesus is not allowed in school, Satan should not be allowed in school either". I was wonderstruck of his profound request. His little heart knows where Christ is not allowed, Satan automatically creeps in.
As parents and believers in Christ, let us all unite in prayer for our children and the future generation praying that Christ will be in their hearts, because there is no rule that Christ is not allowed in your heart.
--- Copyright © 2004 Caroline Naoroji
PANCAKES
June 9, 2004
Six year old Brandon decided one Saturday morning to fix his parents pancakes. He found a big bowl and spoon, pulled a chair to the counter, opened the cupboard and pulled out the heavy flour canister, spilling it on the floor. He scooped some of the flour into the bowl with his hands, mixed in most of a cup of milk and added some sugar, leaving a floury trail on the floor which by now had a few tracks left by his kitten.
Brandon was covered with flour and getting frustrated. He wanted this to be something very good for Mom and Dad, but it was getting very bad. He didn't know what to do next, whether to put it all into the oven or on the stove, (and he didn't know how the stove worked!).
Suddenly he saw his kitten licking from the bowl of mix and reached to push her away, knocking the egg carton to the floor. Frantically he tried to clean up this monumental mess but slipped on the eggs, getting his pajamas white and sticky. And just then he saw Dad standing at the door.
Big crocodile tears welled up in Brandon's eyes. All he'd wanted to do was something good, but he'd made a terrible mess. He was sure a scolding was coming, maybe even a spanking. But his father just watched him. Then, walking through the mess, he picked up his crying son, hugged him and loved him, getting his own pajamas white and sticky in the process.
That's how God deals with us. We try to do something good in life, but it turns into a mess. Our marriage gets all sticky or we insult a friend or we can't stand our job or our health goes sour. Sometimes we just stand there in tears because we can't think of anything else to do. That's when God picks us up and loves us and forgives us, even though some of our mess gets all over Him. But just because we might mess up, we can't stop trying to "make pancakes," for God or for others. Sooner or later we'll get it right, and then they'll be glad we tried...
--- Author Unknown
YOUR CONSTANT COMPANION
June 9, 2004
I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.
Half the things you do might just as well be turned over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.
I am easily managed--you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great people and, alas, of all failures, as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a person. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin -- if makes no difference to me.
Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
Who am I?
I am habit!
--- Author Unknown
FINDING BALANCE
May 24, 2004
Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
The other four balls -- family, health, friends, integrity -- are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered. And once you truly understand the lesson of the five balls, you will have the beginnings of balance in your life.
--- From James Patterson’s "Suzanne’s Diary For Nichola"
--- Submitted by S.S., Age 14 --- North Dakota
SUNFLOWER
May 17, 2004
One cold November morning I noticed a sunflower coming into bloom on my patio. It was growing up from a crack between the house and the paving stones underneath the birdfeeder.
The little flower stood straight up. It had a thin stem with mottled green leaves and a small, round burst of bright yellow on top. It would never have made it into any flower shows, that's for sure. It was stunted, its bloom a crush of petals squashed together around its centre. They stuck up and out like a spikey hair-do, the biggest one no more than three-quarters of an inch long. It was a scrawny, misshapen little flower, and to me it was beautiful.
Beside it stood its much larger, and at one time, much grander sibling. A big, broad, perfectly formed flower once adorned the main stem. Five perfectly formed miniature versions of itself branched out below like accessories accentuating its beauty. But now, its leaves were crinkled and brown, the stalk yellowed like hay, the dry wilted flowers hanging down in petrified stillness. It had a different beauty now.
I sat and looked at these two flowers, and I wondered why I enjoyed them so much. I asked myself what they meant to me. The answer was very clear. They were a reminder to me of the mighty, unstoppable power of the life force. I looked at the little flower standing so proud and thought about will and determination, the carriers of that force. I remembered that struggles can be won and great things can be achieved against all odds... summer sunflowers do grow outside in the cold, dark days of early winter.
Looking at the splendor of each flower, I saw the glory of life past and the promise of life now, and I was reminded that renewal is a necessary part of life. It is what keeps life on this planet vibrant and alive. I was reminded renewal is a constant. Life never stops. And as I watched the bright splash of yellow dancing with abandon against the gray, windy skies, I remembered that renewal carries with it the seeds of hope and great joy.
In this world there is strife. There is hardship, and there is suffering. There is inequity. There is injustice. There is also abundant beauty amidst it all. And within that beauty there are reminders tucked away everywhere, encouraging us to persist, to strive, and to bring our dreams for a better world to life. We have only to open our hearts and look, and we will see them.
--- Copyright © 2001 Sally Scott
MISSING RIB
May 3, 2004
Good-bye... One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world. Midnight. Once again, he lit his cigarette and like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew she was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.
Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury. Most often than not, the outcome could be disastrous and detrimental. We vent 99% of our frustrations at our loved ones and even though we know that we ought to "think twice and act wisely", it's often easier said than done. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control.
Let us treasure every moment and everyone in our lives. If you plan to just value them tomorrow, tomorrow may never come... and you realize one of them could have been your missing rib.
--- Author Unknown --- Submitted by Carleen Irvine --- Arima, Trinidad and Tobago
I am sure you would have preferred to hear a happy ending to this story, where they met and made back up and lived happily ever after. But this did not happen. And so, this true story ends on a sad note. The good thing is that you and I still have the opportunities to make the stories in our lives have happy endings. So, don't let your missing rib or your rib-owner pass you by. Don't disappoint or hurt the people you care most about or who care most about you. You see you never know when they may be taken from you, so be sure to relate to them how much they mean to you and how much you love them, EVERYDAY.
AN ANGEL'S ATTITUDE
May 3, 2004
Every morning it is the same routine. She wakes up, gives a big yawn, and heads downstairs in the same old uniform. Not a glamorous job at all. Others might think that being a ballerina instructor to be the perfect job or career. Dance, stretch and teach others to dance and stretch their imaginations.
Remarkable lady, this gal is, however, she does the same old thing but to her it always appears to be somehow new - each and every single day. Don't get me wrong as she has her moments like I suppose we all do. She gets frustrated over the little stuff. Seems the biggest difference between this young woman and others that I have observed is the way she takes life in stride. In a nutshell, she just doesn't let anything or anyone break her stride.
Like a beautiful mare dancing in the wide open spaces in a dazzling display right after an equaling dazzling dawn, nothing that might present itself as an obstacle can break her stride. At least this is how it appears right now in her dancing career.
Can I ask you a question? Don't mean to be nosey or anything, but what uniform do you put on everyday? Whether a ballerina outfit or waitress uniform, I suppose any position can lose its once highly esteemed luster after a bit.
This little ballerina, unlike so many others with differing uniforms, can't stand having to go to bed but can't wait to get out of it in the morning. She works from home, so she is afforded the opportunity each Tuesday morning to gaze out of her front storm door at the men who pick up her hurby-curby. Kind of a drab, off green colored uniform these guys wear, but she enjoys this special time at the door as a highlight of her daily existence. She likes to make their jobs less repetitive as she musters up a big smile and gives them all a huge grin - all the while waving like it might be her last chance to do so.
Don't get me wrong because as we all know way too well, no one is perfect and she'll be the first to admit it. She says, "I'm sorry" with more sincerity than most I've met six times her age.
Sometimes I can't help but think that as soon as this or that change occurs in my life, all will be just a tad bit better. I think that she has learned a powerful lesson and it has to do with perception. The way she has chosen to perceive things, is the way she receives things.
She just hasn't allowed herself to see too many rainy days and Mondays, and the ones she has, clearly haven't ever ruined her morning, afternoon, or evening routine. Those 25 years her elder might be creating some chaos around her, but again, it doesn't seem to break her stride. She just keeps on dancing nonetheless.
In talking to her recently, she spoke of her plans for the future but even as she did she kept some semblance of her dancing going. If reminded of a mistake she made yesterday, she'll just give me a demure little smile as though I'm purposefully trying to be a kill-joy. Hmmmmmm. I hadn't given that much thought until now, but why do I or any of us rehash another's past? Good question and this wise little gal seems to know most of the answers. I guess longevity doesn't always equate to legitimacy.
I hope that she'll keep her job as a ballerina for many years to come so that I can keep learning simple life lessons from her. But I doubt that she will, if I look at the big picture or project way into the future like I too often tend to do. Nothing I could say or anything any of her other best friends could say could break her stride. She is destined for great things. Even if she some day changes from her ballerina outfit to a waitresses uniform, I kind of think she'll keep her bright attitude, fresh perspective, and unsophisticated purity.
Well, that's all I have to write about for now. I'd best get home before my wife helps her take off her ballerina uniform and get ready for bed. If I'm so blessed, I'll get to watch her dance and sing for me right before she says, "I love you daddy" as I walk out the door for work in the morning.
I wish I could take such moments and put them in a jar. I wish I could stop the world from turning and keep things just the way they are. I know that I can't, but I can always wish I could.
Love you Olivia,
Your daddy
--- Copyright © 2004 Brian G. Jett
WHEN DOES NIGHT END?
May 3, 2004
There is a story told of a rabbi in ancient times who gathered his students together very early one morning, while it was still dark. He put this question to them: "How can you tell when night has ended and the day has begun?"
One student made a suggestion: "Could it be when you can see an animal and you can tell whether it is a sheep or a goat?"
"No, that's not it," answered the rabbi.
Another student said: "Could it be when you look at a tree in the distance and you can tell whether it is a fig tree or a peach tree?"
Again the rabbi answered: "No."
After a few more guesses the students said: "Well, how do you tell when night has ended?"
The rabbi answered: "It is when you look on the face of any man or woman and you see them as your brother or sister. If you cannot do this, then, no matter what time it is, it is still night."
--- Jennifer Earl --- Submitted by Cameron H., Age 17 --- NSW, Australia
OH HEAVENLY PIZZA DUDE
May 3, 2004
The summer of 2002 was a bittersweet time for my three young children and me. For the first time since my divorce 5-years prior we were able to purchase our first home. The apartment we had moved from was too small for a family of four and when the time came to start searching for a place to live I prayed that somehow God would let me find a house I could buy. I realized that with my credit and the fact that I was a self-employed web designer the chances were slim. The September 11 terrorist attacks were wreaking havoc on my business. Normally I would be doing quite well at this time of the year but business owners were hesitant to spend money on web sites. Needless to say we were struggling financially. The chances that I would be able to find a home big enough for all of us in a good neighborhood at a price I could afford were slim.
I rallied my faith and prayed that God would pick the perfect house for us. Knowing that The Lord can do the impossible, I figured I would throw in my request to live on the water for good measure. Hey, faith knows no boundaries.
Exactly two days later I called a number in the classifieds advertising a home available for lease-option. The man at the other end of the phone gave me directions and when I arrived I almost fainted when I saw the home was on a huge lake. A tour of the home revealed a fairly good sized 3-bedroom, 2-bath, 2-car garage home in one of the most sought after family neighborhoods in Palm Beach County, Florida. The home was located in the best school district available. I knew instantly that this is where we belonged. The man who owned the house drew up the contract and I was leasing the home with an option to buy it in one year. He gave me free reign to make any changes I wished. The Lord answered my prayers in a mighty way. The lake the house sat on was a source of peace and at night the moon would reflect on the water making it look like millions of glittering lights. We were in Heaven. This was the place I needed to be in order to gain my strength, draw closer to God and where I always found peace.
In the middle of August 2002, money was non-existent. One of the women from my ladies only group helped me obtain school supplies in order for my kids to start school and even though things looked bad I believed The Lord had led me to this home that was really more than I could afford and I believed with all my heart He would make a way for me to pay for it. One afternoon after picking my two youngest kids up from school I noticed my car was on empty. Actually, it gave a new meaning to the words "on fumes". I handed my daughter my purse and told her to dig some change out of the bottom so we could get gas. I had searched my purse that morning and gave the kids my last $3.00 for lunch and I knew I had no currency.
My daughter pulled three, one dollar bills out of my purse and said "Mommy, why don't we just use this paper money?"
I asked her where she found the dollar bills and she told me they were "Right here in the pocket", this was impossible as I had given them the last $3.00 in that pocket for lunch.
I felt peace move through me and knew God was responding to my unshakable faith that He would provide. On our way home from the gas station, my 7-year old son asked if we could have pizza for supper. My heart broke a little when I replied that we couldn't afford pizza that night but I would see what I could do for the weekend. My 9-year old daughter spoke up and told my son that if he really wanted pizza he should just pray for it because God could afford it. My son proceeded to lift his little request up to God with all of the faith a child has. For a split second, I envied his childlike faith and wondered at what point in my life I lost the ability to just believe.
During the course of his prayer, my son remembered we were out of toilet paper, "God, could you please send a little extra money for some toilet paper because my mom gets mad when the napkins plug the toilet".
I was slightly embarrassed that he would ask our Creator, the Lord of Heaven and earth for such a thing. My daughter rolled her eyes and began to lecture her younger brother about the need for some dignity when requesting material things from God.
"Mom, do you think God uses toilet paper?" my son asked.
Is this a trick question? "Well son, I imagine if there is a need for it here on earth He might" I replied. "He probably uses Charmin that's the really good stuff and it has double layers" he said.
Had he not been so serious I would have burst out laughing, but knowing he was seriously wondering about the needs of God in Heaven compared to those of us on earth, I just let it go and drove home.
The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. The kids went in their rooms and watched television, my 12- year old daughter came home around 4:00 and as with most pre-teenagers went to hibernate in her room. At about 4:45 the doorbell rang and my two youngest children went to look thru the window to see who it was. Fully expecting them to tell me one of their friends was at the door looking for someone to play with I was not in any way prepared for what came next.
"MOM!! The pizza dude is here!!"…"The who?" I asked, not sure I was hearing them right.
"The Pizza Hut delivery man" my youngest daughter replied. As I made my way to the front door in a state of confusion, my son came running thru the house and stated "It's an angel…God sent an angel to bring us pizza!!"
I hushed him and went to the door to clear up the confusion as I was sure this Pizza Hut "pizza dude" was at the wrong house.
My oldest daughter graced us with her presence when she heard all the commotion and stated "Louie, you're a dork, God doesn't send angels to deliver pizza".
"Oh yes He does" my son replied.
I was worried about the disappointment he would feel when this delivery boy realized he was at the wrong house but I greeted him and explained that we hadn't ordered pizza.
"I know ma'am" he replied "Someone called the order in and paid for it with a credit card, we were asked to deliver to you around 5:00pm".
I must have been quite a sight standing there with my mouth hanging open in total disbelief with my two daughters standing next to me doing the same and my son standing behind all of us saying "See, I told you God sends angels to deliver pizza!".
The delivery boy smiled a kindly smile, handed me 4 large pizza's and told us to enjoy. He left with a wave and I carried our feast into the kitchen still in shock.
The managers and employees of our three local Pizza Huts had no idea what I was talking about when I called them to find out who had been so kind. I spent the rest of the evening absorbing the importance of what had happened to us that day. I realized that the unshakable faith of a child is what I needed to find and hang on too.
While I was pondering these things my son yelled from the garage "Mom! I was looking thru this box and look what I found!! Four rolls of Charmin toilet paper!!".
I had packed the toilet paper in that box some 3-years ago when we moved from Delaware to Florida. I broke down and cried thanking God for the miracles he had showered over us that day. Two weeks later, I was approached by a woman I had known for sometime, she offered to invest $20,000 in my business to keep it afloat. That summer of 2002 turned out to be one of the best of my life. I learned to "simply believe" no matter what life looks like, God is good and He does send angels to deliver Pizza.
--- Copyright © 2003 Michele M. Washam
I BELIEVE IN YOU
May 3, 2004
The story you are about to read is my story. It is a story about a complete stranger and how he reached out to save me, in a time that I could not save myself.
A few days ago I found myself waiting with one of my friends, in her little sister's school, tapping our feet and twiddling our thumbs; waiting for the dismissal bell to ring so we could finally go to the movies.
As I waited I was walking up and down the halls, looking at the art posted up there. I glanced across the hall to where my friend was standing. Behind her was a classroom, blocked off by a closed door. As I passed the room, I faintly heard singing.
Silently my friend and I stood outside the door listening to the children sing. I looked at her and caught her eye. I giggled at the screwed up face she gave me as one of the kids hit a ....er.... rather high note. Finally the bell rang. We caught up with her little sister and headed off to go see our movie.
I can't remember much of the movie, because my mind was still back in that hallway, outside that closed door...I could not help myself. I started to hum a song that I remember learning, in a classroom with a closed door...And about the person who helped me find my voice, not so long ago; one moment in time....
It was September 13 2001 and I stood alone, on a crowded school ground, beside crowded play-equipment. I stood alone... I faintly heard the school bell ring somewhere in the back of my mind...Slowly I looked around at the people passing me, hoping to find some sort of comfort in their eyes, but they just kept walking. I pulled a hair-tie out of my coat pocket and pulled back my hair into a neat bun, before following my fellow classmates into the school.
I entered the classroom and took my seat near the back of the class. As soon as I sat down our teacher, Mr. Godecki, took attendance and started our first lesson. Sometime during that lesson I remember looking up from my books at the faces around me. I looked at each person in turn. And as I did so memories came flooding back to me...
Suddenly I felt hot tears build behind my eyes, and soon felt them falling on my face. I quickly lifted my textbook to cover my face. By this time tears were flowing freely down my face and burning my cheeks silently. I thought to myself, "Look at them! Not one of them cares that I'm here, NOT ONE!"
A sob escaped my throat, "Oh well, today will be the last day I'll have to put up with this because tonight, tonight I am finally gonna do it! Tonight I am finally going to die......".
Yes it's true! That night I was going to commit suicide yet again. That's right, again. I had tried many times before but I always woke up, threw up or passed out before I died. It was as though something wouldn't let me die, as though I was meant to live for something.
Soon the recess bell rang and everyone left to go play with their friends; everyone except a few people and myself. Instead my hand was dancing across my paper at lightning speed...drawing...erasing...shading...creating.
Sketching was one of the few things I found pleasure in doing. And in order to do so, I needed silence and complete concentration... Little did I know that I was not the only one concentrating hard.
When you first look at Mr.Godecki, your first impression is probably something like, "Oh man! Not another boring teacher! OMG!!! If he talks about his amazing cat, or his old rich grandma, then I'm getting a transfer!!!!"
But to tell you the truth he is the total opposite! He's a fun, witty, and a caring, person plus a humorous, bright, understanding teacher, who can always bring a song to your heart. All in all he is exactly what I think a teacher should be. And he is exactly who I found myself face-to-face with moments later.
I never heard him approach me until he was practically standing on top of me. "Nice drawing", he said in his usual happy way. "Thanks....", I mumbled, while fumbling with my pencil sharpener.
Before I knew it he had launched into the "I'm there if you need to talk", comforting pep-crap they spoon feed you from first grade. I politely looked at him while he said the same speech that I had heard sooooooooooooooooo many times before. While quietly thinking "OH MY GOOD LORD!!! You can't be serious! I can't believe he's actually saying this crap", but then he said something I'll never forget...The four most powerful words you can say to someone: "I Believe In You."
Later that night, as I lay on my bed, rattling my mom's prescription pill medicine and thumbing a knife, I reflected on my life. Nothing! I popped the lid to the pills and dumped them into my mouth. As I was preparing to swallow, I raised the knife to my wrist and looked in the mirror... There I saw my reflection. I saw my long blond hair, tangled and messy. I saw my young self, scared and alone.
The pills felt huge as I swallowed them. Then I looked into my eyes, a tear escaped them; the words, "I Believe In You", echoed soundlessly in my head.
I dropped the knife and ran to the washroom and threw up the pills. Then I walked back to my bedroom and cried.
It was Mr.Godecki's words that showed me that I was not alone. It was those words that brought me love, even if they were only spoken by a grade school teacher.
Regardless,, I am now happy to say I am back to normal, (or as normal as a teenage girl can be:)) I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love, many wonderful friends who I hold above everything else, and...er.....pretty good grades!
But, there is one thing this has taught me and I would like to share it with you:
"No matter how hard life may get, or how impossible it may seem...never stop believing in yourself, never stop loving yourself, and never stop being yourself. Because as soon as you stop that, you just stop living..... ...And remember I believe in you!"
And to Mr.Godecki, if you are reading this, I want you to know that I am sorry. I'm sorry that it took me this long to thank you...And I thought, when I actually wrote this, I would have a million things to tell you. But, now that I have, all I can say is thank you, because the gratitude in my heart exceeds all the words I know.
Yours truly,
A Happy Student, Age 13
I submitted this story because I felt I needed to. I needed to tell my story, and I needed to tell teens, and anyone else for that matter, that there are people out there like Mr. J. Godecki who can inspire, even fallen angels, into flying once again! And so I have written my story....
FABULOUS TEENS
April 26, 2004
Who are today's fabulous teens? Take a look at the Motivational Quotes for Teens Page and you will see - teens from all over the world. I know we are bombarded by the media with all of the negative news, but here - you will find something different. Teens who have an optimistic outlook on life, in spite of the challenges and difficulties they face every day.
What's it like being a teen in today's world? I can only imagine it's very different than when I was growing up. Today's teen is presented with a world that is unsettled. A world that moves so fast that it's literally impossible to enjoy being a kid, for any length of time.
Yet every day I receive submissions from teens that speak from the heart. They reveal their deepest feelings, their joys, their pains, their triumphs and their disappointments. They share these feelings so that other teens can benefit from their experience and maybe avoid a few of the pitfalls that they have gone through.
These teens seem very bright, caring and willing to move forward in life, not knowing for sure if they will be able to make a difference for the better in our world.
So if you haven't visited the Motivational Quotes for Teens Page yet, I suggest you do. You may be pleasantly surprised that the next generation of leaders and workers can offer insights that we forgot about long ago.
Have a great week ahead!,
Marlene
IMAGINE
April 19, 2004
"Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life.
Now, take what's left and live it properly."
Marcus Aurelius
Imagine for a moment that your life is over. You have died. Look at the complete story, the finished picture and ask yourself.. What was best?? What was worst?? When was I happiest?? What did I give?? What did I withhold?? How could I have done better, done more for others?? What stopped me?? Did I live my dreams? Fulfill my potential?? If not, why not?? Did I make a difference?? Have I left a gap in the world?? etc.
Now, remember that you are alive. You still have the chance to do it! I reckon that no one is really afraid of dying, but just afraid that when death comes they will not have really lived.
Observations by Simon Heighway -- United Kingdom
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
April 12, 2004
Some of us stroll gently through life with our chosen paths clearly mapped out, including breath-taking views, serene rest stops and cheerfully infrequent roadblocks. The scenery is full of hand-painted signs that say, "Welcome" and "Have a Lovely Day." Classical music plays softly in the background.
But for the rest of us, the path we stumble along is often the "road less traveled" unmarked and unpaved. Our scenery is full of garish yellow metal signs that read; "caution - bump ahead" and "danger - watch for falling rocks". Static plays in the background of our minds. Often without warning, we are hurled off the path, getting tangled in the underbrush and ending up with agonizing bruises.
It is easy to begrudge those around us that don't seem to struggle, but we need to remind ourselves that wisdom comes from discord. This is our opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with our own courage, to learn profound lessons and to heal.
Jose Stevens writes in "Earth to Tao",
"...The truth is, that you learn the most about yourself and about life on earth from falling off balance, then finding your way back to balance again. Healing, then, is the balance or the neutral position of acceptance. We could therefore say that all of life is truly an attempt at healing..."
Let us journey together on the "road less traveled" towards wellness and balance and healing.
Copyright © 2004 Bernadette Ballezza
OUR ATTITUDE
April 5, 2004
A glass is half filled for some and for some it is half empty; it depends on how we take things in our life. Some of us see others under a very close, introspection, wherein we tend to see the flaws in others very clearly and then we become the judge and declare the said person as with flaws and drop him. In a relationship, it should be the shortcomings and the inability of one's self that needs to be under scrutiny of your own eye.
We should try to overcome our own shortcomings, to have a better attitude towards life and people around us. If we can overcome them, that's well and good. But if we can't, then don't blame others for the reciprocal of your own shortcoming in a relationship. Accept your own faults and be honest with yourself, at least.
-- Written in 2004 by Vikki --- Maharastra, India
MY TEACHERS
April 5, 2004
I once had a teacher who taught me to read
and how to spell words that I someday would need.
How could she have known where that someday would lead
when she shared her gift with me?
I once had a teacher who taught me to sing.
A song in your heart is a wonderful thing.
I wonder if she knew how much joy that would bring
when she shared her gift with me?
I once had a teacher who taught me to draw.
She opened my eyes to the beauty I saw.
She taught me to see there is beauty in us all
when she shared her gift with me.
I once had a teacher who taught me to play
as part of a team - not always my way.
He taught me a lesson on sharing that day
when he shared his gift with me.
All of these teachers shared gifts that were free.
What I do with these lessons is all up to me.
If I share them with others how thankful they will be
that they shared their gifts with me.
--- Copyright © 2001 Tom Krause
I AM A PRISON MOTHER
( A True Story )
April 5, 2004
I am a Prison Mother. This is not something I chose for my life. This is a road that I am working my way down, because my son made poor choices in his life. Drugs became his best friend, and crime became his pastime. Now he will be living in a prison, until he has paid his debt to society. This is exactly where he needs to be. I would not change his life right now, even if I could. My son has made some serious mistakes. He knows this, and so do I. But, after he puts all of this behind him, he will be ready to step forward into the community to be the man God meant him to be.
This morning I am up very early. It is visiting day at the prison and I want to be in the line before it gets too long. I shower, dress, take time for a dry piece of toast and a cup of yesterday's coffee warmed over ... and, I'm out the door and on my way.
Where my son is incarcerated, it costs $7.00 to park your car. I pay my money, park the car and walk over to where the outside line is already wrapping around the corner of the outside waiting area. I go to the end of the line, and prepare to be patient. It is now 8:00 A.M. Some of the people at the head of the line have been here since last night. They have sleeping bags, blankets, sacks of food and sad faces. Some of these people I see over and over. They are there for a visit with their loved one each time I go. Sometimes we talk to each other. Sometimes we don't.
One day when I was standing in line, I visited with the nicest lady. She told me that she was waiting to visit with her adult son. She lives so far away that it took her 3 ½ hours by train to journey to the prison. She will wait in line just as long as I will, waiting for a 30 minute visit with her son. Afterwards, she will have to make that same 3 ½ hour trip to get home. She only comes once a month.
As we stand waiting in line, we all hope that this will not be one of those days when some inmate misbehaves and the whole prison goes into lock down. When that happens, they close the doors and send you home. No visit. No refund of your parking fees. If you have come a long way on a train, you just get back on that train and head for home.
If you are waiting in line for an afternoon visit, you are hoping that the inmate you are about to visit did not have a visitor this morning. At this prison, an inmate cannot have more than one visit in a day. Three people can visit the inmate, but all three people have to be there at once. If you are a visitor who is being sent home because "your" inmate already had a visit that day, you will already have been standing in line 2-3 hours before finding out. You also will not be refunded for your parking fees. And, the inmate will never know that you were there to see him.
This morning, I have been in line since 8:00 A.M. It is now 10:00 A.M., and the Duty Officer has just stepped up to the front of the line to issue a pass which allow me to go into the lobby and get into another line. All of the signs posted at the prison tell you that visiting hours begin at 10:00 A.M., but that just is not true. They only begin issuing passes at 10:00 A.M.
The Duty Officer has finally worked his way down the line until it is my turn. I tell him the inmate's name, the booking number and the cell block number. He looks at my Driver's License, enters my name and license number into his log book, and gives me the pass.
Now I go into the lobby and get into another line. The inmate I am visiting is in protective custody, so I must stand on the blue line and wait. People visiting general population prisoners must stand on the red line and wait. Anyone visiting an inmate who is a gang member is still standing in that outside line. So far, I never have figured out when they get to come inside to visit their loved one.
As I work my way up the blue line, I am praying for my son's future. I am eager to see where God will take his life next. I am finally convinced that my son is right where God needs him to be at this point in his life.
I am at the front of the line now, and it is my turn to go to the counter and show them my pass. The Officer at the counter will look my son up in his computer to see if he can have a visitor this morning. He approves my visit, and tells me to take a seat in the lobby. It is now 10:30 A.M.
The lobby is always very crowded. There are noises in the lobby which have become familiar to me. Someone just purchased a Coke at the soda machine. Someone else decides to buy their son a bag of chips. A baby is crying; it has been such a long wait for that child and nap time must be near. There are faces in this crowd that are very familiar to me by now. We have seen each other often, and sometimes shared a short visit while we waited. There are many children in the lobby. They have come for a treasured visit with their Daddy or their Brother or their Uncle or their Grandpa. They are eager to tell what their week has been like, or to brag about a good grade on their school test.
Across the room is a severely disabled man in an electric wheel chair. He comes every week to visit a special friend. He does not speak very clearly. Most people do not even try to understand him. Several weeks ago, he and I were seated next to each other in the lobby waiting area and we had a wonderful visit. Now when I see him, I always say hello and give him a big hug. He remembers me, and always seems to enjoy the hug.
In the lobby waiting area, there is a Prison Ministry Family Outreach area. This area is staffed by dedicated volunteers from the community. There is one particular woman who works at this counter - she has "love" beaming from her face at all times. I do not know her name, but I will ask the next time I am here. I am sure she could find a shoe sale at the Mall or some nice friends to play Bridge with this morning, but instead she is here helping others. At the Family Outreach counter, you can ask for any kind of help you want. They offer assistance looking up names and numbers on the Inmate Roster, they will offer a kind word or a warm hug, they pass out free Bibles and devotional books.
Right along side the Family Outreach counter is a specially decorated area for young children. There are brightly colored tables and chairs, a video recorder with a special show playing at all times, toys, word games and coloring materials. After they finish coloring their pictures, that lovely lady at the counter puts the colored pages up on the wall for all to appreciate. This morning, there is a young male volunteer helping the children with their word games and coloring. He looks to be about 25 years old. Possibly his friends are out doing "guy things" this morning - it is a beautiful sunny day. Instead, this young man is here helping the children at a very difficult time in their life. He sits down on the floor so that the children can look into his eyes at their own level. He passes out red, green, yellow and blue crayons. The children are delighted. My eyes are full of tears. I begin to look away.
These are good families here in this waiting room. They love someone in their life enough to be here. You can tell that they come from many different walks of life. Some dress and act as if they might come from money. Others, you can tell, are the poorest of the poor. But for this morning, we have come together in this room to share an experience in life.
They have just called my son's name over the loud speaker. It is time for our visit. It is now 11:00 A.M. I hurry to the visiting area. I don't want to waste one minute of my half hour. At the counter I grab the final pass which will allow me to go into the actual visiting area, and proceed through the crowd.
I work my way down the crowded visiting row until I see my son's bright smile. I perch on the little seat, and grab the telephone. There is a very thick window separating our visit. The telephones have not been turned on yet. We cannot hear each other through the thick glass, so we just wait and look into each other's eyes. Click - the telephones are on. We begin our visit. We talk about all kinds of things. Sometimes our visits are very upbeat, and sometimes we get into areas which bring tears. When it is necessary for the tears to come, neither one of us attempt to do anything about it. We just let them flow!
Today my son also wanted someone to visit with a fellow inmate who has no family. This is the second time that he has made this request. I thought ahead of time that I could not possibly sit down and talk to someone I never met before - particularly an inmate - but I found it an easy thing to do. These men are starved for someone to talk to - someone to care about them - if even for only a few minutes. As I said good-bye to this other inmate today, I asked him if it was alright with him if our family included him in our prayers. His eyes filled with tears, and he said yes.
As I got back into my visit with my son, he was asking me if I could order him some more devotional books from Amazon.com - you see, the last ones I ordered for him are in great demand by the other inmates. I will watch for a sale and send more.
In past visits, we have hashed over all the reasons why he is in prison. We have talked and talked about the mistakes and the poor choices. Today we are talking about the future. He knows now that he will be in prison for several years. He does not yet know where he will spend the bulk of this time.
My son stays focused on the future. Currently he is teaching a computer class for five hours a day. Some of the inmates in his class have never known a skill such as this. At the end of the course, they will have a Certificate of Completion and a lot of pride in themselves for a job well done.
Today my son is talking about the letters and photos he receives from friends and family, and how important mail call is to the inmates. Some of the inmates never hear from anyone, so my son "shares" his letters and photos with others.
Click - the telephone goes off. We are in the middle of our conversation, when the telephone shuts off. Thirty minutes is up. The visit is over. We smile and blow kisses to each other through the glass. We mouth "I Love You" to each other. The guard comes by. My son is led away.
I work my way back out into the crowded lobby waiting area. The lovely lady from the Family Outreach Counter is helping the disabled man in the electric wheel chair. She is giving him big hugs, and writing something down for him. He is smiling. I head out the door and towards my car for the drive home. Outside there are still people waiting - waiting - waiting to visit someone they love.
Before I leave the prison parking lot, I must first walk across the street and stand in yet another line, in order to put a little money into a prison account for my son. Prisoners must pay for their own tooth brush, tooth paste, bath soap, deodorant, shampoo, paper, pencil, stamps, etc. We cannot provide supplies for him. They must be purchased at the prison, and are sold in the smallest of sizes, at the highest of prices. So far, we have not been asked to pay for the toilet paper.
I am a Prison Mother. I did not choose this road - but, I am walking it just the same. This experience has forever changed who I am, what I think and how I feel. I knew that my son would walk away from this experience a better person. I did not realize that I would too.
--- Copyright © 2003 Sherry Tyler Saul
LETTING GO
April 5, 2004
I have realized that the reason I am suffering, stuck, in pain, and paralyzed, is the fact that despite talking, telling, teaching and writing about 'letting go', I don't actually do it!!
I now have to let go of:
The past
My attachment to parents, family, friends
My false self, old self, ego
Attachment to memories, events, places
Fear, even the fear of letting go
Guilt
Blame
Shame
The label/fact of being adopted
Doubt
The known, ideas of security
Other people's opinions of me,
Judgments about me
My own judgments
Some core false beliefs about myself and life
My conditioning by and attachment to the world
My defenses
The future
I will have to let all of these (and more) go when I die, so I may as well release them before. The bottom line is that I have accumulated so much baggage during my life so far, maybe even other lives too(?), that I can't move on until I let some of it go.
I am life and life goes on, forwards, evolving, unfolding; like a river that flows forever. All of this accumulated crap is in my mind, forming the crust/dust of my ego. Basically at a deep level it is not Real. Only Love is Real and only the unReal can be threatened or lost.
--- Copyright © 2004 Simon Heighwaya
PATIENCE... DO WE EVER STRIVE FOR IT?
April 5, 2004
Human psyche perceives controlling five vices - Pride, Lust, Anger, Attachment and Greed, as being perhaps the five most difficult things to do during our short stay on this planet. And the solution to controlling these vices lies within ourselves only.
Self-discipline comes from Self-realization. Self-realization comes from Self-introspection. Self-introspection comes with Patience and Patience comes from Practice.
When we say that we are fighting these vices, this means we are already aware of these problems, which are hampering our spiritual growth, and we are already on our way. But then this should not be said just for mere saying or for impressing upon others.
Actually, the fact of the matter is that as soon as we are confronted with a critical situation, we simply forget to practice patience with ourselves and are conveniently overtaken by any of the above-mentioned vices.
Example: As soon as somebody offends us, our 'ego' comes forward and we, conveniently, forget about practicing patience. Have we ever analyzed how long a period of time we actually remember an incident that gave us the feeling of hurt or insult, regardless of the magnitude of a dispute?
I would say... not more than 2-3 days at the most. And after that, whatever we recollect from that argument, is just a hazy picture of what had actually happened. But the hurt/insult, of whatever derogatory remark she/he said to us, always remains embedded in our mind.
Obviously, the same applies to the other person as well. Those derogatory remarks play games in our minds, for a lifetime in some cases. We hardly remember the cause for which we had argued and tend to remember only the hurt/insult thus caused. Hurt or insult is caused by our false 'ego' or 'ahamkaar' only. This is the reason we are unhappy for most of our lives.
We always say how dare she/he say these remarks to me? (We can't even recollect the remarks...). But, we do not realize that whatever she/he uttered was restricted by her/his level of thinking/intellect... We feel this hurt/insult only because we take whatever is said to us to heart & mind and that is where all the problems arise. What if we do not take the insult at all? She/he can do nothing about it.
Patience is a rare state of mind, where we are neither too happy on the happening of a favorable event nor too depressed on the happening of an unfavorable event. Our goal: the state of mind in which we are constantly in 'Anand...Eternal Joy...Bliss'.
But this state of mind needs practice; practicing restrain or patience with ourselves. Some would simply argue, "Very difficult! Very difficult!!" But: Is it really that difficult? Have we ever strived for it? I am afraid, no, never ever!
So, one derogatory remark from she/he induces another derogatory remark from us and so this vicious circle continues to a point where there can be no looking back.
And in 100% of the cases, we earn nothing from our false ego-based arguments but rather might lose the blessings of our elders or a true friend for a lifetime. By dragging his/her thinking (derogatory words) into our mind again and again, we are not only corrupting our minds but we also don't allow good thoughts to enter our mind.
If we could just practice patience and just listen to what the other person has to say, without blasting him/her out of his/her 'ego', we would solve a lot of problems. We need to practice patience with our minds.
So, whenever we feel bothered with such feelings of hurt/insult, just go to quieter places and try to empty our mind from such thoughts. By giving our mind a feed of positive thoughts or even think about the positive sides of that individual who had hurt/insulted us in the first place, maybe we could reconcile with him/her.
But again, this comes from practicing patience. Now, whenever there is a situation when we feel that one of the five vices are overtaking our thinking, just take a deep cool breath and hold back. We will certainly cool down.
You could say that the other person would brag/boast that he has proven his point, just because we have stopped responding to the negative arguments. We should remember that nobody has ever won an argument and his/her bragging could just be their 'false-ego' only.
Let him/her feel happy!! We can't be right each time and the other person can't be wrong each time. So, if we can gain something from others, we should feel grateful to him/her. We can at least give Patience a try. Patience definitely breeds peace of mind.
Come on, let us give it a try.
Copyright © 2004 Amanpartap Singh --- India
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP
March 29, 2004
I will never give up
No matter what the odds are
No matter what people say
No matter how far
I will never give up
If I throw it away time after time
If I am one step behind try after try
If I miss dime after dime
I will never give up
Even when it seems all over
Even when no one else believes
Even when it seems I can go no further
I will never give up
For I know I have strength within
For I know I can persevere
For I know that I can win
I will never give up
Because it's someone else's fault
Because I am settling for good enough
Because I fear that I will fall short
I will never give up
There is so much I can still do
There is too much talent to waste
There is so much in me that I want you to see
I will never give up
Why squander all of my hard work and dedication
Why not show the world that I am a fearless baller
Why quit when I still have the opportunity to go on
I will never give up
If I do, I will not be the best me that could live
If I do, I will never know what I am capable of
If I do, I am not giving the world all I can give
I will never give up
Written in 2004 by K.D., Age 15 --- Oregon
DECISION TIME
March 22, 2004
I was in love with my best friend for such a long, long time - over a year.... and somehow we still stayed best friends. Although I got mad at him everyday, because I was always getting jealous and always being sad around him, I finally realized that I can't do this forever. I can't ruin my whole high school years wishing I were with someone I couldn't be with. So, I finally got courage and decided it was time to get over him.
I'm not going to sit here and say that I just am totally over him and everything is all fine and dandy, but I really have made the decision to be over him and he knows it. I'm myself around him now and we are the best of friends like we were at the beginning.
So no matter how much you are 'in love" with your best friend (and I know there are many teenagers who are) just lift your head up high and realize: that if he has a life of him own or her own that doesn't involve you as the girl/boyfriend, then it's time to give them up and just be their best friend again.
Yeah it's true, that when you really love someone it's hard to get over them but you can...just put your heart to it and you can do it.
Copyright © 2004 Nikki Adams
A LOVE STORY
March 15, 2004
Someone got me upset and I was talking to my friend about it, and she said that I should sit down and write a love story; maybe it would make me feel better, so I did...
I miss my baby so but he's not here any more. And it's true, he's the one, who if I was getting worked up, he'd probably say something so that my anger would be directed towards him instead.
My heartthrob and soul; I miss the new meaning he puts in my life when he is around. The passage of time has made our bond stronger; our understanding of each other more deeper; our arguments longer because time has increased our knowledge of each other; our laughter more rich; our happiness more profound; our tears more poignant; our memories more nostalgic; our lives more rich because of the joy that a friendship as vibrant and fulfilling as ours brings; a friendship devoid of the illusions that lust gives, but yet filled with the mystery of love and undeniable attraction.
And yet, this is more of a dream than reality, because distance has become my worst enemy; the arm that twists the hands of fate and destiny. The realization that separation is not always a choice, but can be determined by miles and oceans, and countries and continents. The painful reality that life is not always fair and dreams are not always realized, but then the acknowledgement that all things will work out as they ought to, everything happens for a reason and maybe or maybe not, fate will unravel its cords in my favor. After all, it's not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
A love story; worthy of films and romance novels. As close to the clichéd "love at first sight' as it can possibly be. Six years ago, since I first set eyes on him and to this day, some things never change. Some things do change however; from a little girl's crush to a growing adolescent's troubled and confused emotions, and now to a young adult's confidence in the fact that above all else; all the other side attractions, flings, involvements, even boyfriends, in my heart he remains supreme.
There can only be one key to fit a door and he hold the key that unlocks the door to my heart. Not the heart that is free to love friends and family, to look twice, maybe three times at every cute guy, to find deep attractions and bonds with special people, but the heart that in this life that we live, only one person can have. For in life, you find only one true love, only one you can love in spite of who they are, only one you can love without setting any conditions nor asking any questions about whether this really is love, or lust or infatuation, because you have the answer; it lies in the very depths of your heart.
I have my answer and I have found my love, but I must accept the fact that as much as you will find only one true love in your life, it is only if you are lucky that you will spend the rest of your life with him. But I truly believe that it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all, because in life you win some and you lose some. Life is a battleground and it is the courageous and strong that emerge victorious. And I find the strength from within to survive from day to day, to overcome my trials and temptations, to conquer my difficulties and to transcend the greatest of all things; LOVE.
Copyright © 2003 Dinah Hanson --- Ghana
BY SHARING LOVE, JOY FOLLOWS
March 8, 2004
This journey through life is yours;
Live more in the moment and less in the past.
Resolve to accept others differences and opinions,
Knowing it's okay to agree to disagree.
Embrace every day, every hour, and every moment
Just as if each were your last.
Share less of injustice; renew disappointment;
Focus on the positive.
For this is your life, no one can live it...
No one can change it... Except for you.
You have the power to change today, any time, any way!
Spread love just as the bees spread honey
And never leaving a kind word unsaid.
Cherish individuality, for it is the uniqueness
That makes each of us special.
Embrace family; treat them like friends...
Surely then those relationships will never end.
Accept others make mistakes,
Learn to forgive, to let go... to move on.
For this is your life, no one can live it...
No one can change it... Except for you.
Remember, you have the power to change today, any time, any way!
History should remain a study of the past, a valuable lesson perhaps.
Press onward, not backward.
Resolve to concentrate less on the lack of communication...
And more on becoming part of establishing it.
Spend less time focusing on others weakness and more on improving your own...
And know, when you stand back, it will seem like magic...
Great things will happen!
Remember too, that by sharing love, joy follows
And isn't that what really makes life worth living?
FOR THIS IS YOUR LIFE, no one can live it...
No one can change it... Except for you.
And my wish for you today;
To always believe and to always know
You have the power to change today, any time, any way!
Copyright © 2003 Katrina Ann Stull
BUMPS AND BRUISES
March 1, 2004
"Life is full of bumps and bruises. It's what you learn from it and what you do with it that makes you who you are."
Author Unknown
I was reading this article in Glamour magazine and it was about these five women who overcame deadly situations and got on with their lives. These women went through a double lung transplant, an open heart surgery and then gave birth to twins, a cancer survivor, a deadly bacterial infection, and one of the women, who was still a teenager like us, survived knife wounds that most people wouldn't survive.
This article got me thinking about how people go about their lives. Life is not a smooth ride. Some people, when they hit a bump, give up and turn around while others find ways to go over the bump or around the bump. I believe that everyone should do the latter and be like these five women and find ways to get around these bumps.
So when you reach a bump on the road called life, don't give up because you're not the only person to ever reach that particular bump and you're not the last. Be an example for your followers!!!!
Written in 2004 by P.V., Age 18 --- Iowa
NEVER GIVE UP
March 1, 2004
Life is how you want it to be
Open your eyes, and you will see
No matter what, you can have fun
And always remember, when it's done
The memories of what has been
The mistakes, so you won't make them again
The good times, but the not-so-good times too
Because these memories will see you through.
Never forget friends who've come and gone
Sing life's praises as a beautiful song
Loving and being loved are the greatest gifts
Close your heart, and these you'll miss
Life is how you want it to be
Open your eyes, and this you'll see...
Just one note: NEVER GIVE UP!
--- Copyright © 2003 Jennifer Michelau
MY SENIOR SPEECH
March 1, 2004
Someone once said, "Time doesn't wait for anyone. Don't wait for it to fall on your lap; you have to make it happen." As most of you know, this is easier said than done.
Remember all of the times you were late for class, or all of the weekends where you would tell yourself that you will finish your paper on Saturday night, and then you pull an all-nighter on Sunday to turn your paper in the next day? I can honestly say that I remember those times. My teachers can attest to it.
High school is a time when we grow and mature. Most of us will not be able to procrastinate in the real world; turning papers in late, being late for jobs, not paying the bills on time. It is a cruel world out there. You will rarely find sympathetic people who will give you leeway.
Today is the day that we need to choose whether or not to change our old ways and look ahead to the future, or continue to let America believe that we are the slacker generation.
M. Nazario said, "Don't allow a negative environment affect you; feel inside and trust your inner voice, and don't be afraid to show your abilities and talents."
When we leave here today, we are going to go our separate ways; but we all need to continue to have one thing in common. We need to let the world know that the class of 2004 will not be held back, and that we are going to go out in this world and make a difference.
We, the class of 2004, are going to be trendsetters, lawyers, doctors and teachers of tomorrow. It is up to us to set an example for generations to come.
"They who know how to employ opportunities will often find that they can create them; and what we can achieve depends less on the amount of time we possess than on the use we make of our time", as John Stuart Mill put it. He was right.
We have an opportunity right now, to go out in this world and use the time that we have, to better not only ourselves, but our friends, families, communities and the nation. We can make a difference. We can be rebels with a cause; a cause to better the world we live in. No matter how big or small a problem is, there is always a solution; and with most solutions to a problem, someone or something is always benefiting from it. Today, we live where diversity is more accepted. There are so many different areas, that all of you sitting here today, no matter what you are going to do, have the potential to better yourselves through these areas.
Not all of us will go on to college, and not all of us will be successful right out of high school. But if we all choose to go out and use our time wisely, we will eventually have succeeded.
So I tell you here, today, class of 2004, don't waste your time, life is too short and too precious to sit back and do nothing.
--- Copyright © 2004 Mandy Walters
HISTORY WAS MADE
March 1, 2004
History was made in the United States exactly a year ago today.
A "faceless coward" set to destroy us on that clear September day.
Everyone was carrying on their business like they did the day before.
In what was faster than an instant, harm was knocking on our door.
I was lying in bed that morning when I heard my mother shout.
I jumped up quickly and ran to see what it was all about.
I glanced at the television and my heart filled with despair.
There was a plane inside the World Trade Center... instead of flying through the air.
There was fire, smoke, and ashes filling up the air and sky.
Everyone was running around and panicking, but we had yet to understand why.
The real panic began when the second commercial plane collided.
We realized that the U.S. was being attacked by what we later found out was the Al Queda.
People were running out as firefighters were running in.
There were thousands of innocent people trying to fight for their life and win.
As if things couldn't be worse, the U.S. Pentagon was hit.
I remember asking solemnly to myself, "God, could this be it?"
Another plane went down in Pennsylvania but that wasn't where it was supposed to be.
It was supposed to run into the Capitol Building for attack on target number 3.
It was because of heroic efforts of the passengers and staff on board.
They learned about the hijackers' plan, attacked them, crashed, and went to be with the Lord.
The entire country was filled with sadness, grief, and anger.
But suddenly throughout the nation, you wouldn't meet a stranger.
Some firefighters went into the flame to save lives, and didn't seem to make it out.
But it showed us all what true heroism is really all about.
Volunteers came together from every different country and different state,
For helping the innocent people was something that just couldn't wait.
Everyone in this nation helped their country in their own special way.
Whether it was donating money, food, shelter, or blood, we were all affected by this day.
Most importantly we all pulled together and prayed for Jesus to watch over everyone.
For we all know that without him in our lives, no race could ever be won.
The United States was filled with flags, all sporting the red, white, and the blue.
Pride, love, and the American Spirit were really shining through.
Even after a year, the flags are still waving through the air.
The love for our fellow man and country, no other nation can compare.
The "Star Spangled Banner" has a new meaning, and we sing it very clear and very loud.
It has made us realize that being Americans makes us very proud.
September 11 is definitely a day that we will never seem to forget.
However I know that in the end, messing with America, the terrorists and Osama will regret. ...
--- Copyright © 2002 Sheri Lowe
I wrote this poem exactly a year after September 11. I could still feel the pain that everyone felt and I wanted to put it into words. I received recognition from President Bush and other leaders, and I wanted to share it with you as well. I hope you enjoy.
(I am running this poem as a tribute to all of the heroes that day and to remind everyone to be vigilant and to NEVER FORGET!)
A GRANDMOTHER'S PRAYER
March 1, 2004
Thank you father for the children that look up to me
They are so small and innocent always so care free
The desire of my heart is for them to know and love you
To realize that you knew each one before they were born
You have a purpose for each tiny life
May they find you early on to help with the strife
I cannot imagine what temptations they will face
As I look at what is in the world today
No one to look up to and no safe place to play
My father, I know that you love them more than I
So please take care of them where I will not cry
Bless them dear god and keep them from harm
May they serve you daily
Keep your loving arms around them
Allow each one to feel your love so warm
--- Copyright © 2003 Sarah Berthelson
BETTER DAYS...
February 23, 2004
The hour is late and I'm fast awake,
Pondering and reflecting on my life.
Hoping for future happiness, while battling past memories,
Dreaming of better moments, and waiting for love.
I hope.
Feeling something amiss in life, my heart is sad.
Regretting past decisions, low self-esteem.
Wishing for the best, feeling impatient with time,
Aiming for better days, and clutching my dreams.
I ponder.
Depression through the years, and the idea of suicide,
Has been conquered but left emotional scars.
Past memories are now phantoms, but still have a hold.
Living through the storm, and waiting silently for happier times.
I wait.
A relationship notched on my experiences in the past,
Intimacy lost, and a friend turned foe.
Learning that love is not everything in this life of ours,
But I miss my friend, and her warmth wrapped around me.
I ache.
Knowing that the past is impossible to retrieve,
I seek to find another, to share my dreams with.
A close friend to hold, console, and trust,
Someone to exchange hearts with, what a wonderful feeling...
I dream.
Living for the future, knowing that things will pick up.
Accepting of the occurrence of further bleak days - everyone has them,
Just waiting for that spark, to give motion to my fuel,
And start me alight on my journey of reclaimed dreams.
I expect.
No matter how bad life becomes, sunshine always breaks through,
Providing warmth and promise in a winter of discontent.
Your days are numbered, but your dreams are not,
Hold faith for the future, your dreams will come true.
I anticipate.
Copyright © 2003 David Wyatt
WHO DO YOU NEED TO FORGIVE?
February 16, 2004
Today I ask the question, "Who do you need to forgive and why? I had a conversation with a friend over the weekend about anger and the benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a funny thing, where by doing it, you not only release the other person from your anger but you also free yourself. Do you realize how much energy you put into keeping an old score unsettled? How it is a constant reminder of how someone did us wrong? How that moment or series of moments keeps playing the scene over and over again in our head, like a movie that never changes? Is this a good use of our time and energy? Who is our anger really affecting? Us or them?
When you don't forgive someone, you take it upon yourself to keep that anger near the surface. You give that anger active power, power that could be directed towards what you do want, not what you don't want. It has been said that whatever you focus on comes back to you into your life, whether the focus be positive or negative.
If you insist on not forgiving, for whatever reason that works for you, are you really telling the universe that you want more anger to manifest itself? Perhaps you never looked at it this way. Perhaps you think your anger is justified because we don't know all of the facts. Perhaps you think that you will look weak and the other person will win, if you forgive them.
I remember a story I saw on TV years ago. A woman had been torched, wrapped in bandages and in pain, when the interviewer asked her if she hated the person who had done this to her? She thought for a split second and responded with a, "No". When asked why not, she said she didn't want that person to have power over her. She didn't want that person constantly in her thoughts. She said she forgave him, not because it helped him, but because to forgive helped her. She need every ounce of energy possible to make a recovery and she wouldn't waste once ounce more on her attacker.
Try it, forgive someone today for what they did to you yesterday, last year, ten years ago, etc. Who feels better? Them or you? Release yourself from the burden of carrying around anger and move forward and focus on what you really want, what we all want; love, understanding and forgiveness for being human.
Have a great week,
Marlene
THE CARD STORY
February 9, 2004
I remember how I felt when the idea hit me, thrilled, certain and Ready!
It was in algebra class, the spring of my junior year. Football season was long over, and a long way away. We had done well last season - qualifying for the playoffs for the first time in school history - and I wanted us to do even better next year, my senior year. But how? Then the idea hit me. I didn't wait till after school. During my lunch break, I drove over to a print shop and ordered business cards with a simple, direct prophesy -
"BOONVILLE PIRATES -- 1974 STATE CHAMPIONS!"
When the cards were printed, my teammates and I distributed them all over town. Teachers pinned them to classroom bulletin boards. Merchants taped them in store windows. Pretty soon those cards were everywhere. We worked hard at getting the cards all over town. There was no escaping them, and that's what we wanted. We wanted our goal to be right in front of us, for all to see, impossible to overlook, no matter where we went.
Although we faced skepticism, it only served to strengthen our conviction to make our dream a reality. Our school had never won a state title in any sport - we were determined to change that history.
By the time football practice started in late August we were focused. That sense of direction and unity made us a closer team. From day one we gave more in practice, paid more attention to detail as we executed assignments sharply. With our goal imprinted in our minds and hearts -- "BOONVILLE PIRATES -- 1974 STATE CHAMPIONS!", we marched through the season undefeated and stepped into the playoffs with a sense of destiny.
The first playoff game matched us against a powerhouse team that was riding a 28-game winning streak. We knew we were in for a fight, but as the intensity of the game increased, so did our determination. We won, pulling away in the second half. That win brought us to the brink of our goal, a match-up with the defending state champions for the title.
We went into preparing for the big game with the same calm intensity and focus we'd shown as a team all season. Then it started to snow. A huge storm blew through stymieing everyone. School was canceled; roads were closed; transportation systems shut down. Still, somehow every member of the team made it to the school gym and we practiced for the biggest game of our lives in tennis shoes.
Our coach received a phone called before practice the night before the game telling us that state officials were thinking of canceling the game and declaring Co-champions because of the severe weather. We were asked if we would accept such a decision. "No way", was our response. This was our year. We were not going to get this close and not take a shot at the title.
On Saturday, we arrived at the stadium to find the field buried in snow. The goal posts stuck out above a six to eight inch blanket of snow. Someone asked if snowshoes would be allowed as legal equipment. Undaunted we dressed for the game and began our warm-ups.
Frustration grew as both teams struggled to a scoreless first half. Slip, slide, fall down, dropped pass, missed blocks, fumbles were all either team had accomplished. There was a growing sense of urgency that time was running out on out dream.
In the locker room at half-time, Coach Reagan reminded us of all we had been through to get to this moment. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out the card. Right there in front of us once again was our vision. "Do you want this?", he said.
Playing conditions were as tough the second half as they were the first, but our determination didn't numb out with our fingers and feet. We scored 34 points in the second half on the same field we couldn't score any on in the first half. Our year-long dream became reality:
"BOONVILLE PIRATES -- 1974 STATE CHAMPIONS!"
And yes, I still have my card.
--- Copyright © 2001 Tom Krause
MOVE ON
February 2, 2004
The warrior moves on ; he moves on despite a dead horse and a broken sword. The warrior moves on! With no one to fight for him , no one to fall back on, he moves on with an unshakeable faith and an unwavering determination. With a damaged armor and an empty arsenal he moves on.... he moves on!
He has already lost a thousand battles but he still moves on despite the hundred bleeding scars on his moonlit face. The warrior moves on for another battle; may be he will loose it too but he moves on with his dead horse and a broken sword because the battlefield is calling. He knows he might lose another hundred battles but he has his eyes fixed on the WAR and he cannot be whipped if he fights another battle, and then another battle, and another. So he moves on despite a dead horse and a broken sword..........................
--- Copyright © 2004 Sandip Dutta
DEALING WITH THE PAIN
February 2, 2004
At times you feel you're all alone when troubles keep you down,
When misery loves company, but nobody's around.
When problems get the best of you, and answer's can't be found,
When giving all your best to smile, you manage just to frown.
At times you feel the pain inside is far too much to bear,
When even those you love so much are never ever there.
When you become invisible and no one seems to care,
When realizing finally, that life just isn't fair.
You feel afraid.
You feel left out.
You can't help but ask why?
If your life feels much worse then death,
Then why not simply die?
If every night you go to bed and secretly you cry,
If you can't get away from grief no matter how you try.
You feel such sorrow in your life.
You ask and ask again,
If living is a living hell, why put up with it then?
If you face all these problems that just seem to never end,
Just know no matter whom you are, you'll always have a friend.
Someone who's been through so much more than you will understand,
Someone who sacrificed his life to save his fellow man.
Someone who never lost his faith, someone who never ran,
Someone who always does for us the very most he can.
Someone who died a mockery, who paid the greatest cost,
Someone who died so painfully, nailed up against a cross.
Despite his being king of kings, the boss of every boss,
He died because he thought we were too precious to be lost.
So if you ever feel you can no longer stand the pain,
Just know you have at least one friend who's been through quite the same.
He'll always be around you there to listen, not to blame.
So if you need to talk to someone just call out his name.
And hopefully your problems will no longer seem so great,
Perhaps because you know that he gave himself for your sake.
And maybe even though you hurt you'll manage still to smile,
The fact that Jesus loves you will make everything worthwhile.
--- Copyright © 2004 Ryan Sy
I wrote this when I broke up with my girlfriend. It's kinda hard to go through life when you feel pain. But hey, it's all good.
HELPFUL GUIDES FOR AN EMPOWERED LIFE
February 2, 2004
Always say "Please" and "Thank you".
Respect yourself and Respect others.
Make your home a garden of love.
Understand that God hears all your prayers, it’s just that sometimes the answer is "no".
Even when you lose, there is a lesson to be gained.
True friendship is rare. Don't let a little dispute ruin a friendship.
When you make a mistake, be quick to admit it and correct it.
Be sure to have some alone time every day.
Remain open to change. Without change, progress is impossible.
Never compromise your values.
Sometimes silence can be the strongest and most compassionate answer.
Never bring up the past in an argument. Only deal with the current issue.
Read. Read. Read.
Share your knowledge.
Be considerate with the Earth. More people have to use it when you’re gone.
Travel. Meet new people. Experience new cultures. Look into other religions.
In a strong relationship, you should love your companion more than you need them.
Understand that achievements involve risk. Courage is your greatest asset.
Listen to what others have to say. When you speak, you’re only repeating things you already know. When you listen, you learn.
--- Copyright © 2003 Steve Maraboli
MY E-MAIL PRAYER
February 2, 2004
Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head.
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.
And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do,
Hope you don't mind me asking
Please bless my computer too.
Now I know that it's unusual
To bless a motherboard,
But listen just a second
While I explain it to you, Lord.
You see that little metal box
Holds more than odds and ends,
Inside those small compartments
Rest so many of my friends.
I know so much about them
By the kindness that they give,
And this little scrap of metal
Takes me in to where they live.
By faith is how I know them
Much the same as you,
We share in what life brings us
And from that our friendships grew.
Please take an extra minute
From your duties up above,
To bless those in my address book
That's filled with so much love.
Wherever else this prayer may reach
To each and every friend,
Bless each e-mail inbox
And each person who hits send.
When you update your Heavenly list
On your own CD-ROM,
Bless everyone who says this prayer
Sent up to GOD.com
AMEN
--- Author Unknown --- Submitted by Karen McGriff --- Texas
I CHOOSE
January 26, 2004
I choose to be happy.
I choose to live in a kind universe.
I choose to find things in common with the people that come into my life, celebrating our similarites and honoring our differences.
I choose to trust that this life isn't a random life.
I choose to reach out and help another, knowing I can make a difference, even though I may never witness the outcome.
I choose to pursue an honorable career.
I choose to believe we are all here for a reason, a good reason.
I choose friends who will restore me with support, joy and kindness and offer me the opportunity to do the same for them.
I choose to search for authentic meaning in my daily experiences.
I choose to welcome life's lessons.
--- Copyright © 2003 Bernadette Ballezza
INNER RESEARCH
January 19, 2004
When was the last time you sat down with yourself for a good assessment of your life? Don't we all need to know where we've been, how the changes we made in the past are affecting us today, where we want to be in the future and what aspects of our personal style are standing in our way of moving forward towards the life we really want to live?
Each of us will find a time and place to do this, if we want to. What are the benefits of deciding to look inside? Suddenly you are allowing yourself to do something precious - give yourself time. Every one of us is overbooked in our lives with little time to do anything for ourselves. We have jobs, families and friends who all demand our attention. How can we bring more to our daily relationships if we don't take the time to know and understand ourselves first?
I won't kid you and say it is all rosy when you do your inner research. Sometimes you have to deal with issues you swept under the rug - knowing one day you would have to look at them again. But guess what? Today is all any of us gets, and even this is not a guarantee. So look inside - deal with what you want to avoid now. Get it out of the way so you can move forward. One thing I do recommend is to also thank yourself for all the courage you have shown in the past, for everyone has had a rocky road at sometime in his or her life. Celebrate the challenges you have overcome. Examine the times you have not triumphed and the lesson you were supposed to learn as a result. Be truthful.
If you make a commitment to improve at least one aspect of your personality this year and develop a game plan with a start date, before you know it, you will be on your way to the life you really want.
Have a great week ahead,
--- Marlene
LIFE LESSONS
January 12, 2004
For my 8th birthday my gift was a shiny blue bike. My older sisters decided to teach me to ride. We lived on Edgewood Avenue at the top of a steep hill. My sisters, Agnes and Christina, put me on my bike and pushed me hard, yelling instructions, "Peddle! Steer! Use the breaks!" Needless to say, I was hurled down the street wildly trying to hold on.
I slammed into the curb, flying over the handlebars onto the sidewalk, skinning my knees, bruising my hands and crying loudly. Instead of offering sympathy, my sisters yelled at me because I hadn't listen to their instructions. Weeks passed before I tried again. This time I walked my bike to the empty parking lot behind the schoolyard. I kept repeating the instructions to myself and after a few awkward attempts and even more painful spills, I learned to ride a bike.
Learning life lessons are a lot like learning to ride a bike. Some life lessons are painful to learn. We don't always get to choose where we learn them, we don't always have good teachers and we are not always ready. Sometimes we find ourselves wildly trying to hold on.
My husband, Rich, taught my sons to ride a bike. First he raised their training wheels slightly and they rode around the block getting used to the unsteady feeling. After he removed the training wheels he would run along side the bike holding on to the seat to steady them. Up and down our street they would go with Rich calling out, "You almost have it! You're doing great!" until my son would call out "Let go". Rich would let go but still run along, just in case. It was a happy day in the neighborhood.
When the life lessons come along in this New Year, and they will, may you learn them from a patient and kind teacher. May you learn them surrounded by support and encouragement. And may you have someone stay by your side until you have found victory.
Also, may you never find yourself on a bike at the top of Edgewood Avenue with my sisters behind you.
--- Copyright © 2003 Bernadette Ballezza
EXPERIENCES FROM INDIA
January 5, 2004
"When a man begins to understand himself he begins to live. When he begins to live he begins to understand his fellow men."
--- Norvin Mcgranahan
"Return to the root and you will find the meaning."
--- Sengstan
On my most recent visit to the land of my ancestor's, India, I witnessed first hand the horrors of a third world Indian emergency hospital ward and the pain and suffering entombed within the walls of that hospital. To witness something with one's own eyes has an impact on the human mind the way in which the words from the mouth of another describing the event can never have. I will therefore try to the best of my capabilities in the following passages to be your eyes and attempt to describe what I saw and why, within the midst of all the suffering that I witnessed, there is a fundamental and important message for us all.
On the day in question my relatives had been involved in a serious car accident. They had been admitted to the local main hospital that caters for over at least a half a million people or more. I had just arrived in India on a direct flight from the UK and made my way directly to the hospital from Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi. The journey from New Delhi to the hospital was up to six hours in total. It was the longest six hours that I can ever remember in the anticipation of what lay ahead of me.
When I eventually arrived at the hospital a group of women wailing, crying and shouting out aloud naihe, naihe, naihe (no, no, no) in a state of extreme hysteria and shock, each one on the verge of fainting, sweat pouring from their foreheads were being helped out of the hospital into a waiting car. One of their family members had just died. Such scenes began the process of weakening my heart. I prayed in the back of my mind that this was not an indication of things to come.
I apprehensively entered the hospital and was shocked by the sheer number of sick patients and the vast size of the hospital. Each face I looked at seemed to be in some sort of pain and a blank and unemotional stare seemed to add to the aura of misery that hovered around them. The smell of disinfectant hovered in the hospital air around me and the smell of suffering clung to my clothes like an eagle clings to its prey.
As I entered the ward in which my relatives were, I approached the bed of my cousin brother. His jaw had just been operated on, it had snapped in half, on the left side of his face during the car accident. His mouth was completely wired up in order to hold his jaw in place, which now also had a metal plate, screwed into it. His chest was covered in scars and stitches from where glass had been removed, as a result of the windscreen of the car shattering on impact. He was obviously in extreme pain.
On seeing me after a period of six years he attempted to get up. I indicated to him to keep still and not attempt to get up. He then held my hand tightly as if to say thank you for coming. He looked at me and then cried. A tear rolled down from my eye but I managed to hold back the tears turning my head away from him, looking up towards the ceiling and taking a deep breath. My uncle had split his head open and required twenty-eight stitches, his ribs had been broken and his chest was also covered in scars as a result of the broken glass being removed from his chest. They were lucky to be alive.
The sight of the pain and helpfulness of my family had already put me in a state of mental shock. When you see your own family in extreme pain and hovering between life and death, it seems to put our own lives into clear perspective between what is and what is not important in our lives. At that moment our lives despite the arguments of the past seems to embrace their lives. A bond develops which previously had not been apparent or that it had been apparent but we were too afraid to show our feelings for fear of ridicule or rejection. It is a shame that it is only at times such as these that such bonds develop when we have a whole life-time in our every day lives to realise that such bonds are what makes us as one with those that are dear to us.
As I looked around me I saw people of all ages in different states of pain and in many cases sheer despair on the hospital beds around me. Many had relatives and loved ones by their sides embracing their hands in an attempt to relieve them of their pain. Others lay on their hospital bed with no one beside them except pain as their companion. A look of despair and defeat embraced their faces. There were individuals whose whole bodies were burnt from head to toe crying out in agony to be relieved of their pain or indeed their life. A woman who had just been brought in earlier yelling and screaming as a result of her entire body being burnt and bleeding had died in front of my eyes only a few yards away from where I was standing. Her cries had pierced my body like an arrow from an archer's bow and disturbed me greatly. The cries of those around me added further to the atmosphere of grief and pain around me. The air around me felt as if it was choking on its own tears.
There was a small child clutching his father's hand in agony with the side of his face missing - a doctor quickly saw to him. I later plucked up the courage to ask his father what had happened, he told me that his child had caught his face in an agricultural shredding machine, tears rolled down his face as he knew that his child would never be the same again. A few weeks later I met this man and his child on another visit to the hospital whilst accompanying my cousin for a check up on his broken jaw. The child's face had been bandaged but it soon became apparent that his father would not be able to afford the operation to correct his child's face out of sheer poverty. It was a moment of great tragedy and of extreme pain as I watched both father and child leave the hospital with his father's tears rolling down his face.
The hand that embraced the child was now a hand that also embraced a barren sea of broken dreams. There are many like these who have the same stories of pain and suffering within the third world. It was a defining moment in my life.
The vast majority of people within that ward and the entire hospital were people who were poor and people who had already been existing within a life of pain and suffering. My relatives had been moved to a private room at the insistence of my father, which seemed a million miles away from the pain of suffering around me, with every convenience catered for. It did not seem just that just because we could afford to pay for a private room that I should now be oblivious the pains of the people around me. Each day I witnessed something new, life was constantly teaching me new lessons and with each lesson my thought and my sanity was being affected. I stayed by my cousin and my uncle's bedside for nearly two weeks along with my father and his sister.
The sequence of events that I had experienced since arriving in India had put me on a journey of thought. A variety of questions rolled around inside my mind, which I now tried to battle with and constantly attempted to resolve. On my regular daily walks around the vast hospital I would continue to witness varying degrees of pain and death and life portraying itself in its most savage form.
I could not merely sit idle in the hospital and accept that everything I witnessed is merely a part of how life is. I began again to question how an individual should attempt to combat pain within his life and of those around us who are less fortunate than ourselves. I began to compare the comfort of the lives we lead in the west, which was in sharp contrast to the lives of the poor and those thousands I saw in my time in hospital.
We should be content with what luxuries we have within our lives and the comfortable existence, which we take for, granted on a daily basis here in the west. Do not aspire for a life of wealth but for a life of understanding. Understand the pains of those around you. We have everything that we need within our lives, yet we continually desire more. The direction that our lives take depends on the direction in which we look within our lives.
Do not look away from those who are suffering, attempt to understand their suffering and if possible through any means attempt to comfort and alleviate them. Life can never be defined by wealth; the essence of who you are as a person defines your life. Your true wealth is your understanding of your own life, there can be no greater treasure. We must give purpose to our existence, to who we are and assist those that are less fortunate than ourselves with the wealth that we have. We in the west where the vast majority of the world's wealth is monopolised should use that wealth in alleviating the pains of those who are less fortunate than ourselves.
Our lives are governed by time; do not waste this sacred time in accumulating wealth and greed and therefore being oblivious to the pains within this world. If we wish to be part of humanity we must also be part of its pains. We must experience one in order to experience the other.
I believe that until we do not experience pain within our lives we will never be in a position to understand the pain of those around us. We must experience it, we must suffer through it and only then will we understand that wealth is insignificant if it is not used to alleviate the pains of our fellow humans. I believe that we become so engrossed in our own small worlds that we believe that our problems are so vast that there can be no one with problems greater than ours.
What right does life have to deny the father and child I saw of the operation that was needed in order to perform surgery on his face? Why does everything in this life have to be defined in figures and numbers? Whatever happened to civilisation - it's a good idea if it ever started! He did not ask to be born into poverty and he did not ask for his child to suffer in the way in which he now undoubtedly will.
I write this with great anger, rage and intensity. A great fire has developed within the depths of my soul after the events and suffering, I witnessed in that hospital. I cannot douse its flames with half measures and promises that things will one day get better, because they won't until we begin to truly understand the pains of those around us. I refuse to look away. Maybe I am not writing with an objective mind but there are times when objectivity has to be sacrificed for the truth. .
If we can spend millions of dollars and pounds on weapons of mass destruction which are truly detrimental to humanity at large, waste millions on military hardware which has an aim - to destroy human life - why can we not have the courage, insight, determination and foresight to alleviate the poverty that lives amongst us? Surely such a goal is more worthwhile?
This is the message amidst the suffering that I have described above, which is to merely understand, or attempt to understand and not be blind to the suffering of others. Do not look away for one day in your hour of need and pain others will also look away! Use your wealth responsibly and for a greater cause than your own luxuries.
My heart wept during those two weeks and my mind was pierced like never before at the images of suffering that continue to haunt me. My soul embraced the tears of those around me like a mother tenderly embraces her newborn child. I found no comfort, for my soul was also in pain during my period in that hospital. I wept not only for those around me but also for those that continue to be blind to the suffering within this world.
I stood and I stared into its dark and unemotional eyes and witnessed death. I listened to the cries of pain as they pierced through my body like a dagger through the heart of a child and I saw suffering in its most morbid form. This experience has changed me and continues to change me. Never again will I aspire for more when I already have enough.
--- Copyright © 2003 Naresh Jhali
SAVED
January 5, 2004
I've always thought there's
No difference between
This life and a new one.
I thought bending to change
Would make a lesser me.
It wasn't that way.
I never realized
That there's more to life
Than just turning over a leaf;
It's living again.
You've given me the light
And the courage to walk
Through the darkest passages,
You've sifted my soul
And made me more alive.
I used to feel empty
And now I'm not.
You taught me to love
To believe and to share;
I've changed.
I thought life
Was a vast wasteland of strife.
Nothing seems to be true
Lies seems to be sugar-coated
Everywhere I go.
And I think I'm ready
To take on the world.
There's nothing to fear;
I'm wearing a shield,
Because I'm saved.
--- Copyright © 2003 Layla-Tal Medina
I wrote this after camp. It changed my perspective on faith. When I feel like sliding down on my faith, this helps me to go up again. When people try to think they can put me down, I have my shield
MY STORY
January 5, 2004
It was a beautiful autumn day and I had just gotten out of school. My cousin lived with me at the time and she was taking my friends and me home. At the corner of the street, where it is very hard to see around the bushes, my cousin pulled out and a huge van hit us. I was in the front passenger seat and that is where the van hit us going well over the speed limit. Nobody would stop and help us and I was the only one stuck in the car. I was pinned between the two captain chairs but thankfully I was wearing my seat belt or I would have flown out of the car.
My ribs were killing my and I had a splitting headache. Nobody would stop and help and it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe. I felt like I was going to pass out and just before I did I said a quick prayer and God answered it in a second flat. I said, "God I need my guardian angel right now. How will I ever make it out of this alive?"
The next thing I know a man, dressed in a UPS uniform, comes and goes to my side of the car immediately after my cousin kicked open the door. He asked me if I was all right and said everything would be ok. Then I passed out, but my cousin said he called the ambulance and stayed with me until the paramedics got there. As soon as the ambulance came around the corner, my cousin said he disappeared into thin air. I was rushed to the hospital. My mother was at home worried because she couldn't come and get me because she just had surgery. When I woke I was in the hospital on a straight back board with an uncomfortable neck brace around my neck. The doctors said they didn't know how I had ever made it and didn't die instantly. But I told them, "Well I do...God sent my guardian angel to protect me."
I walked away that day with bruises and the right half of my rib cage broken, but I thanked God for sending my guardian angel or I might not be here. I learned that anything can happen at any time and we are not promised tomorrow so we need to live for tomorrow and today both.
--- Copyright © 2003 Vanessa Glidden
NEVER BE A STRANGER
January 5, 2004
Never be a stranger to love
Welcome it into the heart and home
Let it resonate like a poem
Embrace love as you would an old friend
Love never offends; it just heals and mends
Only true love can be a friend to all
The givers stand straight and tall
The haters are left to take the fall
Give freely to the world of your gifts
Of love, service to man and charity
What is not recognized now is no disparity
It will later come into full focus and clarity
Love should never be defensive
Love should never be offensive
Love should only be immensive
--- Copyright © 2003 Joseph P. Martino
WHERE WILL YOU FIND MOTIVATION?
January 5, 2004
This year is my first year on a swim team. A few weeks ago our swim team had its first meet and the day of the meet I found out my coach had put me in the 500yard freestyle. I knew that there was no way I would be able to finish this event yet alone do good in it because I have never swam that far before that day. I told the coach that I didn't think it was a good idea to put me, one of the least experienced people on the team, in this event. But he told me I still had to do it. A couple events before mine came up, I saw a kid that was mentally and physically challenged dive in the pool and swim a 100yard freestyle. This usually isn't a too hard of an event to swim but when I saw him struggle and swim the whole way without stopping, I knew that I had to at least try and if I loved this sport enough and tried hard enough that I would be able to finish the 500 race. When I got up to swim I was nervous, but the whole time I was up there and the whole time I was swimming I was thinking about that kid and all the dedication and determination he had. The more I thought about it, the harder I swam. In the end I placed third in the event and I knew that if I tried hard enough I would be able to finish anything I put my mind to.
--- Copyright © 2003 David Hood
A SOLDIER'S CHRISTMAS
January 5, 2004
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
my daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree, I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep
in perfect contentment, or so it would seem.
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eye when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know,
Then the sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
and I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts,
to the window that danced with a warm fire's light.
Then he sighed and he said "It's really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
that separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me."
"My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers.
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam
And now it is my turn and so, here I am."
"I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile."
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red white and blue... an American flag.
"I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home,
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat,
I can carry the weight of killing another
or lay down my life with my sisters and brothers
who stand at the front against any and all,
to insure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone.
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
to know you remember we fought and we bled
is payment enough, and with that we will trust.
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."
--- Copyright © 2000 Michael Marks
In loving appreciation of the countless Americans who have and continued to serve in the Armed Forces, and those who gave their life for their country. Your sacrifices will never be forgotten. We look forward to the day you come home. God bless and keep you always, and God Bless America.